To think Mumsnet need to put on a let's be kind to each other message

[Casino218]

Just at the moment. Just while these events are unprecedented and lots of people are trying to make sense of an ever changing landscape. Can Mumsnet maybe put reminders out there somehow.

I've seen so many posts where really frightened people are coming to this thread for help and getting shitty comments back.

This is not a time to be shitty and some people need reminding.

It's just people asking questions because they are upset and confused!
In some cases that's true. (Eg seeking clarification on how the 7/14 day isolation works because the government release was wordy or asking a genuine question because what their boss has said regarding work is different from government guidance on cornovirus).

In other cases its people willingly ignoring advice and hoping other selfish people will validate their actions so they can continue being selfish.

I agree with @DioneTheDiabolist
I like don’t be a dick

Nobody should be affected by words on a screen from a stranger, and if they are that is their problem to fix

If we accept that words on a screen from a stranger can help or comfort people, surely it follows that words on a screen from a stranger can also cause distress.

It’s usually possible to make the same point without aggression.

Nobody should be affected by words on a screen from a stranger, and if they are that is their problem to fix

Guess some people have never heard of cyber bullying then. Tell that to the parents of young suicide victims who've been hounded by text. Christ alive.

There is a difference in being direct and just sticking the boot in. There's been a lot of sticking the boot in in recent days, even compared to the shit storm of the last week of June 2016 when a lot of MNers got a political disappointment and got vitriolic with it. The dust did settle though after a few weeks and hopefully it will again as people adjust. This is harder as it is imminent, yet the scale of it not evident for a couple of weeks.

Everyone is stressing over something. Some, literal life and death, some, economic survival, others a radical shift of lifestyle in 7 days. It's not surprising that some people are struggling to wrap their heads around it. It's not a game of Top Trumps. It's not the most critical worry gets priority and brush everyone else under the carpet. You can be direct and diplomatic.

#Don'tbeadick

I can understand people lashing out in fear and frustration at posters who are ignoring social distancing etc, but just recently I've seen someone (claiming to be a healthcare worker) attacking a pregnant woman because she 'didn't need to eat three meals a day'. Also a thread by a woman whose young DD almost died from meningitis - cue lots of utter pricks telling her she's an idiot and should have ignored NHS advice and driven to A&E herself.

@BogRollBOGOF absolutely. This is not a time for sticking the boot in. Where would we be if our intensive care nurses thought that way or our paramedics?

Guess some people have never heard of cyber bullying then. Tell that to the parents of young suicide victims who've been hounded by text. Christ alive.

SubordinateThatClause Cyber Bullying, like offline bullying, is a targeted and repeated series of attacks by the same person/group of people and yes, is very real.

However, that is not what is happening here. Various direct posts via many different people is not cyber bullying; it is a sign you need to build some resilience if you’re affected by it.

@heartsonacake Why the need to be so aggressive? Can't you understand that not everyone is tough as old boots?

SubordinateThatClause I’m not being aggressive. And no, not everyone is or even needs to be “as tough as old boots”, but they do need to be able to cope with day to day life and get through without becoming upset at words on a screen from a random stranger.

If they can’t, they most certainly shouldn’t be bringing up children. How can you parent responsibly when you lack resilience? This is the reason we have so many snowflake types in the world today, because parents aren’t teaching their children how to cope in the real world.

It’s not about aggression, it’s not about being tough, it’s about coping with the everyday. Too many people can’t do that and expect everyone else around them to change.

hearts the point is that someone who is already mentally fragile, who has turned to MN for support and reassurance, could very easily be tipped over the edge by some of the aggressive and unkind posts you see on here, particularly when it turns into a pile-on. You may be find with it, and that's great, but it doesn't make you a better or stronger person.

And do you think Caroline Flack needed to build some resilience?

This 👆🏼

It’s not about aggression, it’s not about being tough, it’s about coping with the everyday. Too many people can’t do that and expect everyone else around them to change

I completely agree.

Caroline Flack had been charged with assault related to DV and had been told the Crown were persuing it as she'd chosen to plead not guilty and the Crown felt they had sufficient evidence to proceed to trial .Which everyone close to her said contributed to her suicide on that day.

It's really inappropriate to suggest a comparison between that and anything on MN.

NewYearNewJob123

Absolutely. And if she'd been a man no one would be telling everyone to #be kind.

Yes, and right now many people are fearing the loss of jobs, homes, livelihoods, loved ones, potentially their own lives, wondering how they will feed their kids, a whole host of problems of similar magnitude.

I'm not looking to get into the male/female debate about DV, just pointing out that using a dead celebrity charged with a serious crime and then killing themselves because of it really isn't equitable to someone thinking people are mean on MN.

It's a crass, incorrect suggestion and minimising Caroline Flacks situation at the time of her suicide.

This whole global pandemic thing has given a lot of people an opportunity to give others a real kicking, verbally, whilst pretending that it's because they are actually oh so civic minded and compassionate and care so much about others. It's very unpleasant to see.

@NewYearNewJob123 In the normal run of things you'd be right, but right now lots and lots of people are facing immense, unprecedented stress and fear. And the responses they're getting on MN (which many people do view as a primary support network) are quite a bit more than just 'mean'.

Of course the two situations aren't identical, but imo they're not so different that a comparison can't be drawn.