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Original poster

Absolutely nothing from teen for Mother’s Day

26 replies

namechangemania · 22/03/2020 15:14

Yes yes I KNOW there are more important things going on right now and I have no right to be upset about a Hallmark holiday. DS is 15 and I’m a single parent (shared with my ex though) and I didn’t even get a “happy Mother’s Day”, not even on a text from the the other room. its upset me even more than usual this year probably because of the stress of everything else going on it’d just be nice to have felt appreciated. Feeling so sad and lonely right now.

OP posts:
BlessYourCottonSocks · 22/03/2020 15:20

That's really sad, I'm sorry OP. I have a DS the same age, who surprised me somewhat by giving me a (rude) card, but I suspect DH probably bought it for him, as I don't think it would have occurred to him to do so. Your DS probably hasn't thought about it, and would be sorry really if you told him it had made you sad, even if he was surly about it.

They do appreciate you underneath - they just aren't good at showing it. Can you ask him, 'Shall we watch a film together for Mother's Day?' just to give him the chance to say 'yes' (even if out of guilt)

PoetLauren · 22/03/2020 15:21

I'll join the club. Nothing from all three of my children and nothing for my birthday last week too. Sigh.

BlessYourCottonSocks · 22/03/2020 15:25

Oh Poet that's sad. How old are they?

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Events & celebrations
ItchyScratch · 22/03/2020 15:29

My son is the same age and he doesn’t acknowledge it either but I expect that and it doesn’t bother me.

I am lucky than I have a 12 yo DD who is the opposite though

PoetLauren · 22/03/2020 15:30

7, 11, 13.

Its been a very busy and stressful time and their Dad is... On and off... (mostly off). But still stings a bit.

Afonavon · 22/03/2020 15:30

Nothing from adult child today, but I really don’t mind at all. I know she loves me everyday, and don’t want her wanting money on token gifts. Teen child has bough me chocs as his dad kept persuading him. He has eaten most of them himself. I don’t mind that either.

I understand that it hurts you, but it really doesn’t reflect how much you’re loved.

OhioOhioOhio · 22/03/2020 15:33

I'm not making a fuss today and mine are little. How do you teach your kids to do something nice without being needy?

YewandOak · 22/03/2020 15:35

I've had nothing from either of mine. But I know they love me,anyway,so not really bothered.

turkeyontheplate · 22/03/2020 15:35

I'd be upset too. Selfish little toad Sad

I mightn't do very much for him today, tbh.

fedup2017 · 22/03/2020 15:35

I don't know what it's like in your house but in ours everything is a bit unsettled. DS is 16 and about an hour ago ... He said "oh my god it's mother's day isn't it" and gave me a hug. No card or present. I'm not too fussed though because hes got so much going on and so has DH. If they are normally appreciative and this is a blip given current circumstances id cut them some slack

LochJessMonster · 22/03/2020 15:37

That’s sad. I’ve always bought my mum a card and at least flowers every year. When I was young, my Dad use to get them on behalf of us.

DoAsYouWouldBeMumBy · 22/03/2020 15:38

I got a crap handmade card - just a bit of paper with happy Mother's Day written on it - from my DS12. His dad did nothing. Not a cup of tea, not a daffodil. I feel really shit and ended up yelling at them both.

It's not a Hallmark holiday to me - I'm a practising Catholic and it is part of Lent to me. I attended a virtual Mothering Sunday service, which has been the highlight of my day.

Roselilly36 · 22/03/2020 15:39

I haven’t had anything either, doesn’t worry me in the least, when DS2 emerged from his bedroom this morning he wished me a happy mother’s day, and made me a cup of tea, which was lovely. DH is making a lovely dinner. Much bigger things going on in the world.

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 22/03/2020 15:41

There is a part of the brain that becomes less active in teenagers. This is no joke but a medical fact. It makes them self centred and lacking in empathy

1Micem0use · 22/03/2020 15:42

I'm a single mum of a tiny baby, and my friend and her girlfriend got me a lovely personalised moonpig mothers.day card. It was such a lovely surprise.

Wonderbag · 22/03/2020 15:43

Maybe he doesn’t know?

ilovemydogandmrobama2 · 22/03/2020 15:43

My expectations are currently playing handball with the kerb. Grin

DD(13) woke up at 11:00 complained she was tired. realised -her- -dad- -called- -her- it was Mother's Day and managed a reluctant greeting.

DS (12) is oblivious.

DD (8) Made a card

pitlochrypat · 22/03/2020 15:48

Cut them a bit of slack, they are probably stressed too. It'd sting a bit here too.
DS told me today he wants to go and stay with his girlfriend's family for the duration of this and did I mind. Yes, I bloody well do.

Gatekeeper · 22/03/2020 15:51

ah- sympathies. I got nowt from my two either 16 & 17 but letting it go as they are stressed to bits

StillSmallVoice · 22/03/2020 15:53

I woke up to a snotty WhatsApp message from adult DD because I had offended her yesterday. She said something slightly disparaging about one of her personality traits, and I was supposed to say 'oh no you're not, you are wonderful'. I had no idea I had caused offence, and now she appears not to be speaking to me.

She has had a huge amount of support from me, emotionally, financially and practically.

Had a conversation with adult DS and about twenty minutes in he said 'happy Mother's Day' in passing. The is a step up. He usually forgets.

I was wondering yesterday why so many people were walking past my house carrying flowers.

TheClitterati · 22/03/2020 16:31

Dd1 cooked me breakfast. Dd2 made a card at scho. Nice start to Mother's Day.

I said I'd like a nice clean car as a "present" and could we all do it together. Car is pretty groady mostly down to them. I may as well have asked them to eat vomit. They didn't help.

I feel live I've raised the 2 most selfish kids in England. 🙄.

Not a great start to months at home together.

iHateJanuary2020 · 22/03/2020 18:16

Totally understand Op. I'd cut 16 year old DD some slack re stress, GCSE cancellation etc etc but shes crap like this every year. DP always has to rally her and it's a last minute card that the felt tip is still smudgey on. She's the same with Fathers day too. I remind her, just a card, don't need to get a present. She's a talented artist as well so can come up with amazing stuff if she wants to. DD2 is 12 and managed a lovely homemade card and chocolate that she bought ahead of lockdown which helps enormously.

CandyLeBonBon · 22/03/2020 18:24

I didn't either. Can't bring myself to care really. Everything seems so overwhelming it kind of pales into insignificance for me. Sorry you're upset though op. Have some Thanks

BlessYourCottonSocks · 22/03/2020 19:36

@PoetLauren yes, it would sting with me.

I'd probably say something about it though - just, 'you do realise that you ALL missed my birthday AND Mother's Day in the last week? All of you. Maybe have a think about how you'd feel if everyone did that to you?'

(I'm not very saintly. And I think people need calling on selfish behaviour or they don't change).

WeAllHaveWings · 22/03/2020 19:59

We aren't into gifts in a big way, I got a box of Ferrero Roche from ds(16) which dh picked up from the supermarket last time he was in.

I've told dh not to buy for mothers day again now ds is 16. I'll wait now until ds is ready to buy to for me off his own back. Might take a couple of years but one day he will and it will be special.