Does self harm really harm anyone?

[ThePenIsBlue]

I often have urges to cut my arms. I used to as a teenager, and have occasionally as an adult. When I’m down or feeling terribly low or drunk, I want to do it. Sometimes I do. I don’t have any scars (bar one) so I’m probably just scratching even though it bleeds and I have marks for a couple of weeks. Is this really a problem? Does it matter? I’m not hurting anyone, it’s a way for me to get my emotions out. I know the “normal” reaction from people will be “this isn’t normal, you need help.” But I am failing to see who it’s really hurting. Isn’t it like people that pour a big glass of wine after a tough day? I don’t do it as often as they’d do that!

I just feel like a “freak” and someone that has something really wrong with them......

...its hurting you and you count! All it takes is a shamy hand or you to misjudge while drunk and you could do serious damage.

I was like you at 19 - when really low or really drunk I'd hurt myself, and it was always just little scratches that didn't scar, until the one night i wasn't paying proper attention to what i was doing and nicked an artery and almost bled to death.

Please, there are better ways, you need to get help.

*shaky

What is the thought behind it? If it’s anything that is related to suicide, then acting on the urges crosses a line and puts you more at risk.

Isn't self harm the conversion of mental pain to physical pain?
It's understandable but not healthy.
You are not a freak. You are a person in pain. So please don't reject the idea of help.

Do you want to stop?

I've SH'ed for over 15 years, so I do understand where you're coming from. You matter, and you deserve to feel better.

It does when you 15 year old best friend, accidentally cuts herself too deep and dies from the cut and you spend the next 29 years seeing her mum drowning in guilt and grief and her younger sisters suffering through their mums grief.

I chose to move away as it hurts me so much to watch see her mum a shadow of her former self.

Sorry l know it’s not what you want to hear.

It doesn’t harm anyone else but you are hurting yourself.

Do you know why you do it? People self harm for various reasons.

ThePenIsBlue

Yes, it is.

You’re not a freak. You sound as though you need an outlet to release hurt. I would suggest a punching bag, even an inflatable one. You can hurt it as much as you want and it will just come back for more until you’re done. It gives you a workout at the same time.

Sounding off on here is a better alternative too.

Keep strong 👍🏽

My DB’s teenage self harming hurt me because I was a couple of years younger, didn’t understand and was scared. It hurt my parents so much more though.

If i get a really bad 'low', i still get the urge too. I used to explain it to my oh like some people punch walls or shout when theyre upset, thats my outlet. Its a very rare occasion though, and like yours, probably more a scratch, i try to hide it but oh sees me undressing or showering at least once a day so its pretty hard.

I’m sorry you are feeling low and I’d encourage you to talk to friends and family and reach out to others.

I think it does hurt you and could lead to you feeling worse and lower. And you matter.

We are a community and it is not good for a community to have people hurting and suffering. Everyone has something to offer the community and if they are feeling low and can’t do that then the community misses out on their involvement. Do you see yourself as being part of a family, social group, community?

It hurts you. Your mind is trying to tell you something, you need to address the underlying issues. It might not cause physical problems (though you could get an infection or go deeper than you intend) but it's damaging you relationship with yourself.

Get some help from a counsellor to work out what's going on. In the meantime, putting ice on the skin can be a less risky thing to help deal with the urge. Hurts a bit but won't damage you.

It hurts you and that hurt can continue for years after the self harm has stopped

I know the feeling. I have the same argument that it doesn't affect anyone else, it hurts me and that's what I want so it's ok. My self-harm recently returned after years and years. What I am doing now doesn't scar and doesn't cause any long-term harm to me, it gets me through the day. I have told one person, because I had to admit to myself that it was spiralling out of control, and her reaction was the best I could have hoped for. I can't offer any advice because the advice is ask for help and that is something I find incredibly difficult, but you are not a freak, I think there are a lot more of us out there doing this but no one talks about it. We are dealing with difficult things in a difficult and not-ideal way, it doesn't mean there is 'something really wrong with you', it just means you could probably do with help to work out a different way to deal with things, which I know is an absolutely terrifying thought.

It hurt me when dd did it. We've found a way round it. Tattoos for her are a legitimate form of self harm.