Not seeing it sorry! Least convincing advert you’ve seen

[Grabbner]

Just seen an advert claiming that nail fungus can be stylish! It’s going take some work to convince me of that!

My personal favourite was a period pants company suggesting that period pants would make a perfect gift for Valentine’s Day.

Oh yes, I’d be delighted to open a gift wrapped pair of period pants :). Good effort on the manufacturer’s part though.

And why do adverts for cleaning products feature women (it’s usually women) smiling happily and going about their chores with pristine hair, make up and clothes?

I go about my cleaning with not a smile in sight, my make up (if I have any on) sliding down my face due to being hot and sweaty, and my least pristine clothes.

Beautiful, slim people eating chocolate. Never an overweight, 50 something in ancient pyjamas and greasy hair!

Oh yes Sunshine and not only are they beautiful and young, they can eat things alluringly. Don’t see many of them cramming the maltesers in by the handful.

That made me laugh! Definitely no alluring consumption here!

Any perfume ad ever, everywhere. It's a smell. Not even a very nice one most of the time.

Most car adverts. Even a top spec Lambo won't outrun a pyroclastic flow. Hell, even the Land Speed Record machines wouldn't.

Juan shit smells plenty.

Arthur I’ll take your word about the pyroclastic flow .

Perfume ads are specifically designed to make us lesser mortals feel shit about ourselves. I kind of feel they’ve shot themselves in the foot though because I see glamorous young couple in exotic location, then I look at un-glamorous, old, single me and think “Nope, not for me that one”.

It’s the ones that invent a world class dilemma that we never knew we had - and present you with the solution.

Coffee in tea bags? How did we live before someone invented these?

Nobody EVER drops food down their top while they're eating en famile and grinning at each other like idiots. I've only got to make slight eye contact with DH when I'm eating and my top becomes a Jackson Pollock.

Always Discreet.

Encouraging women not to be embarrassed about incontinence - great idea.

Encouraging them to accept it as normal rather than seeking treatment - no.

Eating maltesers by the handful? Really?

slips spade under the sofa and sucks in stomach

You pour them into your mouth from the pouch surely? Don’t want to risk germs by touching them.

Don’t see it so much today, but in the past, anyone having a period used to wear white trousers, and go roller-skating.

Pouch? They come in pouches? Not just boxes?

Pyroclastic flow is a certain kind of movement of debris (lava, rocks etc.) from the middle of an active volcano. I remember one ad that featured driving away from molten lava. Yeah right.

The washing powder ones that end with 'always keep away from children'.

This is impossible. I try, but they're fast little buggers.

Yup, resealable ones too, almost as if they think you're going to have some leftover.

^that was about the Maltesers in pouches. Forgot to quote 🤦‍♀️

Advertisements for stair lifts and walking aids by youngish, slim active-looking people.

Eating Maltesers? I can’t even get any Maltesers - they’ve all been panic bought around here.

Yeah, 'sharing bags'. Wtff are they meant to be about? Who the fuck shares sweets and chocolate? Not this womble, for sure!

Encouraging them to accept it as normal rather than seeking treatment - no.

You mean you don't want a "trickle of joy"?

Over 50s insurance plans where they're bapping on about fecking parsnips & June's petunias. I'm over 50. I'm more into punk, horror movies and getting kegged on vodka.

People with obvious veneers advertising whitening toothpaste.

Young, beautiful women with flawless skin advertising anti ageing cream.

Pull the other one!