Tell me about bidets!

[ArgumentativeAardvaark]

Went on hols to France a couple of months ago and DS has multiple nosebleeds; we discovered that the bidet was the perfect height for a 3 year-old to stand over with a bleeding nose. But it got me thinking about how I just tend to ignore bidets when I’m holiday as I have literally no idea what you are meant to do with them!

Can someone explain what happens behind closed continental bathroom doors? Do you sit on them backwards or forwards, or just hover? Is a towel involved? Soap? Do men use them? Do you use them after a wee or only a poo? Does your Mum teach you what to do when you are small? How do you keep your clothes dry?

I used to sit on the toilet and shave my legs 🦵 over the bidet as a teenager, didn't go down well!!!

Yes, excellent for shaving legs. I also use mine if I want a quick freshen up for some reason, periods mostly.

I am also thinking it will be a godsend if the toilet paper crisis gets worse...

I sit on ours facing the taps, it's great for floof washing as well as, erm, bum rinsing.
And of course I'm not too worried about running out of bog roll in the current madness circs.
It's also good for when you're putting foot scrub on to exfoliate your feet and lower legs.
Seriously, i wouldn't be without one.

In some cultures they uswe a bedet or a shower attachment instead of loo roll. It,s more hygienic as your actually washing yourself in some ways but not if they keep using the towel.

I've seen the hose attachment in the far east but the item that's on my wish list is....

www.bigbathroomshop.co.uk/milano-luxus-back-to-wall-japanese-bidet-toilet-78065?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkuKPvdWT6AIVx_ZRCh02gw1NEAQYASABEgJmyfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I've got one attached to the toilet - it plugs in and you press a switch on the side to give yourself a wash. I wouldn't be without it , and these days I can't even imagine just wiping with a piece of dry paper. Your bottom needs a good wash if you want to be clean and fresh !

Mine has different temperatures of the water and the seat , so it's very luxurious and comfortable. You can adjust it towards the back for daily use, or to the front for women ( lady wash as they call it) which projects the wash at the right spots !

I've got the Washaloo www.washloo.co.uk/ but there are plenty of bidet companies around. They attach to your toilet like a normal toilet seat, and then you just plug in , and off you go.

They are lovely when you've got your period, or after childbirth . So warm and gentle , it's a wonderful feeling.

Just don't start stockpiling bidets in lieu of loo roll

This made me laugh when I read an article about bidets just now :

To avoid any surprises turn on the water slowly and cover the jet with your hand so as to get a warning before the water hits you

Maybe bidet owners actually like the surprise.

They are meant for cleaning yourself after using the toilet (particulary after a poo). In countries with a warmer climate, things get smelly sooner 😅 so people avoid that by not only cleaning themselves with loo paper.

And as far as I know you face whatever side it is that needs cleaning and as @mycorona mentioned, turn on the water slowly to avoid getting wet. Soap is optional, water can already do a good cleanse by itself.

I love a bidet when I'm on holiday, looks like the Washaloo is the nearest I'm going to get to one.
There is a wiki how page on how to use a bidet.

I love our bidet! I sit both ways depending which side I want to wash. Also useful for filling a bucket of water if I'm cleaning, rinsing nappies before putting them in the wash and washing feet if they're dirty.

It’s normal to have a small personal towel hanging nearby, to dry yourself. Very bad form to share towels!

After a poo, you still would use loo roll (at the loo), flush, then move to the bidet to rinse. I guess in a pinch you could skip the paper (if you have none) but I’d be a bit concerned about the ‘splash zone’ and it’d be a faff to clean properly after every use that way. Would be a bit gross on the towels too, if you weren’t thorough.

I have a bidet in a country where it’s quite unusual. I’ve learnt the hard way to warn friends/family who visit with little boys. They inevitably decide its a perfect height kiddie urinal. They think it’s fab, and very gracious of me to offer it!

Bidets are sensational for lots of situations. After childbirth, during periods, pre & post sex, as a freshen up on hot days (or when a shower isn’t possible), when you have vulva or anal issues (where bathing helps, or medications need to be applied to clean skin). Most bidets have a ‘plug & fill up’ option, not just the spout/fountain bit.

The ‘wink wink’ mythology around them exists too. It’s said most girls in households with bidets end up having their first orgasms on them!

@Nitpickpicnic .
Thanks for all the responses. I have been to Japan and experienced the built-in bum wash function on a luxury toilet, along with heated seat, bum dryer and button to make music to drown out the sound of the wee. That I can understand, but transferring yourself with unclean nethers to a separate, very low down cold porcelain bidet, which also takes up valuable floor space in the bathroom, not so sure.

They're good for washing your bits if you don't take a shower. I grew out of it and would rather shower.

Good for washing dirty feet if you prefer morning showers, while sitting on the toilet with the lid closed.

Good with D&V

Good for quickly washing bathing suits after the beach. Possibly, your undies and bras.

Also, storage.