Food shopping, baby and high risk dh?

[majesticallyawkward]

Did a large order for delivery later today... or thought I had until I checked my account and only £43 of the £130 order is actually coming (includes our neighbours shop too, I'm not a dickhead). There are a lot of essentials missing, this is meant for 2 adults + 1 child in our house and 2 adults in neighbours house for 2-3 weeks.

One of us will have to go out, dh is supposed to be isolating as much as possible as he's asthmatic and has had steroids a few times recently but also we have a 5 year old he struggles with and a bf baby who is super clingy to me that he can't deal with when crying. I'd rather not take the baby out with me although logically if I'm exposed baby is too and if in a sling there's little outside contact.

So, what do I do? What is the 'least risk' option?

1. send dh to a different supermarket, accepting his additional risk

2. go myself, leaving bf baby and 5 year old with dh. Can take out a bag of EBM in case im longer than 30-60 minutes or baby kicks off

3. go myself and take baby in the sling

2, of course. Neither of the other options is acceptable.

Christ alive! How the hell have you ended up with a man who can't even look after his own children while you shop?!. I'm shocked.

Obviously you have to go alone, your children's father will just have to get on with it.

Get a milky t shirt of yours onto DH (wear one of his for a while to make things easier!) Then put the damn sling on him and go out!

Baby will be fine for 2h. 3h max.

It's less can't look after them and more wont put any effort it. Like if the baby cries walking around a bit calms him but dh will just there and get annoyed. Or he'll shout at the 5 year old over little things and wonder why she kicks off. If I offer advice or ask him to lower his voice/watch his attitude he gets stroppy.

I get the baby is hard work, he's only 4 1/2 months and hasn't been away from me for longer than 10 minutes in all that time- as much as I'd love an hours alone time!

Jesus wept, he’s been a parent for 5 years and can’t be left with his child???
Great idea having a 2nd!
Where do women keep finding these waste of space ‘men’?
Go to shop ALONE, he’ll survive 🙄

He sounds like an absolute twat OP, why did you have a second child with a man who can't be fucked to take care of his kids?

2-3 weeks shopping for four adults and a child for £130.00 is good going. I got 80 items today and was around £85. I don't see anything wrong we that.

I would find out (via Facebook) when it's a quiet time at your local supermarket. Mine tends to be quiet on a weekday after 7pm, there's usually not a queue to get in then.

Leave the kids at home with Dad, if he wants to eat he'll need to lump it.

You'll have to walk round the supermarket in order following the arrows so write your shopping list out in order by isle so you don't need to go back and to save time. You shouldn't need to be gone for hours.

It would save you some time if you didn't have to do the neighbours order. Is there nobody else they can ask?

I suggest he would be looking after the children
I have no one to look after my children.

I really cannot understand why so many men get away with not stepping up to the plate. They cannot be called parents if the only use they have had is to be a sperm donor!

Even my old fashioned dad- although he would never have changed a nappy, bathed a kid, or pushed a pram (was considered 'poofy' in his day!!! ) would comfort babies and children. He was quite a magnet for kids and pets! He was great at making funny noises to amuse kids.

Your poor daughter. Why do you allow him to shout at her over nothing? How do you think that makes her feel? She must be so sad.

Why did you have another child with him?

N00b, well said.

Shopping would seem the secondary concern in all this. Personally I’d shop and stock up then kick him out.

WTAF? He needs to parent his kids. End of.

My 75 year old DF who has Parkinson's Disease looks after my 8 year old niece, who has ADHD, for a good portion of the time and has done since she was born (she lived with him and DM until she was 4) so it really concerns me that your husband has an attitude like this. I appreciate that this isn't really why you created this thread, but you deserve so much better! Having all the parenting resting on your shoulders must be such a burden, I really feel for you sweet. Maybe it's time for a chat with your husband and some parenting lessons - there's load of great parenting advice and tips online. Good luck xx

Option 4. He goes to the supermarket, drops food off outside your door, and then takes his useless arse elsewhere for isolation. I honestly cannot comprehend that you would rather consider taking your baby out with you in a sling, rather than going alone and him looking after them. And no, not blaming you, he sounds ridiculous.

• Your poor daughter. Why do you allow him to shout at her over nothing? How do you think that makes her feel? She must be so sad.

Why did you have another child with him?*

I pull him up on it every time, and talk to her about it. He's had sciatica for a few months now, which isn't an excuse but it's made his patience short.

Option 4. He goes to the supermarket, drops food off outside your door, and then takes his useless arse elsewhere for isolation.

I like this option!

Honestly I'm not sure our marriage will survive this, even without his dickish behaviour.

What point has your marriage got to where you have to create a list of options to go shopping...

Please, OP, have a think about the future you would like for you and your children.

Definitely number 2. Now is a good opportunity for him to learn how to be a parent. Make sure he is doing his share of the home schooling as well.

Hope you're okay OP, it's not your fault it's his, but do think about what is best for you and your children going forward, it sounds like you deserve better.

2 obviously

Nobody should be taking a baby to a shop when a virus is running wild killing people, what chance do you think a baby would have of surviving it

Right now 1 person needs to go the shop. DC stay with the other parent

Option 2, obviously. Put an empty bin bag inside the front door. Then when you get home, strip off immediately, put clothes into bin bag. Shower. Then put clothes into washing machine (and wash your hands after handling them.) And don't touch your face from leaving the house to having the shower.