Feel like worst mum and can’t sleep

[2004pickle]

I have to start by saying I have bad anxiety and recently treated for ptsd. One of the worst issues was worrying people would think I’m a bad person/ bad mum. In reality I’m actually quite a good mum and I think a good person - anxiety is cruel.

Last night I decided to let my mature and witty 14 year old watch Love Actually as I think it’s hilarious. I had every intention of skipping a couple of the later scenes which were sexual but I’d forgotten about the ‘sex scene’ with the stand in actors. I turned it off at that point and said I’d have to rewatch it before they could watch it and possibly wait until they were older as there was too much to censor. DC loved it up to that point and I don’t think that scene scarred them for life, BUT I now feel like the worst mum- irresponsible and like I’ve exposed them to a film that’s far too grown up. It was the first 15 I’ve let them watch and I’m normally really cautious.
What can I say to them tomorrow to make it better?

Also I had 2 glasses of wine last night and I rarely drink so feel even more guilty as I feel my judgment was impaired I hate being this anxious but also feel really irresponsible

I think you’re overreacting, it’s Love Actually and your child is 14. My child is 15 and from I hear about what kids watch online then Love Actually is quite harmless. At a click of a button online they can watch the most graphic porn, not to mention apps like TikTok etc etc etc.

Firstly I'm sorry to hear you're suffering with anxiety and ptsd. I hope you're treatment is effective and you recover well.

I haven't watched love actually for a very long time and therefore don't remember the sex scene but I think you're over thinking it. It is possible your DC has been exposed to more revealing things from school and their peers. You say yourself that they are mature at 14 and within the year they could "legally" watch the film anyway.

Personally I think you need to stop beating yourself up with this and realise you're not a bad mum for letting them watch a film and then switching it off.

What you can say to make it better is that you'll check through the rest of the film and get some snacks in (out whatever you do) and you'll re-watch the film with them again. If you really don't think it is appropriate then pick another film which you think is.

Thank you so much for replying and I think I’m the morning I’ll feel like I’ve overreacted. Everything seems so much worse at night and I can’t stop worrying. I’m going to try to sleep now and thank you for making me feel less alone.

I personally think you haven't done anything wrong.

I use the following website when assessing films to watch with my daughter.

www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/love-actually

As you can see, parents think this film is better for 16+ and kids think 14+

Maybe in future, have a little check of the above website and it will give you some guidance.

please don't worry. The fact you are concerned about being a good mum shows that you are a good mum.

I really wouldn’t worry she probably knows more than think.

@Ribenaberriesgowoo82 I normally look at that website as I have younger dc and I’m very careful. That’s why I felt so bad as the younger ones were in bed, I’d had a very rare couple of glasses of wine, we were talking about funny films and I spontaneously said ‘let’s watch LA’.
I feel less guilty and have more perspective this morning.

Thank you all so much for commenting x