Too scared for AIBU..

[Unknown2020]

So basically this is sister and coronavirus related, it could also be long but I’ll try to keep it simple..

I also fully accept if IBU

My sister works on a hospital ward which has recently just confirmed they have cases of coronavirus. We have all been busy and haven’t seen her in a few weeks. She was due to come round yesterday as she now has time off, to see myself and 3 young children. I am also early pregnant.

She messaged me the day before that to confirm she was coming. I politely messaged back and said maybe we should hold off as I was concerned about her being exposed to it on her ward and think cancelling the visit was the most sensible thing to do.

I have since then received uncalled for and nasty messages and calls from her that I’m being too paranoid and over the top. She had said that we could catch it from anyone without knowing they were carrying it and I can’t keep everyone locked up until it dies down..

We are not self isolating but I’m being cautious and not making trips out unless absolutely necessary.

Also not to drip feed but I am diagnosed with OCD, so I’m not sure if it’s just me blowing it out of proportion?

You've made the right decision. Yes you can catch it off anyone without knowing, but why knowingly increase the risk of catching it? Your sister should know better.

I think you are very sensible to ask her not to come especially being pregnant. I'm afraid I think your sister is the unreasonable one and considering she works in health care should know better.

If I was pregnant and had 3 young children I would avoid illness if possible and not just CV, I can’t imagine the sleepless nights involved with 3 kids all unwell at the same time. Your not paranoid, your sensible.

Thank you.

I was in tears over this earlier (stupid pregnancy hormones!)

I just think it’s better to be safe than sorry. Yes I could nip to the shop and come into contact with someone carrying it fully unaware, but I don’t think it can be compared to this situation.

It can be compared to the situation OP, she is totally right that you have no idea of the risks or who you are encountering, unless you actually self isolate, you will be encountering people who have very likely been exposed to it regardless and this will continue to be the case in increasing numbers as the weeks roll on.

How recent is the confirmed cv19 on her ward? If it has been more than two weeks and she has no symptoms then what is the logic? Are you going to avoid her until 2021 because she works in a hospital? Are you also refusing to see anyone else who has been to any large scale event or hospital (and indeed how would you even know, if they were in the supermarket).

There is no known additional risk for women in pregnancy, and young children are unlikely to be seriously affected at all. I would try to direct your concern towards the elderly and existing unwell and plan your movements to protect them, rather than fixate on yourself and your DC who would be statistically unlikely to be made dangerously unwell by this.

Obviously you're not being unreasonable to so whatever you like here, it is up to individual choice at the end of the day, have you explained to her that your OCD is causing anxiety? Are you diagnosed?. I would smooth it over with her OP, she is correct in what she is saying and wants to see her family. If you disagree you don't have to see her but I would arrange a Skype call, send a parcel from the kids etc- she is doing a very difficult job right now, for the sake of others regardless of risk.

@dontgobaconmyheart - It was confirmed 4 days ago, so shouldn’t she be isolating herself for 14 days?

We don’t have family or friends close by other than sister anyway so we wouldn’t be having visitors or mixing. We are very much just keeping ourselves to ourselves.

Yes I am diagnosed.

You made the right decision, your sister will eventually realise that so don't fret too much about it. I expect she feels fully stretched as one of the people who is expected to carry on regardless which resulted in her unpleasantness - but she didn't really mean it.

Take heart .

I wouldn’t see her. My sister has a cough (no confirmed contact) and I’m not seeing her.
I imagine your sister is reacting partly through stress. I’d be terrified in her position.

I would have done the same OP as you OP. Why expose yourself to a high risk individual unnecessarily? Let the young healthy non-pregnant individuals who don't have 3 children to look after form the ranks for Boris' herd immunity.

I agree with @dontgobaconmyheart