Anyone with older DC who had epic tantrums as toddlers - how do they behave when older?

[BriefDisaster]

DD is 3 and has the most epic tantrums over the slightest little thing.

Yes I know it's normal for toddlers to tantrum but these are next level. It affects out family life and has done since she was born (she was a very clingy and needy baby). My eldest (6) had his moments but was generally happy to just go with the flow but DD can melt down over anything and is so unpredictable.

We had some success with time outs but after a few weeks it got worse. She is well behaved at nursery but often will melt down about going in the morning and from what I can gather it is because they don't do everything her way there and whislt she won't have a melt down about it for them she will save her frustrations up for me the next morning.

I worry about that it will never end. She is very sweet otherwise. Very clever and creative.

Has anyone come out the other end with nice calm kids?

DD2 was a nightmare from 2-5. She was such hard work. Limiting choices and picking battles helped. Also leaving her to scream it out on her bed whilst pottering about in her room, she often went to sleep after.

She's still stubborn and picky over her friends, but lovely and kind too.

13yo dd threw epic tantrums, she's generally okay now but we realised when she was around 6yo that she has significant sensory processing difficulties. She is also being assessed for ASD.

Her behaviour as a toddler makes a lot of sense with the benefit of hindsight.

Unfortunately not, diagnosed with autism at 5.

Ds1 was a dream child no tantrums no teenage sulks. His now 30 and has recently returned home after a break up. He is a nightmare attention seeking. Ds2 was horrible, at his 3rd birthday party opened a gift that he already had threw the most epic tantrum. My husband put him into the car and we were standing outside saying goodbye to guests and he was trying to kick the windows in. Now the kindest most gentle young man ever. It does get better op

Feel like perhaps I was too smug about how well behaved DS was (which was obvs my great parenting and not at all blind luck of course!). Have sure been brought down off my high horse with DD!

I get you, OP

DS is payback child, the universe balancing out, if you will. He popped out and yelled for half an hour, which set the tone for his early years.

Sadly for him, he seems to have my personality

At six, he’s very much better than he was, though. Onwards and upwards.

At 2 and 3 DD had the worst tantrums: screaming, throwing herself on the floor, biting for 30-45 minutes at a go. Never in school though. They stopped by 4, maybe earlier. She is the sweetest, calmest, funniest, most caring girl now at 12 (she was then too, between tantrums).

Absolute nightmare, sweetest thing and then raging monster. He is now older and known for being calm and kind. Positive reinforcement, breathing technics and firmness got us here.

DDS tantrums were / are the stuff of family legend. She was horrific 😳 hate to say it but as an adult she's still stroppy and highly strung.

Luckily the second birthling was my zen like ds. Probably because all of my time was taken up with DD. He's an adult now and still a lovely, calm soul