NC for this as I may have family on here and don't want this linked to my regular posts. Sorry it's so long, trying to get all the info in
Right now my head's a mess. I'm suffering from an injury which has for the past 6 months restricted what I can do, work, travel, everything. It appears to be getting worse rather than better.
My Father is disabled and housebound. My mother doesn't drive so normally I do a lot of running around for them, weekly shop etc. Mum helps with childcare, mainly school pick ups when I'm late finishing work and the odd overnight if I'm working late and it's too late for DD. This has stopped recently as Dad is in high risk group so we're keeping him as isolated as possible
Partner is also disabled and cannot really travel without me. We have an 8 year old. DP also has an 18 yr old daughter who lives in DPs home city to be near her nan. We live approx 140 miles away. DPs daughter has visited regularly and is always welcome. We have asked her to live with us multiple times, but she wants to stay near to other family and friends.
So right now I'm struggling with daily activity. Have been sent home from work as my injury seems to be getting aggravated when at work. Only allowed to drive short distances, having trouble with personal care like brushing and washing my hair. Worried to death about Dad in particular given the pandemic, and trying to keep him as isolated as possible including from DD as he's high risk, so unable to help Mum as much.
We got a call on Friday saying that partner's Daughter is in a really bad place. But she's not responding to her dad when he messages. And now partner's mum is insisting that he drops everything and goes to her. We have done this before when she's been feeling down (bad relationship with her mum) however this time I cannot drive him there, she is refusing to come to us, I have no childcare for DD as Mum can't have her because we're trying to keep high risk Dad safe so we can't travel down together by public transport.
DP has autism and mobility issues,gets PIP and has a blue badge as he finds public transport too overwhelming and gets meltdowns if he travels alone, and can only walk for short distances.
Partner's mum is fuming at me as I can't drive him up. I know that he needs to see her but can't see how we can facilitate this. Again she's more than welcome to come to us and stay for as long as she wants, but is refusing to talk to anyone except her nan and will only talk face to face. DPs mum is texting me constantly saying I need to find a way to sort this out. My anxiety is sky high and my partner is telling me not to worry and we can only do what we can, but it seems that his mum is trying to guilt trip me about this when I physically can't do what she wants right now. She knows about his disability, but seems to think that he can overcome it at will, which he can't.
Not that it's relevant but dp and his daughters mum broke up when she was two, I didn't meet him til she was 5, he paid until he was declared disabled and only receiving pip and her mum won't facilitate conversation with either of us. Also his mum has told me that I should pay for things for his daughter as "I knew her had a kid when I met him" We do pay for things she needs, laptops and clothes for college when she went, but she then dropped out and now she's 18 and has a job we've scaled back a bit.
I do pay her bus pass each month but that's all I can afford as I only work part time as I'm his carer.