Are Any Stately Home Children Considering Reinitiating Contact?

[IronW]

I've been no contact with my emotionally abusive mother for 4 years. It has been essential to my wellbeing. Given the recent pandemic, I am considering reaching out.

What is it that makes you want to reach out?

It crossed my mind too for half a second. I don't wish ill on them but I can't deal with them iykwim

I think it's the worry of her dying.

I would reach out but: I'm not in the 4 tops
And phones and email work two ways.

Fuck em.

Fuck no! Mine actually wrote to me (I'm in Spain) under the guise of worrying about me and CV, but I'm not getting in touch. Fuck that.

I probably would be if I hadn't had a recent chance encounter with them that made me certain NC was the best and only choice. 4 years NC here too.

It's really hard, but ultimately you need to remind yourself of all the reasons you went NC and remember that those reasons won't change just because of the current situation.

Absolutely not. I did think about this the other day. My mother will be revelling in this health crisis.

No.

Not a chance. I would like to tell her what I think, not that it would make the slightest difference other than give her yet another opportunity to be a martyr. I have come to terms with the fact that I do not have to like or communicate with her just because she gave birth to me.

I'm not on the Stately Home threads but am NC with my parents. I do feel slightly guilty but I'm not going to reach out. I've given then chances to reconcile in the fairly recent past and they've behaved very badly in response. I don't think any good could come of reaching out again.

It works both ways. Have any of the NC parents got in touch to see that we are OK and the DGC?

I've been NC with my father for 17 years - it didnt even occur to me to reach out 😳

No

My mother is a narcissist and drains the life from me. I'm not nc and had said I'd visit just before Easter. Sometimes it's 6 months between visits but I do phone every week. I'm not disappointed that I have the perfect excuse not to visit. However she isn't self isolating and she and her chums continue to meet up. She's 83 and has never heeded advice once in her life. She drove my grandparents to absolute distraction.

Absolutely not! In what way would the current difficult situation be made better by having someone like that in it?

I'm not NC with mine, and it's flipping hard. Don't undo the steps you took to keep yourself safe at a time when you are more than usually vulnerable.

It works both ways. Have any of the NC parents got in touch to see that we are OK and the DGC
Mine has, but a totally asinine email, minimal effort. No apology. And our last contact was basically me saying, if you want to be in contact, "this" is what I'm hurt about, if you want to apologise we can move on from there.
And I know exactly how it will go if I get in touch.