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Original poster

Advice on writing a will as a mother

39 replies

blinkowl · 15/03/2020 20:10

Been putting off writing a will for ages which is stupid, I know.

I'm with the father of my DC. We're not married. 2 DC.

I own the house, it's solely in my name and owned outright, no mortgage. I have relatively large debts. No savings.

If I died, DP would probably move want to back to his hometown with the DC I would imagine.

Is there any way I can leave the house (or the money from the house after debts) to the kids but for DP to be able to use it to buy a house for them all to live in?

Is this a reasonable thing to do? I'm conscious that if I died having left everything to DP and he marries someone, my money wouldn't be passed on to my DC. The only way I can prevent this is to leave it to them, right?

Also, what if we both died? If I write who I'd like to look after the DC in my will, does anyone pay any attention to that?

Thanks.

OP posts:
ElizabethinherGermanGarden · 15/03/2020 20:16

Yes, you can easily do that. Do get a solicitor to sort it for you, though. It should be straightforward for a professional.

vingt · 15/03/2020 20:16

You need a solicitor who can do a trust for you.

user1497207191 · 15/03/2020 20:18

Yes, pretty common scenario - use a life interest will trust - property goes to your partner initially to live in, and then to your child. As others have said, use a good solicitor. Don't try to do it yourself.

TrophyCat · 15/03/2020 20:22

Go via a solicitor. A good one will talk you though various scenarios

A):what happens is you die ---> money goes to DC (what age do they get access to the funds can be stipulated as well - it's not always sensible to give an 18 year old a massive lump sum)

B) what if you and your partner die (who do you nominate guardianship of your DC to? )

C) what if you and your whole family get wipes out in a car crash - who does the house go to then?

AnotherEmma · 15/03/2020 20:22

You need a will writer. I recommend Marlow Wills, she's a mumsnetter (Mumblechum) and is excellent. She can talk it all through with you over the phone, it doesn't have to be in person.

AutumnCrow · 15/03/2020 20:24

I would do a very simple will now in which you leave your entire estate to your children in equal shares. Sign it and get that witnessed by two people. Give a copy to a trusted person. (My DC have always known about my will and where it is.)

Then go and see a solicitor about the slightly more complicated wishes involving your DP, as that may involve some form of trust which could be depleted quite quickly.

You're right - you need to protect your DC.

AutumnCrow · 15/03/2020 20:26

'go and see a solicitor ' - yes, Marlow Wills are highly recommended and can do it via phone / email

iMatter · 15/03/2020 20:29

Yes you can

However you absolutely must take proper legal advice and not under any circumstances rely on randoms on MN

I have seen so much bad/inaccurate/wrong advice on here recently

Protect yourself and, more importantly, your kids, by taking proper legal advice

Original poster
blinkowl · 15/03/2020 20:29

If I just leave the money to my DC, that'll leave DC homeless though, won't it?

I assume that as I have debts, they'll be taken off the estate won't they?

So if I die in the next couple of months, then that'd force the sale of the house wouldn't it?

That's not as catastrophic as it might sound as DP would likely want to move the DC to his hometown anyway if they were grieving, to be near family and old friends etc.

I wouldn't want to see them on the streets!

How can I leave the money so DP can buy a property with it but it has to pass to the DC, not a future new wife (or whatever else that's not the DC).

OP posts:
bluebluezoo · 15/03/2020 20:29

I’ve done this.

My house goes to dc. But dh has a “life interest”- he can live in the house until he dies/remarries/chooses not to. So the dc can’t kick him out.

That includes being able to sell it and buy another. Any profit goes straight to the dc.

Mumblechum0 · 15/03/2020 20:31

@anotherEmma Thanks for the recommendations. @blinkowl, you should be thinking about a Life Interest Trust, there's an article on the website which explains the purpose and procedure: www.marlowwills.co.uk.

RandomMess · 15/03/2020 20:31

Another one recommending Marlow Wills she is brilliant.

Original poster
blinkowl · 15/03/2020 20:32

Thanks for the responses and suggestions :)

Thanks AutumnCrow, I know Mumblechum exists and I've heard she's great but not sure I can afford her.

I can't afford a solicitor right now. No way. We're really skint. I need to find out what format it needs to be in then see if I can get a cheap online way to do it or something. I'm hoping if it's straightforward and something lots of people do then it should be doable that way?

Or maybe find a solicitor doing a free wills promotion.

OP posts:
Original poster
blinkowl · 15/03/2020 20:33

luebluezoo really helpful, thanks. That's the term I needed.

Really glad to hear this is a common thing to do. Should be easy to sort out then, I hope.

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 15/03/2020 20:34

Your will writer will advise, but I think you need to leave it in a trust and stipulate that the money can be used for your DP to purchase a home to live in with the DCs until the youngest turns 21 (or 25 or whatever you want) and then at that point the trust is wound down and money is split between DCs, which essentially means that your DP would have to buy out the trust's share in the property or sell his home.

How much debt are we talking?

Do you have life insurance?

Theyweretheworstoftimes · 15/03/2020 20:34

Legal advice. It's worth the money you pay. Get it all documented

AnotherEmma · 15/03/2020 20:35

Oh lots of cross posts!

Original poster
blinkowl · 15/03/2020 20:36

Mumblechum0 great to see you here, thanks for joining the thread.

I think I can't afford you but still interested to know rates just in case. I do know enough about wills to know that it they're badly drawn up (eg online ones), you never find out, it's your grieving family who have to deal with it isn't it? But I really am skint so having to examine all options.

Perhaps I can ask my mum to buy me a will for my birthday (not even joking).

OP posts:
Original poster
blinkowl · 15/03/2020 20:39

I think I may have life insurance with the buildings insurance but I'm not sure. Perhaps I'm confused with the old mortgage (now paid off).

House is worth about £230k. Debt is about £20k. You can buy a small house in DP's hometown for £200k.

OP posts:
Peasfox · 15/03/2020 20:40

Wills are more complex than they look. You would risk having an invalidated will doing it yourself but I understand why you would want to. Just be really careful.

I am a solicitor who doesn’t specialise in wills and probate and I have done our own wills. They are very basic and basic is my limit! No life interests etc.

Hope you find what you need online!

AnotherEmma · 15/03/2020 20:44

I know this wasn't your question but if you want debt/budgeting advice, Citizens Advice are generally very good. Money Saving Expert has lots of brilliant advice too and a helpful forum.

I do think it's worth paying for a good Will writer (which is usually a bit cheaper than a solicitor).

Having said that March is Free Wills Month, might only cover simple wills though and not trusts.

AnotherEmma · 15/03/2020 20:46

Sorry free wills month is for 55+ only, you might be younger?

Are you a union member? Some unions include will writing as a benefit.

AuditAngel · 15/03/2020 20:47

Ask for an estimate of costs to get the will drawn up properly. Getting it wrong could be very expensive.

Mumblechum0 · 15/03/2020 20:53

@blinkowl,
Single standard will is £200
Pair of standard wills is £300
Adding a Life Interest Trust is an additional £100.

All fees are exempt from VAT.

I'm booked solidly till April, so you wouldn't be billed till May anyway if that helps 😊

BettyIsMyFavouriteSquirrel · 15/03/2020 20:57

OP I deal with Wills for a living, you can’t afford not to get this type of Will written professionally, it needs a specific type of wording and a home made will is likely to cause more problems than it solves.