When to introduce new partner?

[JustOneLastThing]

I have been seeing someone new for the past few months,but it feels like something long term (we have known each other for 15+ years).

When should I introduce the DC (8) to him? I don't want to leave it for too long or do it too quickly

Considering you've known him for so long, there's nothing wrong with him meeting your DS. But don't introduce him in a romantic sense. 8 is too young to understand or need to understand more than he's your friend.

A special friend.

I don't agree. DD was 8 when I introduced DP and she knew he was my boyfriend. It was fine.

If it's a few months like two months I wouldn't. Yes, you may have known him for 15 years but your DS hasn't.

Just chill out and enjoy dating. Theres nothing positive to be achieved by your DS meeting him yet.

6 months minimum I say.

I would say a year minimum personally

Depends, have you introduced your son to other men? When was the relationship break down ?

If you've known him for 15 years, has he not already met your child?

As a lone parent I think a minimum of 6 months, but in many ways longer if you can as you're very much in the honeymoon period, bolstered subconsciously by the fact that you have known him longer.
Right now you HOPE that the relationship will go somewhere longer term but it is just that hoping.
I wouldn't want to introduce my child to someone at 8 and then maybe 4-5 months down the line they walk out of their life.

I think there's no problem introducing them fairly early on, just to make sure there aren't any huge issues between them which would be a deal breaker for you. If that's the case then better to find out ASAP! The concern is more around making him an important figure in your DC's life (in case you split up later on). So I'd introduce him quite early but only in a very low key way. And keep it like that for a while.

At least a year I’d say. Children get no say in new partners and just have to live with it.

I have a friend who keeps her dating life separate and plans to do so until her child leaves home. She’s lived within a step family as a child and doesn’t want it for her own child.

We were work colleagues/friends so DS hasn't met him. We have been out drinking over the years as a group so not child friendly particularly! DP knows a lot about DS, and has children of his own (which again I haven't met) who I would love to meet at the right time.

We both work in a closed environment which is not suitable for kids (similar to prison) so people don't bring their kids to the office as it were.

The problem with not introducing him....considering OP knows he's a decent person already...is that OP and he will formulate their relationship without the DS as part of that.

So they'll form habits which will then have to alter when DS is brought into the equation. Why not bring him in as a friend right now?

6 months ish. But only, I think, if you’ve had a discussion with your BF and you’ve both agreed you’re in it for the long haul. I would introduce him to your DS as your boyfriend - none of this ‘special friend’ nonsense. Children aren’t stupid and at 8 I see no reason to fudge the truth.

Yes, I don't ever understand the, "this is x, mum's friend"
What is that about? And then when do you say, "no actually he's my partner"

There is a big difference between introducing the person you have been seeing for a few months and moving someone in. Your child will be fine if your boyfriend is invited to join you both for short periods of time for a couple of months, and then if time they spend together gradually increases. It is healthy for everyone involved

I also think, if you know it's likely to last, that sooner is better. If it really doesn't work between the BF and child then you will be more likely to end it. If it's been a lot longer before introductions and you are very emotionally invested in the BF, it will be a lot harder to walk away from that.

Children adapt. Just go at their pace (to an extent).

So how long should you date before officially introducing a new partner to your child? I've met my partner's son, and my partner has met mine (both 7) but they aren't aware that we are romantically involved.