And lo, the screaming in gardens has started

[Lludmilla]

Kids have been off school 1.5 days. That didn't take long, did it??

(And yes, I know this is a polarising topic on here, but today I'm really struggling to wfh due to constant screaming from kids playing in gardens. And no, I don't mean shouting or laughing or giggling, none of which I'd have a problem with... I mean full-on, top-of-the-lungs screaming.)

I get that we have to make allowances/keep things in proportion etc etc at a time like this, I really do. I also get that it's nice that we at least have some sunshine during all this, and I think it's great that kids can play in their gardens. But the SCREAMING. It's like this every single year in my street as soon as the sun dares to show its face, it gets to me and makes it hard to concentrate on work, and sometimes I need to vent even though I know I'm likely to get a pasting for it.

Surely it can't just be me?

buy a paintball gun! I feel ya, cant stand screaming kids, theres having fun and theres just being knobs lmao

Not just you OP. We have two screamers here. If it’s sunny and they’re at home then they are in the garden screaming. Full on, full throated screams. Sometimes it goes on all day. Other times we might be lucky and only have a couple of hours.

@inmyivorytower.

I work in schools. Yes... Yes they really do

Those who say it’s fine - I assume they don’t live in a block of flats with kids up and down and around the back yelling their heads off (and their dads - our dads are in fine voice) from the 6am wake ups to the bedtime tantrums - 7 days a week.

Add to that us all having to work/study at home. You can’t wear headphones all day - I need to answer the phone for the office for one thing.

@helgahelga what was that about raw nerves. Right back at you doll.

@AmericanAdventure

I work in schools.

Oh dear GOD. I fear for humanity.

My garden is in the middle of a long street, that backs onto another long street- we all have similar size gardens and it's mostly families with children. Its lovely that the sun is out and children are playing, such a nice sound in dire times. Until the directly next door to us neighbours let their two children out! All peace is broken! The eldest is 9 and screams and shrieks the entire time, narrating what she is doing as she is doing it. Her 6 year old brother is quiet and reserved- poor kid probably cant get a word in edgeways 🤣 within a few minutes of the shrieking starting, the general play noises have stopped and people go back inside. They are lovely children, but bugger me! The shrieking is constant and sounds like something off the exorcist. Interspersed by her dad or mum screaming at her to be quiet 😂 she only does it when outside, and when the children are at school (not far from here) we can here the sound of them all on the playground and the one distinctive voice above all the others is next doors little girl.

And I think most sensible people can tell the difference between children playing, having fun and screaming.

@Lludmilla

Try to ignore a certain poster on here. I'm ignoring its baiting from now on.

HINT the username begins with A.

I think the only way to stop kids screaming when they're having fun is to .... oh yeah, you can't. I think you'll have to stop the fun. Or just accept it. Whichever you think is most sustainable. Remember them screaming is saving lives.

And their dads caterwauling the lion king (breaking occasionally for the highlights from Frozen). I am beginning to really dislike lion king dad.

I do not agree with children being smacked. We were able to play without being smacked if we were breaking any rules.

Ensuring DC don’t scream is a long term parenting goal but needs to be started early. My own DDs were encouraged to articulate their problems and screaming wasn’t tolerated by me. DC knew I would not accept this behaviour. Some Parents do seem deaf to it though and think it’s normal behaviour. It isn’t. I do have sympathy if DC are SEN or cannot articulate what the issue is but this is a minority and shouldn’t be large numbers.

When taking my DC to playgrounds in the 90s, I do not recall other DC screaming (unless they fell over). It just seems some parents are unable to converse with DC and ensure they can talk about what the problem is or ensure they don’t scream and annoy others. Simple good manners really.

Am I alone in feeling joy when I hear children's laughter? I work nights and sleep a lot of the day but the squealing and giggling ringing all around my estate currently, makes me genuinely happy.

Erm, did you wander onto the wrong thread? This one's about SCREAMING

You are not alone in feeling joy when you hear children's laughter, no. It's a near universal response. Experiencing it indicates you are alive, and human.

@helgahelga

You fear for humanity because I suggested a empathetic approach to children

Whereas YOU suggested physical violence.

OK...

It can be very loud here too, boys with footballs, they have very healthy lungs, can be heard for miles. But the really painful one is a small girl with the loudest scream I have ever heard, it is one of those that makes your ears bleed.

Girl next door shakes the fence just by using her normal voice. She is a great kid, but oh, my poor ears.

screaming is saving lives No. It’s really not. Children don’t need to scream. Otherwise how do the manage to keep quiet at school?

@AmericanAdventure I have a high tolerance for noise. I live on a busy city street (well, normally busy) with a window open 24/7 and get on with it. I also used to live a mile from a primary school and if the wind was blowing in the wrong direction at break time you could hear them loud and clear. That's one thing.

Going out in the garden and being a nuisance to your neighbours is quite another. Calling me out for calling them animals? I simply called a spade a spade If they don't make that racket indoors, they don't need to make it outside. In these times we all have to be respectful of each other, not just make allowances for lazy parents.

full sympathies OP. some kids are just really annoying. On the whole my DC are very well behaved. Quiet in places theyre need to and wouldnt dream of kicking someones seat on a plane/cinema etc.

However middle DC has the most nasal shrill voice. It only comes into full force when shes kicking off or excited, but its like nails down a chalkboard. She just seems to speak through her noise in this whiny high tone that is pretty close in pitch to an ambulance siren. I have tried bringing her inside when she does it but it has come to the point I dont think she realises she is doing it.

However theres a different, I feel, between parents who think its fine for their child to be annoying or screaming, and those who are trying to fix it. Therefore I would maybe speak to the parents?

I have lost count of the amount of times today I have brought her inside or told her to speak normally and not through her nose.

Actually you can stop screaming. You take them back in and monitor their behaviour. No screaming equals lots of play! Bribe them. Even explain to them about caring for others. Schools do this all the time. If a child is 9, they can understand!

I have no problem with the sounds of children playing (in fact my garden basically backs on to a primary school playground). I think it's one of the loveliest sounds there is.

But I know exactly what you mean by the screaming. It's the 'who can scream the loudest' scream, that is in fact, often a competition and is truly a horrible sound.

As for the ‘empathy’... are people missing the fact that children should be taught to have empathy for those around them? A bit of give and take surely?

I'm afraid you lot would hate me. My 3 year old had a screaming tantrum today. Unfortunately when he is like that nothing can get him to stop. You can't reason, threaten or bribe him, you just have to wait it out. Unfortunately today he launched into one just as my dh was in a teleconference, we live in a tiny flat so had no choice but to take ds outside so he could scream whilst I walked him up and down in the garden. It's not ideal but none of this is a good situation. No doubt you all think I am a terrible parent too.

This isn't about tantrums though, is it. It's about children screaming while playing.

DH has been working from home since last Friday. Between screaming children (just why?) inconsiderate neighbours and their bloody builders he's decided that maybe, just maybe there are valid reasons for my disillusionment with suburbia. Silver lining.