Does your child do martial arts? Come tell me about it please

[NotExactlyHappyToHelp]

DS went to a trial of a self defence course tonight. They teach a mix of martial arts. He enjoyed the moves and learning but it was a bit tough love for him. Lots of shouting. Great for some but not for him.

I’m wanting some ideas for what might suit him better but I’m baffled as there’s so much choice.

My Dad does Wado Ryu Karate but DS doesn’t want to do that exact style as my DDad will get a bit overexcited.

Could you tell me what your child does and why they enjoy it please?

All decent martial arts classes are 'a bit tough love'. Any that don't involve shouting are what we call mcdojos and don't produce good students. I'd say taekwondo is less strict than karate, MMA and kickboxing though.

My son does karate, he’s 8 and was a very very shy boy. He still is but it has helped his confidence quite a bit. I’d say go for it.

My kids do a mixed martial arts class, do you mean the instructors or the students were shouting?

There's a karate class on before ours and dear lord the shouting!
If they hit people properly they wouldn't need to shout to tell them they'd done it

They actually most enjoy Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. There's some fitness and agility work, no punching, and the actual martial arts bit is a bit of a mental challenge as well.

@conduitoffortune Thanks I’ll look at taekwondo. I know that a lot of martial arts are very serious endeavours and tough love is par for the course but it isn’t what DS would like.

@AllTheIceCream He’d probably love to do a bit of hollering with the students but this was the instructor. Very drill sergeant. Great for some kids but not mine.

@NotExactlyHappyToHelp it's all down to finding the right club. Ds, dd and I all do Shotokan karate. The club we attend is fantastic, inclusive and family oriented. Not all clubs are the same so it's down to finding the right club more than the right discipline I think.

It is worth trying a different instructor, OP. We tried judo for DS at first but bailed because of the instructor - but I honestly think that was more about the instructor's own personality and teaching style than the specific martial art, if that makes sense.

My DS does karate and his instructor is amazing - commands respect and manages the tough love bit very well without bawling the kids out and is just a really nice guy. He has consistently packed-out classes of children from age 5 to post GCSE age as a result and they all seem to love it.

DS is 15, has asperger syndrome and can find social interaction very challenging - his karate classes (started age 7) have probably been one of the if not the most positive influences on his school life. He gets a huge sense of self-esteem from it and for a child who is not sporty (DS also has dyspraxic traits and struggles with any ball or team sport) it has also really helped with balance, co-ordination and just general fitness.

Both of mine love their jujitsu class.
Dd joined at 5. They have a good mix of warm up, basics like break falls, familiar moves, new moves to learn for the next grading, then a fun race/fight/game at the end.
There is a small amount of shouting, usually if younger kids are messing around!
A good amount of instructors to help the leader. Part of black belt training involves teaching others. Most weeks, there is one black belt teacher to 2 or 4 students. As you work in pairs, it's almost one-to-one lessons!
There is no fixed "time" for gradings. Sensei knows when they are all ready to move up. So grading happens when students are ready. Dd had been there about a month when she got her first belt. And then between 3 -6 months for each one after that.
They have separate classes for kids/adults. Plenty of teenagers from the adult class join in with the kids, they hold the pads so kids can practice kicks without knocking other kids over.
And they all shake hands/hug/bump elbows at the end.

My 12 daughter does kick boxing. Helps her confidence and fitness no end.

The coach never raises his voice. There is a mix of ages and a real family spirit to it.

One class can be overwhelming and can take a couple to get into the swing of it.

I also have a 12yo DD who does kick boxing. No shouting, and coach takes into account DD is quite sensitive. Helps he has daughters that age and younger I think. Definitely child-friendly classes.

My dd does Thai boxing and competes at a high level. Her coach does very little shouting although does expect hard work and respect! My dd loves the physical fitness and competitive nature of the sport.

Brilliant thank you. We will focus on looking at instructors/clubs for the vibe (for want of a better word) that would suit rather than the actual specific martial art.

Really appreciate the advice .

I teach taekwondo, very experienced and qualified. I agree with finding the right instructor. I coach my students without yelling but sometimes will tell them I will act the drill sergeant and coach them through the process! A good instructor should adapt their teaching to the characters in the class. My students respect me because I'm firm and fair.

Just make sure they have good qualifications, insurance, first aid etc.. trial a few classes or even go watch a few. It could/should be a lifestyle investment.

Could be the start of an exciting journey :)

Good luck!

My 6 year old started taekwondo 5months ago. I watched his second grading last week and was really impressed with what hes learnt. Still cant keep his trap shut or sit still but hes been taking it in🤦🏼‍♀️

My 5 and 7 year old do jujitsu. They both love it.

DS (11), DH and I do a weekly class together. It's a mixed code, mostly based on kickboxing. I took part in the taster class when we were looking to find a new activity for DS as he wasn't enjoying football much, and 3 years later I'm still doing it. I'm 44 and not fit, an unlikely-looking attendee. I struggle with some moves and I still fall over now and then, but I love it and I'm so glad I do it. It's been good for DS's confidence. Our sensei is friendly and funny, but man she works us hard

I have trained in multi style martial arts for over 20 years, been teaching for 15. I am strict and teach the traditional Japanese way of shotokan, I raise my voice but don't necessarily shout but the kids know my serious voice. I am teaching an art - not a sport, which includes discipline, no messing about no chatting about football/TV etc when they are in line, show respect etc. To learn the art you should be focused on what you are doing. If he wants to learn real martial arts then that is what it is like.
Some styles are not as strict though but it depends what he wants to learn and how well he wants to do. I have seen clubs that hand out belts for pretty much just turning up, resulting in the"art" being lost- the kids not understanding what they are learning (there is alot of difference between karate and Kung fu, judo and jujitsu) not knowing the difference between a Geri and a zuki. If I hand out a belt it's because they deserve it. They can do the moves, understand the reason why they are doing it, what damage it could do and tell me its traditional name.
Martial arts can be alot of fun, but it is alot of hard work, focus and discipline and yes there are "boring parts" the repetitiveness of learning a kata And perfecting it can drive you insane at times.
I can tell In the first 15mins of a child being in my dojo weather they want to learn or if I am just being used as a baby sitting service.
I hope your son finds what he wants to Do, i still have the same passion I did when I was 12 and first started. And I know my students love it too but it really is not for everyone to take up a traditional style.

I hate it when instructors shout. Tone is everything, you should be able to control a class with the tone of your voice. This applies to any teaching, school or martial arts. These are children and this isn't the army.

You're not going to like this but my children are black belt in Wado Ryu they have been in two different clubs for this. The first one felt like a mcdojo with very sloppy techniques even at grading, lots of graduations with stripes on belts.

We changed to one that was far more precise, better environment, no contract negotiated behind closed doors with no literature available with prices, just pay when you turn up. Fantastic club.

Actually I think it is all about the club's ethos and the instructors approach.
No shouting in Dc's judo club, they are firm but fair and control the class. I think they are brilliant I really do. Judo is very much about respect, tradition, rules and an overall ethos... But that might be the same for many martial arts....

Dd does Shotokan karate. Shes now two belts off black. Wide range of kids and adults. As previous posters have said it's down to the instructor. The sensei at dds dojo is lovely, not shouty, but firm when he needs to be. Shes 13 but trains with the adults now, less fun but the instructor still makes sure everyone learns at their own pace.