Most outlandish excuse

[Likethebattle]

I’m on my way to work for my last day before starting a new job. As I woke up warm and cosy and saw the icy pavements outside I just wanted to burrow back under the blankets. Obviously I’m going in, however me and my husband were trying to some up with the best excuses for why I couldn’t go in. Yellow fever, fractured eyelash etc. Tell me more to make me laugh and coronavirus is excluded as it’s a plausible reason.

Also wonder if it would cone in but I actually don’t want to’ would work!

Can't be fucked?

Ha ha that’s probably just the best. Train has arrived so hi ho here I go!

One excuse I heard years ago. "I was delayed getting out of bed". 😁

One excuse I heard for being late was "I was ironing my trousers". He was an hour and a half late!

My ferret hid my car keys. True story.

What about the too much hand cream they couldn’t open the door ,excuse I read on here a few days ago

My bridesmaids dogs twice removed cousin died .... very sad, very sad xx

Ostriches on the (train) line.

I was riding my motorbike & eating an apple & got stopped by the police.

There was a fire on the train & I had to put it out with my shirt.

All three of those were offered by a guy I used to work with as to why he was late during his training course. He didn't last long...

There was a cow in the brook and we helped the farmer get it out. One of my classmates in homeschool. True story, because me and my friends saw the cow too, we just decided that getting to school on time was more important

I was locked in the house and tore my last pair of trousers trying to get out. Dh has gone to work, locking the door behind him, and I hadn't realised I'd left my house keys in the glove box of my car. I climbed out of the living room window but caught my trousers on the catch which tore a hole in them. They were my last pair of clean trousers. I had to stop at Tesco on my way to work and buy a new pair. I was over an hour late for work!

I've used the excuse before "paper cut on my eyeball". It was actually true though

I was once late for work as I stopped to round up 2 loose Shetland ponies on a busy A road. The one little shit was a stallion and kept rearing up at me - ended up with white hair all over my black work trousers

A few weeks later (and only a few hundred yards away) I stopped to pick up an elderly dog who had wandered off from home - had to ring the owner who ran up the lane to fetch her complete with toddler on his hip, looking very frazzled.

Nobody at work was surprised either time.

I've been late for work due to the road being blocked by sheep before. I had to take a photo because I didn't think anyone would believe me.

Got lost/ missed turning/motorway exit
Was listening to something on the radio
I thought it was saturday
I couldn't finish the crossword
Had to wait for the milk to defrost so I could eat/drink

Overseas. Power cut and couldn’t get my car out the garage. My boss pissed himself laughing.

@DontGoIntoTheLongGrass I have actually had the same injury.

Did the day, got through and it was ok really.