Just been told they may chop of my boob... should I take control and ask for a matching pair and be done with it?

[ChocDee]

As the title says really, just been told that I have cancer in one breast and that they most likely will lop it off and that I can have reconstruction surgery at the same time. (Still early days - am seeing the oncologist next week).

I feel that I still want a breast there rather than a gaping hole reminding me of being a fucking victim (and I also enjoy clothes sewing but I don't know how to alter patterns!).

Breast cancer is rampant in my family and this was my second biopsy in two years.

Does anybody think it would be a good idea to go totally Angelina and ask them to take them both and give me a fresh set?

I am living in the US so it would be a money maker for them rather than a drain on the health service.
I just imagine that I would feel a bit more in control and mentally afterwards feel better in all sorts of weird ways.

My sister said it would be too drastic a surgery. I just want to be able to kick it in the balls...

Thoughts?

What have your doctors said? A friend just had the one with cancer removed at the time but decided after treatment to have the second removed to prevent it coming back in that one. She had complications from the second one and wished she had both done at the same time, I can’t remember if it was the doctor who preferred only one at the start or if it was her choice. I can’t say for sure as I’ve not been there myself thankfully but I think I would want to be ‘even’ and as mine are big I would worry if it came back as a lump it would be hard to find

Honestly if I were you, and you could afford it I would just get a fresh set done. It'd be a long healing process and probably quite painful, but it'd be done

Assuming you have a conversation with your oncologist and surgeon, I'd say go for it, for no reason other the peace of mind. Are there any support groups where people could tell you about their experiences?

Don't want to make you feel worse, but if you're high risk don't they tend to advise against reconstruction? There are prosthetics. (Based on family experience).

I think it's distressing either way, but personally I think I'd cope even less well with a double mastectomy, it's brutal. I would be as worried about losing strength and range of motion in both arms simultaneously, as that would be another loss to grieve and make me feel out of control.

However it's not me and I think your point about feeling in control is an important factor in how well you'll cope afterwards and therefore in the decision you make. Although there are other options for feeling like you're taking control.

How much info have you had on the risks/benefits and recovery from the surgery in each scenario? E.g physiotherapy and potentially loss of mobility/range of movement?

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this at all though. Cancer is an evil bastard.

You sound exactly like I did when I found out I had cancer in one breast!

Just be aware that if you have mastectomy and reconstruction in one go and THEN need radiotherapy you’re nuked boob could go all hard ( encapsulated. That’s if it’s a silicon and saline breast. This happened to me and it’s fine and doesn’t bother me.

There are various types of reconstruction and I’m glad I didn’t have bits cut off the rest of me to put on my boobs. But that’s just me.

I had both breasts done but it was arranged to do the cancer one first and have all my treatment. Then when radiotherapy was over they took me back in and did the second preventative op. That worked for me.

My friend had a double mastectomy. The advantage was one operation and one anaesthetic. The disadvantage was that she wasn’t as comfortable as me on the recovery time. Had to sit propped up to sleep where as I could sleep on my good side. Horses for courses.

I was incredibly surprised how little pain I was in. I would say I had to ask for any sickness injections when I had my pain meds. No pain at all that I can remember.

Do Pilates after. Well not right after, but regularly once you’ve recovered. It sorted me out but then I didn’t have muscles removed from my back or fat removed from my stomach. I’ve got lovely fake ones with tattoos of nipples. Lovely.

If I could afford It I would definitely get them both chopped off now. Breast cancer is a horrible fucker and it has a habit of cropping up again and again.

The important thing is to do what is right for you though.

Also just from a cosmetic point of view I wouldn't like one fake and one real. No matter How good a job they do it is never going to look and feel exactly like your other one. Maybe you could even have them reduced/enlarged and lifted a bit! Nice little pick me up after a horrible ordeal...

Gosh, thank you so much for the replies and opinions.

I have only seen my regular doctor as of yet so I actually know zilch.

I was told yesterday afternoon and the idea just popped into my head today.

I didn't think about muscles and stuff I must admit. It would be super if they used liposuction from other areas as padding though wouldn't it! :)

My boobs are rather tiny and I do not want to go larger, just peace of mind and all that Jazz.

Thank you one and all once again!

I had breast cancer and lost my right breast. For various reasons reconstruction wasn’t an option at the time and I know it’s far more drastic to have it done later. I wish more than anything they had taken both . I hate this feeling of lopsided ness. At night when I take my bra off - I would rather be flat than have one big boob and one flat side. Wishing you all the best x

@ChocDee - you might find this thread useful:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/3827476-Cancer-support-thread-74-come-in-were-here-for-you

Lots of people going through various stages of diagnosis and combinations of treatment as well as being a safe place to vent among people who 'get it'.

In the UK I think its prosthetics, rather than liposuction and reinsertion of fatty tissue, could be wrong though.

Either way, id still go for the fake boobies!

You can have reconstruction done at the time using your own tissue, -here.

My mother had one removed and really regretted it. Apparently it was really hard on her back not being balanced.

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis.

I had prophylactic double mastectomy (i.e. no cancer) in my 20s (over 10 years ago). On the NHS, implants, back flap and fat transfer - although what is available very much depends on your own physique and to some extent what sort of reconstruction your surgeon specialises in, in my experience.

If it's an option (and it might not be, because it depends on the location, extent of the cancer and what subsequent treatment you might need) and it's a decision your comfortable with, then I say it's worth pursuing to see if it's possible.

There are other options instead of back flap. I wouldn’t want a wound on my back as well a my front.
I’ve got silicon and saline expanders. No operation on any other body parts required!
I’ve seen a friends tummy fat move to stomach breasts. She loves hers, including her new fake tummy button. It all seemed a bit of a palaver to me though. I was too skinny from the cancer at the time to have that done. I’m quite glad as I’m happy with my breasts. Saying that I could now make a third breast out of my tummy now!

I am having a mastectomy and reconstruction using fat and muscle from my stomach next week .
I am heavy busted and am going from Ff cup to c/d cup .
When I have recovered from that operation I will have the healthy side lifted and reduced to match .
The likely hood of the cancer returning in my case is small .
I will lose the nipple on my reconstructed side as the cancer started as DCIS but sadly has become invasive into the chest muscle .
I was advised against prosthesis as a I am very active and it was felt that it would be too heavy and not secure enough .

My gut reaction was to have a mastectomy with no reconstruction but consultation with the breast nurse helped me to decide on reconstruction using my own body tissue . ( lighter , warmer and won’t shift around )

the only thing i am qualified to advise on is altering patterns. it's fun and interesting! i make my own from scratch and love it, it's an interesting art and science challenge. be well 😘

My DM had a history of breast cancer in her family (took 2 aunts). When she was diagnosed in 1997, aged 60, she immediately told the consultant to remove both breasts with no messing around. She said she'd seen how trying to treat cancer any other way turned out, and wasn't going to go through that herself.

She passed in 2017 from a horrible dementia that set in in 2014. But there was never any issues from the cancer. She was the last member of her support group living, and it became a rather dark ritual when I'd visit to hear who had passed away since last time.

Hope this helps. Best of luck.

At the time the consultant was not only taken aback by the decision but tried to talk her out of it (foolish person - didn't know DM).

Goodmorning you lovely wonderful people!
So good to read and hear about your experiences without the scary medical jargon, though I am so sorry that you have gone through it.

At the moment I feel like a bit of a fraud, yes I shed a tear for 5 seconds after the doctors appointment but then back to jokes, jokes, jokes. That is how I deal with everything I'm afraid.

But it looks like my person is going to try and come and stay for when I have the op. It would mean a two day drive due to the Corona palaver (she is just recovering from chemo herself). But flip me, it would be good to have her here, as well as a tremendous support for the husband as he loves her too.

Thank you once again.

Hi, I had the left breast removed last year.
It will be a longer recovery for both and remember, you may have a drain in if they are removing any lymph nodes. If you you are having radiotherapy I would hold off on a new boob. But, I found that once I was healed I didn’t really want more surgery. I have a prosthetic, but I have also altered a couple of tops so that it it tighter over the flat side to really show off the difference if I don’t want to wear a prosthetic. But I’m a provocative f*er 😁

All the best chocdee.