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Original poster

My son is drunk - he’s 16

40 replies

Kahlua4me · 28/03/2020 02:17

Advice needed please!

My son went up to bed about 9.40 this evening after we had all watched a film together. He said he was going to go on the PlayStation for a bit and then sleep.

I was just falling asleep when I heard noise in his room so went to check, as I opened the door there was a strong smell of alcohol and he was very slurred! Unbeknown to us he had taken lots of alcohol to his room, goodness knows how much he has had to drink...

I took him downstairs to sit with dh, his dad, whilst I checked his room.

He was then very drunk and very tearful, repeatedly saying sorry, and that he misses his nana too much so thought he would drink to take the pain away. My mum died in an accident nearly 6 years ago and he didn’t talk much about her then but it all seems to be coming out now he has started at college.

We have never had a problem with him drinking before so I really don’t know what to do, either this evening or from now on. Any guidance gratefully received.

He did talk for a long time, although very slurred, and is now sleeping on the sofa whilst I sit next to him. Do I need to call a doctor? His breathing is regular and he hasn’t been sick. How will I know if he has alcohol poisoning?

He did get restless just now and sat up only to say sorry but didn’t really open his eyes.

OP posts:
fedup2017 · 28/03/2020 08:08

I think 16 year olds are actually going through a really shitty time.
If it was my 16 year old I would let him lie in give him a good breakfast and later today when he's recovered have a proper chat about his feelings ( he would probably hate this.....). Lots of teens are struggling with a lack of their normal structure for the week and think mental health and sadness will rise a lot over the coming weeks.

Flippyflo · 28/03/2020 08:10

How is he this morning Kahlua4me ?

Just a question do you and your DH drink or allow alcohol ? I’m just thinking what I was allowed to do at the age of 16 ( rightly or wrongly my mum and dad introduced me at a young age) of course that didn’t stop me seriously coxking up afew times where by they weren’t pleased Angry however all in all I could handle my drink.. and was down the pub at 15 onwards... and that was only around 10 years ago...

Don’t question him this morning I’m sure his quite possibly going to be embarrassed love him !

AvonBarksdale99 · 28/03/2020 08:26

Just to say you sound like a really good mum OP and that you’re doing your best. He’s lucky to have you.

Hope you can have a chat with him and work it all out. Don’t forget that life feels very different at 16 and we all made mistakes at that age.

OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe · 28/03/2020 08:41

Wake him up at 7 with a lovely big greasy fry up (if you have the stuff of course).
Or hoover the household nice and early including his room.
Then lock up any alcohol you may still have.

sleepytimebaby · 28/03/2020 08:47

Really hope DS is ok. I know you're worried but try and not be hard on him it sounds like this was a cry for help. You sound like a lovely mum I'm sure DS will be fine with the right help x

carriebreadshaw · 28/03/2020 08:49

How is he this morning? A bottle of beer and some whiskey won't have hurt too much.

You sound lovely. Let him lie in, paracetamol and squash and a big cuddle when he wakes up

EngagedAgain · 28/03/2020 09:26

Re. Pp, (Obviously, drinking to blot out stress is a slippery slope) yes, this is a good point. I'm not sure getting him to see a counsellor (sp?), at this stage is a good idea. Of course that is your call, but you could be making something that's not there. Plus at the moment he won't be able to see anyone anyway. Give it a bit of time, watching his mood, as at I doubt he be able to get hold of any drink elsewhere, so it might manifest in other ways if he's having problems. Also, it could just have been triggered off by the circumstances we are all in, and causing some youngsters to worry. I would keep your reaction fairly low key. It may or may not just be a fleeting problem.

Original poster
Kahlua4me · 28/03/2020 09:40

Thank you for all your lovely messages, it really helps me. Sorry I can’t reply to everyone.

FlippyFlo yes we do have alcohol around and he does occasionally have a beer with dh in the evenings.

lightlypoached we do have all meals together when at home. I think this is why I feel so lost in how to deal with what’s happening. Dh and I work at home so are always around and we have a stable home life.

He’s doing ok this morning. Amazingly he hasn’t been sick but has a mega headache! Talking lots about how he feels and crying too. As somebody said, nana was his go to when times were tough and then she was gone with no goodbye. I have found it too hard to deal with so can understand how he feels.

Will certainly do him a big breakfast with lots of hugs.

OP posts:
Bloomburger · 28/03/2020 09:42

Do you have healthcare? DS sounds like your DS, he's been having CBT for health anxiety but just him being able to talk to someone else I think really helps boys in particular. He can continue having it by Skype during the lockdown too.

Sounds like it all just got a bit too much. Treat him kindly today. X

Original poster
Kahlua4me · 28/03/2020 09:47

I have emailed the counsellor I used to see if she can fit him in, either through Skype or on the phone.

Have you found it helpful for your DS? Hopefully if she can fit him in soon it will be good as he is now open to talking.

OP posts:
Stickywhitelovepiss · 28/03/2020 09:51

Without wanting to be alarmist, how sure are you that this is the first time?

Original poster
Kahlua4me · 28/03/2020 10:01

Definitely the first time he has been drunk, yes.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kahlua4me · 28/03/2020 10:03

Sorry, worded that badly. Yes I am sure it’s the first time he’s been this drunk and has drunk alone.

We are a close family and do lots together so even if he goes to parties we tend to pick him up and I would then know if he was drunk.

OP posts:
Frownette · 28/03/2020 10:08

Has he surfaced yet?

Original poster
Kahlua4me · 28/03/2020 10:10

Yes he’s been up since 7, talking lots and has drunk some water. Now asleep on the sofa but did seem calmer before he fell asleep.

OP posts:
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