Which wedding should we attend?

[poccadot]

DP's sister, who we are fairly close too (see most weeks), was meant to be getting married next weekend but due to COVID-19 it has been postponed to the summer.

We have already RSVP'd and booked a non-refundable hotel for my Uncle's wedding on the same date as DP's sister's new wedding. We are not as close to the Uncle and only see the him a couple of times a year as he lives a few hours away.

Now we're unsure what to do. We have a 5 month old DS so would ideally like to both go to the same wedding as there is a fairly long drive involved for one of the weddings. Do we tell my Uncle we can no longer attend his wedding or do we tell DP's sister that we can't make her new wedding date?

When in the summer? As neither might go ahead, unfortunately.

Beginning of August. We're currently using the idea that neither may go ahead as a reason to avoid making a decision just yet.

It’s a tough one. If you’ve agreed to go to your Uncle’s I think you have to. If your SIL was that close she should have checked the date with you first.

That's our thinking at the moment too. I think they didn't check because it was the only other date their venue could offer them

I would go to your sils wedding. She is immediate family. I don't think anyone will be offended as I think with the current crisis peoples plans will change all the time and I'm sure your uncle will understand. With the way things are right now you can't be sure the weddings will go ahead so I wouldn't stress over it .

There is no way you can ask your OH to miss their own sibling's wedding for the wedding of a family member you don't care much about.

SIL’s, no question. Plenty of time for the uncle to amend numbers, and any reasonable person would understand.

Sils wedding. If I was in your uncles position I’d completely understand. It can’t be helped

I wouldn't understand my wedding being bumped off for a better offer. You shoyld either honor your original acceptance or one of you go to each wedding. Poor form to tell your uncle you aren't going now. If you aren't close and it's a long drive then why were you bothering in the first place.

I think we'd both rather attend SIL's but I can't face telling someone that we've basically had a better offer

You attend your uncles wedding and let your DP go to his sisters.

Your DP can’t miss his sisters wedding so I think you either go to one each or both go to SILs wedding. I feel like I would understand someone accepting then pulling out for this reason. How likely is your uncle to be understanding of your predicament and forgive you having to pull out?

Its not a "better offer" its simply more important, and your uncle should understand that. One of my uni mates RSVPed yes to our wedding and then didnt come because his brother booked the same date. We were sorry he couldn't come but we completely understood why he didn't!

It's not a "better offer" at all. It's an immediate family member having to reschedule due to the current situation.