Very near miss this morning - anyone had similar?!

[Grabbner]

I’m not sure how I’ve avoided this hazard so far!

Shocking eyesight, so blindly reached for the toothpaste. Fortunately for me, Deep Heat may be in a tube very like a toothpaste tube, and it may be white like toothpaste, but it smells to buggery!

Most exciting thing that’s (nearly) happened to me this week :)

Any other near misses?

OMG yes I’ve almost done this before !!!

@genfromgrimsby it burned so bad for so long that I had to make an extremely embarrassing call to 111. I will give the call handler all the credit for not laughing!!

I once had to get up very early for a plane and I reached for my eye drops on the bedside table in my half-asleep state. I woke up pretty quickly after the first (& only) eye as it was the Olbas Oil bottle I’d mistakenly grabbed!! 😫

I once on holiday after a long flight and a certain amount of wine put nappy rash cream on my toothbrush instead of toothpaste. Took quite a while to get the taste out of my mouth and the toothbrush never recovered

My mum once used pritt stick instead of lipstick

@buzzingbutterfly I promise you I'm not laughing.....

Someone at school was once late for an O Level exam (yes, I’m old) because she accidentally sprayed Immac hair remover on her scalp instead of dry shampoo. Perhaps that’s why they stopped putting it in aerosols.

Wiped arse with Dettol wipe.

Took make-up off with a make up pad that had Olbas Oil on it!😬

Near miss? I had the mother of all near misses this weekend. My 7yo DD did an unexpected wobble on her bike and pitched into the (large, fast moving, cold) river on Saturday afternoon. I jumped in and threw her back onto the side. Then I had a second near miss where I couldn't get a hold of anything on the river bank to pull myself up but somehow I managed it. Then we looked for the bike... gone. Along with DD's favourite teddy bear, one she inherited from me. And then after we got home DH went back out to look for him and managed to find him and hook him out the water with a big bit of wire attached to a painting extension pole thing. So three near misses in one day! The bike is gone now it seems, and my phone was fucked (I jumped in fully clothed and, as it turned out, still wearing my rucksack, although fair play to Karrimor, everything stayed dry in it despite me being submerged to the neck). I'm still internally freaking out about it slightly so very glad to see this thread and be able to say it all out again! Every time I share it with someone it gets a bit easier to think about.

I once tried to sooth my thrush with a travel sized tube of Colgate toothpaste. With a nozzle thing screwed on it to get it in the right place. The thrush was not in my mouth. I was in bloody agony! Minty fresh though.

Ok you ready for this one
My nan once made my granddad a lovely pie for dinner using a tin of dog food!
My nan was as blind as a bat without her glasses. She had decided to wash her hair and had left her glasses upstairs. She ran down to let my aunt in (who was going to perm her hair), ran in the kitchen, grabbed a tin of stewed steak out of the pantry, threw it in a dish with the suet pastry and popped it in the oven.

My nan and aunt put the smell down to the chemicals in the perm!

Granddad came home and was eating his pie when my uncle walked in, went the pantry and found the dog food missing. To this day we still don't know why my uncle had put a tin of dog food in the pantry - THE Y NEVER EVEN HAD A DOG! 😂😂😂😂😂

By the time they had worked out where the tin of dog food had gone, granddad had finished his pie!!!

Every Christmas after that, my granddad would present my nan with a tin of dog food and say "go on love, make us a pie"

It even got mentioned at their funerals and even then the church was filled with laughter - especially when you factored in the new vicar and the look on his face!!!

My nan and gramps taught me how to cook and grow veg - I've just planted some of my seedlings and checked my freezers. My daughter's have rang me to tell me they've been doing the same. This week my 3 week old grandchild has been sleeping, whilst mummy has been checking her veg garden. I passed on the skills but not the pie😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I once put the Lush's Charity Pot hand cream instead of the R&B hair cream into my hair. I was in a total rush, stressed out and that nearly pushed me over the edge.
I quickly washed my fringe (was sane enough to realise the cocoa butter smell was different from the citrusy smell of the hair cream). The hair still needed a quick wash.

toomuchtooold that sounds traumatic. So glad your dd and teddy bear are ok.

I’ve laughed at these - thank you - not much to laugh about today.

Oldqueen you’ve reminded me of the time I stood at the back door calling the cat - he was down the other end of our, not very long at all, garden and stubbornly refusing to come in. Only, on approaching, he wasn’t. It was a toy dinosaur.

I've often crossly told my black, fake fur hat to get off my bed.

I brushed my son’s teeth with bepanthen a few night ago 🙈

I once brushed my teeth with my daughter's Aqueos Cream instead of the toothpaste.

One funny one involved XMIL, at Christmas at XH's grandma's house. XH, BIL and their uncle were all sitting on the sofa, one of them passed wind and started laughing and giggling like naughty schoolboys.

XMIL took offence at this, and stomped off to the kitchen to get air freshener, saying how disgusting, immature and uncouth they all were.

Only, she grabbed the first can that came to hand which was furniture polish, stomped back through and sprayed them all with the polish

When we all laughed at this, she stormed out of the house and back to her home which was just across the road

I sprayed my seedlings with zoflora instead of water a couple of weeks ago.
Smelled nice, but killed them all

DH scrapes the cat plates on the table where I generally sit. One day, dd and I were at the table and I saw what I thought was a little crumb of chocolate........

Not a near miss

My family still tease me about eating cat food

@Grabbner - brilliant! I have this fabulous vision of a lone forlorn inanimate T-Rex longing to come in for dinner....

My much missed Nana came flying down the stairs in an absolute panic when I was a teenager coming in from school and nearly flattened me - she lived with us - she had started cooking a corned beef pie - one of her specialities - and half way through cooking time had realised she had put no corned beef in it! She had to carefully lift the half cooked crust and pop it in, all the while worrying she had lost her marbles.... bless her, it became family lore and never fails to raise a smile......

I had an awful cough a while ago (years - don't panic!) and got up at about 3am to get some cough medicine. I walked into the kitchen, opened the cupboard and took a teaspoon full straight into my mouth - and then I realised that it was TCP! I have never moved across my kitchen to the sink so quickly in my life. Bleurgh!!!

I have also polished wood with hairspray - after dd and her friend got ready in the lounge and she left the can on the coffee table. I wondered why the polish had been left out but I didn't glance at the tin before using it.

A few years ago,I nearly drank a jar of olives in brine,thinking it was my can of drink. My Dd also took a anti-diarrhoea tablet that she had intended to give to her DH. She popped it out of the packet and without thinking,put it in her mouth! Luckily she realised and spat it out then gave it to her Dh

*@ellanwood they'd have had a job to cling on, he was rather slippery *
That made me giggle-visions of fleas hanging on for dear life.

I once had no conditioner and read egg whites were a good alternative, let me tell you...DO NOT TRY THIS AT ALL. scrambled hair

@lazarusb Did it stop you coughing though?