Not living with partner?

[Movingon2]

Do you think it is the wrong thing to do to visit each other at respective homes/stay the night. If so it could mean 3 months no physical contact 😔.

What is it about self isolation that you don't get?

EVERYONE needs to understand that they need to have minimal contact with people outside their home. Work from home unless you are a key worker. One person goes out weekly for food or you order online.
No visits to other peoples houses
No playdates
No pubs/restaurants/gym/cinema etc
Teens & children stay in all the time

Everytime someone goes out unnecessarily they put themselves, their household, everyone they have contact with & key workers at risk. That will be the KEY WORKERS WHO WILL KEEP YOU ALIVE WHEN YOU GET CORONAVIRUS FROM BEHAVING IRRESPONSIBLY.

I am fed up with people thinking it doesnt apply to them. I have to go to work because my profession is classified as key workers.

You have no idea how stressful this is
You have no idea how awful it is to wonder if you'll be able to buy food because while you're at work all the hoarders have cleared the shelves in the shops
You have no idea how hard it is to keep bright and upbeat at work

I'm confused about what parents who share custody should do too - we live within walking distance and obviously if either of us becomes ill ds will be isolated with the other one unless he also has symptoms but I haven't seen any mention of this yet. Stbxh is self-employed in a a key industry and I'm also on the list but can work from home, although I'm autistic so can't cope with homeschooling and working... I guess if we isolate then it's the same as when we all lived together since we both live alone when ds isn't with each of us?

To be fair we’re not in complete self isolation yet although I do agree with the sentiment.

I am in self isolation because I have a heart condition and my partner doesn’t live locally. So if he were to come here then he is travelling on public transport and not only risking bringing it to me but taking it back to work if he picks it up on the way. Therefore we have decided that he will be staying away for the foreseeable future. It’s not ideal but it is what it is.

@Stripeydeckchair your response is harsh. Of course people should be following the guidelines but OP was simply asking the question, not saying she’s going to ignore advice and do what she wants anyway.

Also, what do you suggest people do who have joint custody with their children’s other parent? Do they just pick one and not see the other for 3 months? It won’t be happening with mine anyway.

Do you think it is the wrong thing to do to visit each other at respective homes/stay the night. If so it could mean 3 months no physical contact 😔.

I told my partner on Wed that I didn’t think we should come and stay with him as he’s still working, and I am high risk.

It, I think, was the right thing to do.

He didn’t think so and has completely blown up at me and thinks I am being ridiculous and panicking and selfish. I thought he would see that it was safer and would prioritise my health. He thinks I’m a selfish, backtracking lying cunt.

Shrug.

But no, the point is to break the chain. Stop the links between people, stop the virus. So no, no visits. I had plans to make us more connected virtually.

I think it’s harder with kids though. I guess depends on the circumstances. If both households are self isolating in the same way and can walk/use car, it’s pretty straightforward. But very tough choices all round atm.

Of course you should feel free to visit your partner, and I think it's outrageous of anyone to suggest otherwise. Yes, one of you may contract the virus (while out working or shopping, for example) and pass it on to the other - you each need to consider that risk. I bet those who live with their partner and any children are not strictly isolating each family member. (Although I suspect many on MN would quite happily lock their man in the shed for 3 months. )

@aarakis then I wouldn't be too fussed about not spending time with him!

Sorry though. A lot of people hurting just now.

Boyfriend and I are still seeing each other - but we’re both WFH and are only travelling between each other’s flats by running, cycling and occasionally driving. I think if you need to use public transport or are also still in contact with lots of other people due to having to work outside your house, it’s a bit different. Why couldn’t one of you move in with the other temporarily? We’ve also considered doing this if we end up in stricter lock down.

@ Arrakis well that will give him three months to get over the fact that it’s over then won’t it? tosser.

I think to be fair to PP, the advice is for people to stay apart where possible and to keep socialising to a minimum.We absolutely are not in lockdown at the moment and so there is realistically no reason for partners to stay apart if they’re not generally mixing with the masses and will just be going from one house to another.

In some instances such as my own and others on here, there is a necessity to stay away from each other, but I think that the idea of separating families for an indefinite amount of time (bearing in mind that three months is only an initial time given as yet) is not reasonable. Equally forcing children to not see their parents and in some instances other siblings is also not reasonable, as long as people are taking precautions.

While we do need to do all we can to limit the spread of this virus, we also need to consider the mental health of the population, and it’s a fine line.

I think visiting your partner is fine.

It's social distancing were practicing, not self isolation. I wish people like Stripey would learn the fucking difference.

Oh it’s so hard isn’t it? Some of these comments make me think I’ve been unreasonable with my partner. Though I still think his reaction has sucked. I thought about it and if he’d been the one at high risk and asked me to keep away because I was working, I’d have been sad but accepted it and carried on stiff upper lip style, not raged and then gone silent.