Am I right to be angry

[Fabfifty]

My sister in law told me she thinks my university undergraduate son is autistic.
He shows no signs at all, just quiet and reserved, I replied I've never thought so, the more I think about it ,the angrier I feel. Is it justifiable

University is often a haven for people with autism where they meet like minded people who 'get' them.

Why did she feel she had to say anything. If he is and he is coping with life OK why does it matter? Most of us are somewhere on the spectrum anyway.
What experience does she have with autism? Does she think he will get more support if he has a diagnosis or did she just say it because he's not someone she understands
I think I would want to know why she thinks he has autism and why she felt she had to say it.

It isn't an insult to say that. I would have asked why she thinks that, to get an idea of whether she might be right.

Part of my job involves assessing for autism. I have a friend who's ds has clear signs of autism. Thus far I haven't said anything, as I think it might be recieved in the way you are hearing it, like I'm criticising, but I actually want to help.

Most of us are somewhere on the spectrum anyway
That's a really awful and misguided phrase and minimises the struggles autistic people have in their daily lives.

No, most people are absolutely not on the autistic spectrum. To be there means meeting the following criteria see NAS www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/adults.aspx
"The characteristics of autism vary from one person to another, but in order for a diagnosis to be made, a person will usually be assessed as having had persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction and restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests (this includes sensory behaviour), since early childhood, to the extent that these 'limit and impair everyday functioning' "
Note the terms persistent difficulties and to the extent that these 'limit and impair everyday functioning that explains why "everybody" does categorically not have autism.

Autism info www.autism.org.uk/about.aspx "There are approximately 700,000 autistic adults and children in the UK."

@BlankTimes agree completely! It's a completely ignorant thing to say.

Most of us are somewhere on the spectrum anyway.

How are people stupid enough to keep saying stuff like this? How do you think that works then?
It's called the AUTISTIC spectrum. As in you have to have autism to be on there.
Are most people autistic? No, they aren't, so what the fuck are you going on about?

Most of us are somewhere on the spectrum anyway yup that’s just not true. But then you have ASD experts like Simon Baron-Cohen spouting stuff like this so it’s no wonder other people do. Many people have traits that could be seen as Autistic but in order to be on the spectrum you have to meet certain criteria.

I was diagnosed with ASD in my early 30s, that was after I recognised it for myself and asked my GP to refer me. I would have been shocked if anyone had suggested it to me but after I saw Tania Marshall’s work on ASD in women I had a sort of ‘lightbulb’ moment where I recognised myself and knew why I’d struggled for so long. I do think it’s easy for people to assume people who are introverted to be Autistic. I’ll never understand why extroverts think that introverts are so weird!

Sorry that should say ‘some’ extroverts.

Is your sister in law trained to diagnose?

If not, I can understand why it might be annoying. It can be irritating when non trained people pronounce on such things.

OP can you come back and explain why you're angry?