What to do about elderly person

[Stroller15]

Last year November, it was snowing here and around 10pm, DH and I drove past an elderly man walking home from Sainsbury's with his bags. I would guess he is around 80 years old. I told DH to stop and offer him a lift which he luckily accepted. He lived about 15 mins drive away from where we picked him up, no idea how long it would have taken him to walk there in the snow!

Now today, we were very worried about him with everything going on so we decided to check on him. Luckily, we remembered where he lives. We went there this morning and DH went to speak to him. The person in the flat below him said she lived there for 16 years and the elderly man lived there for longer and they probably spoke only once. Anyway, he remembered us and the lift from November. DH didn't go inside, only spoke to him from outside - offered help, offered the spare groceries we packed, offered him DH's phone number to call if there is anything - he doesn't want any help whatsoever.

Should we just leave it or send a card with DH's number if he changes his mind? I do want to respect his wishes, I'm just not sure how much support he has.

If he has said no then you should respect that although it is a kind idea to leave your number and maybe print out the phone numbers of your local support groups and pop them through the door.

No. He’s elderly, not incompetent, and entitled to make his own decisions. Maybe he has family or friends to help him out but hasn’t asked yet; maybe he doesn’t think getting Coronavirus would be the end of the world. It was kind of you to think of him but it would be patronising and interfering to keep persisting once he’s refused your help.

What lovely people you and your husband are! You don't know his situation, if I were in your shoes I would definitely pop your number through his door with a little note along the lines of "in case anything changes..." 🙂 That's being supportive, he knows you're there if he does need some help in the forthcoming weeks.