How to stop being a Negative Nancy

[Goostacean]

No offence to any Nancies on here! I’m told that I’m always very negative. Tendency to complain, whinge, not see the bright side... pretty much constantly, although I don’t notice myself doing it. But I have so many happy memories of things that DH says I grumbled about constantly at the time (and I believe him!).

How to stop? Short of just not speaking!

I do often feel down, worried, see problems with things. Depression? Could ADs help?

I am like this and no matter how much I try to ‘train’ myself to think and see things differently I just can’t

Oh dear... anyone else? Stories of hope?

I think it takes deliberate training to reframe thoughts. I did CBT for anxiety and depression that taught me to do this.

For example, with a two hour flight delay. I reframe it as I have more time to read my book, and think if what I'm looking forward to on my trip or when I get home.

It takes practice.

I'm not outwardly negative, but I have really helped myself recently

to 1 - write once a week what happened in the previous 7 days that I'm grateful for

2 - Every time I am experiencing something sub optimal to ask myself "What can I learn from this". Sometimes I'm cross in traffic, and I learn patience, retrace my steps on leaving the door to work out what time I should have left and how. Sometimes when I lose my patience with the kids when I think on it I try and learn from it than beat myself up.

Both of these require regular work, but they work for me.