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Original poster

Son is unable to see his girlfriend during covid-19

30 replies

Terpau2 · 25/03/2020 16:56

Am i being really mean saying that my son (26 yrs) cant see his girlfriend (21 yrs) whilst we are doing lockdown? It's so hard but as she is not part of our household I'm following government advise but I feel terrible. I'm not alone in making this harsh decision I'm sure. I would really like to talk to other parents having to make this choice.

OP posts:
pinkazing · 25/03/2020 16:58

No you are completely right

AmyFl · 25/03/2020 16:59

I have said the same to my adult DC. It is hard, I know.

Weregoingonanadventure · 25/03/2020 17:06

At 26, he should understand this. He's not a child. He is a fully grown adult who should understand the issues, the possible outcome if we dont lock down and the need to all sacrifice for a few months.
I'm only 4 years older and I understand it. My kids arent seeing their dad. They are 7 and 8. They understand. If your son is fighting you on this then he's acting like a bloody toddler.

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EL8888 · 25/03/2020 17:07

No. It’s hardly harsh under the circumstances

Cecily75 · 25/03/2020 17:08

You know you're right, following government guidelines.

Tell him to read the rules - seeing a girlfriend isn't essential. My 17yr can understand that and is not seeing their gf, is there a reason why your 26yr doesn't understand?

DartmoorChef · 25/03/2020 17:09

Its only 3 weeks. They can facetime each other and to be fair if they live close enough they could meet up on a walk as long as they stay 2m away from each other m

Original poster
Terpau2 · 25/03/2020 17:15

His gf is putting pressure on him. she is now asking if she can come live with us during lockdown. she is still working but not for much longer but she isn't part of this household and as this virus rapidly spreading I dont want to take any chances. Would anyone at this stage say yes ok come live with us doing lockdown when you've officially finished work?? Surely it's too late at this stage?

OP posts:
WarmSausageTea · 25/03/2020 17:19

I agree it’s too late. It’s way too late.

fourpeasinapod · 25/03/2020 17:21

It is hard but they are both adults and they should know this. They are not kids.

The government have said you should avoid people as much as possible and they have in fact stated that boyfriends and girlfriends who don’t live with each other shouldn’t be interacting with each other in person.

This is for their own good and for others own good as well. This virus is dangerous and we need to minimise the impact of it very quickly.

So I’m sorry but they need to not see each other for now. If they are going to break the rules then they are exactly the reason as to why this lockdown will get stricter because nobody understands simple rules.

If they need to talk I’m sure they can skype or FaceTime. It’s awful for everybody but I’d rather go without seeing my partner for a couple of months if it meant I was saving lives.

Purpleartichoke · 25/03/2020 17:21

If he wants to see her, he can go live with her. He absolutely can not visit her and she is not allowed in your home.

pinkazing · 25/03/2020 17:22

Yes too late, and it’s not forever, it’s harsh, but right now everyone is making sacrifices.

Palavah · 25/03/2020 17:24

This isn't your call, or his.

If you are happy for her to move in (doesn't sound as though you are) then I'd want her to self-isolate for 7 days first.

If he wants to move on with her then he can do but again, would make sense for her to self-isolate for 7 days first if she's been travelling into work.

Riverviews · 25/03/2020 17:25

He'll have to understand or move with her.

My son is seeing his dad but that's allowed as he has two households and he moves in between every few days. So if his dad or I had the virus, it's too late already

Nmagain · 25/03/2020 17:26

Tell them to get a job together and they’ll be fine. I really don’t understand the difference tbh

ShagMeRiggins · 25/03/2020 17:26

Does she have her own place? Let him live with her, if that’s what they are prepared to do.

You’re under no obligation to introduce a new person to your household right now.

So far, it’s only for three weeks. Separate holidays have lasted longer.

IceKitten · 25/03/2020 17:27

YANBU

Weregoingonanadventure · 25/03/2020 17:28

@Palavah
How is this not her call, or even his? Is it only the women in a relationship who get to make any decisions?

He lives in his mums house. It is absolutely her call who gets to go in there. If he chooses to go our and meet her then his mum can absolutely tell him not to come home. And she can absolutely decide that the girl cannot move in.

He absolutely has a say on whether or not he goes to live with the girl. Its not all up to her. It is his call whether or not he moves in with her if she asks. And if he asks her, she can say no.

Thesearmsofmine · 25/03/2020 17:29

If they want to live together and self isolate together they can arrange that but if they expect to live in your home then no. They are adults and we are lucky enough to have many ways to keep in touch.

mencken · 25/03/2020 17:29

the answer is no. They've got video calling. And mail order vibrators...

little madam needs to grow up, tell her that if she tries any more 'pressure'.

Hippywannabe · 25/03/2020 18:25

I can't see my children or grandson until this is over. She needs to get a grip.

Bluntness100 · 25/03/2020 18:28

They should both understand this at this age, and he should be grown up enough to deal with her without involving you. They are not children.

elQuintoConyo · 25/03/2020 18:29

Tell them to pull their socks up.

And stop being selfish.

fluffiphlox · 25/03/2020 18:31

They sound like a pair of babies to me. It’s pants for lots of people currently. So it’s tough luck.

MrsLindor · 25/03/2020 18:45

I won't be seeing my bf while we're in lockdown, the rules are very clear, him coming to live with me isn't an option because he's still working and having his dc to stay, so me and my dc are staying isolated.

Your DS can go and live with his gf if they choose to and her household agrees.

ChicChicChicChiclana · 25/03/2020 18:51

There are hundreds of thousands of couples in exactly the same circumstances. Seeing each other does not fall under the umbrella of "essential". We all feel sorry for couples we know who can't be apart right now. Remind him and her to be patient and grateful that they are very unlikely to die from this virus.