Do you think the current situation will change your relationships?

[Grabbner]

Just musing :). I’m locked down with 3 of my 4 dc. Normally we would come together perhaps once a day, sometime in the evening. We’re all busy doing our own lives.

But in these circumstances we’re spending much more time together, and I’m seeing them in a different light. Eldest ds has sort of stepped up? He’s been organising and informing where previously he just seemed a bit distant.

Second eldest has been surprisingly anxious and restless. Youngest ds has stayed true to form and is very laid back. Dd, who is stuck in Australia for the time being, is in contact much more,

Not articulating very well but I feel like I’m seeing them slightly differently - anyone else feeling they’re evaluating relationships in a new light.

Yes. I can't bear my husband being at home. He's such a knob. He literally stands around watching me do everything!!

Aside from that I'm loving being with my 6 year old and doing her school work with her. I've learnt so much about what she is like (and how bloody clever!) and my 11 year old sat and hugged me while watching tv which is unheard of. My 13 year old is not coping well. Who knew that my timid little girl would turn into such a social butterfly!

Yes, I feel much closer to my DS.

Unfortunately, it’s made me think a lot less of my oldest friend, who seems to think the rules don’t apply to her and is putting others at risk needlessly.

I think relationships and marriages will start to fall apart. Men who are usually at work or busy with hobbies and not taking responsibility for their children come to light so much more now on lockdown. It’s harder to hide although they keep coming up with excuses, read about plenty of them on here!

Family relations that were strained anyway but made easier by not seeing each other much will now worsen further.

It’s strange isn’t it how we reevaluate people we’ve known for a long time.

I'm surprised how little tension the is in the house (so far!). Two teens don't seem to be annoying each other at all.

DS1 is lovely to chat too but we often didn't do it very much, I think we are both enjoying each other's company. DS2 is very quiet and I worry that he's gone too far inside himself, but that's not new.

DH is really not enjoying WFH and seems not to be very "present" despite spending all this time here. I'd like to get to the bottom of that but now seems like a very bad time to rock the boat.

motor I’m sorry you’re finding it hard going with your Dh. I think many people will need time to adjust to spending more time with their partners.

Yes. I already feel resentful.
Both husband and I are wfh in busy jobs.
Guess who ends up with the lion's share of homeschooling, house, groceries?

We sat down, we discussed it even but I am learning that, despite being on an average salary and a worker ant, you'd think he was CEO. He's pulling 10hr days still with me ordering him off the laptop.
It's as if his job is important and mine is not.

My one son rode a temperature for 2 days and he barely asked if son was ok.

I think if I got CV badly that he'd carry on working. He's like Gollum with the ring.

My boyfriend moved in two weeks ago, it’s going well so far, but I think my cleaning standards (well lack off) may piss him off eventually. Yesterday he suggested we clean the flat together as a fun activity, wtaf.

I’ll be back in a week when we’ve had our first argument.

I am hearing all the time from my female friends that the men-folk are tucked away working in the study/spare room. The women folk are doing everything else including working, shopping, cooking, cleaning, homeschooling etc.
The men are also grumpy because they can't disappear down the gym/pub.
Happy to be single right now!

For us it's made DP and me a bit more on the same page. I've always been irritated with some of the shit he buys off the internet (think weird collectable gaming books that he hoards - gives me the rage!) so in 8 years we've never pooled our money... now it's both of us saying 'Ok, so no frivolous shit and this is OUR money pot, not yours or mine.' I'm sure it won't last but so far it's been a positive! :)

This time is really going to shine a light on relationships that normally just run along. I'm retired and dh and I were already together 24/7. We get along very well but I've learnt I really do need casual chat as well as coffee and chat with friends. When it's all over I see a lot of work for solicitors.

It already has for me

Another one who is glad to be single and living alone. My friends and family have never been so amazing, chatting to me online several times a day - even friends that I lost contact with /fell out with have been great.
I get regular hilarious memes delivered to my inbox.
I hate to say it, especially since there are people struggling /suffering but my MH has never been better. My mum, who lives alone has said the exact same thing.

It hasn’t, and I suspect won’t, affect DH and I very much. We’ve known each other since we were kids; went to the same school together, always worked in the same place together etc. so we’re very used to spending all our time together anyway.

It’s just nice to spend that time more leisurely

Yes. I can't bear my husband being at home. He's such a knob. He literally stands around watching me do everything!!

Had to laugh at this. Even my 13 yo has started saying to DH "do you have to just stand?"

I have been told I have to WFH so have had my computer set up in the nice warm living-room obscuring the TV. I usually sit in the cold messy dining-room listening to DH and DS watching reruns of Only Fools and Horses and The Sweeney. Shame they can't watch the TV in the daytime now and have to actually go and do something

'I hate to say it, especially since there are people struggling /suffering but my MH has never been better.'

I know exactly what you mean. I think some people are having more interaction with friends/family than before becuase everyone is making more of an effort/more conscious of those who are on their own.

So far at home all normal.

It's shown me what a few "friends" are like though, in a bad way. And how utterly self-centred my mother is, which is very sad.

I've noticed a more vulnerable side to normally bombproof DS. The total lack of purpose, coupled with the prospect of not returning to school until he starts sixth form in September have rocked his world completely and he's a little at sea.
I've also realised DH is a lazy sod. In the past few days he's had to ask where the mop is kept, and the stuff for cleaning the bathroom (we've lived in our house for 7 years)
I've also seen the very best and the very worst in people I know well - generally these discoveries haven't been a surprise, but eye opening nonetheless.
Generally though I am eternally grateful my job takes me out of the house for 13 hours a day

We are doing surprisingly well. Mr Kalinka has no work and no income now, I can work from home. He’s taken over most of the cooking and being generally considerate and lovely. We’re looking at ways he could get back working again. I am certain now that this is the right man for me. Spent a lot of online time with friends too, has been great to reconnect.

My DP is amazing. He's been looking after me as it's likely I have this virus. He's been cooking and cleaning etc. I have underlying health conditions so he's been looking after me for a while. He's also been playing with his guitars and doing up our cellar. I wouldn't want to be isolated with anyone else. He really is my favourite person.

I think my mum and dad have a little bit more respect for me. I have done so much for them. They are fiercely independent and up until last week they were the infuriating seniors that carried on regardless. I have taken over the shopping, organised a newspaper delivery.
I was very much a free spirit in my youth and despite having children they didn't seem to notice I had actually grown up a lot.
They were asking me about money and I think it shocked them when I said I didn't need any because I had enough savings for a few month (they were always loaning me money). We are definitely closer only a week in.
My fiance on the other hand we don't know when we will see each other again (we don't live together)