I’ve been a single mum for years, I don’t get any help from my children’s dad and my family live hours away so I only see them a couple of times a year as none of us drive and we’re not particularly close.
I have 2 good friends I speak to daily and tend to vent my problems and worries to them a lot as I have no one else to talk to. I’ve started to feel that maybe they’re fed up with hearing my moaning so I’ve tried to avoid speaking about any of it (I have a lot of stress going on and it helps to say it out to someone). They do also vent to me about any issues they have and I try my best to help them in return. I can’t afford therapy and waiting lists will be ridiculously long so that isn’t an option. I just feel guilty I rely on them both for emotional and mental support to keep me going. Sometimes I won’t hear from one of them for a week when I’ve started talking about something going on so I hold back more as I feel like she’s sick of hearing it and it makes me feel awkward and annoyed with myself when we next see each other. My other friend said it’s fine and she’s always there to listen which makes me feel worse as she expects it and rarely speaks about her life to make sure I’m ok. I feel lost as I genuinely have no one else to open up to and I work from home so I don’t meet anyone and I don’t like getting close to people I don’t know very well. They’ve both been friends since childhood.
Is there anything I can do differently to take the pressure off? I want us to chat about normal things and have fun which we do but not as often and I don’t want them to feel like carers when I have yet another crisis. I’m worried one day they’ll just ghost me to get me out of their lives. Can anyone relate?
Please be gentle I know I’m being a crappy friend.