Tell my mates the worst you've seen posted.

[Catworrier]

I'm sat with two child free friends explaining the wonders of Mumsnet.
I've shown them a couple of posts, but what's the weird and wonderful you've stumbled across on this site?
Grace us with your stories

Mumsnet is an amazing place full of advice an support, many mumsnet members have helped me at my worst and supported me at my best

One poster once said straighten your crown, we are all faboulous, I like that

Not the worst? but the best ones that have entertained me over the years:-

Penis beaker
EKL elderly Korean lady
Alphabet street
Cf parking nightmares
A women whos cf neighbour put a door or window (i forget?) In the persons wall (often wonder what happened to her)
Sweetcorn river of poo
Pombears threads

Some of the most amazing threads of women leaving abusive or unhappy relationships

I suggest you and your mates head to Classics can lose yourself for hours in that topic

Someone once told me having bilingual kids was showing off. Nothing to do with wanting them to be able to speak to both sets of grandparents then

Lot of hysteria, anxiety & fantasists, tbh.

I enjoy the fantasists. I mean you can call them trolls, but they don't half get quite creative some of them. "I have 9 children by 5 different fathers or maybe 6, I'm not really sure about my 3rd girl -- anyway, AIBU to make the 3 eldest girls share a room with the smallest boy so I can get a lodger to pay for 2 of the middle boy's rowing tuition coz I think they're gonna be Olympic standard and their private school is very good at producing Olympians. Oh, and do you think Waitrose has changed the recipe for the Earl Grey?"

Three words: Mexican house thief.

The Chapel screamer was my absolute favourite I still have a little chuckle when it pops into my head now and again

Thickos of TripAdvisor.

Tell your friends they don't have mum's ( or dad's) to be on here I am not but I have found this site helpful supportive and hilarious .
Show them the post that' is called something like floof on fire yesterday

Oh and the post
Someone is having sex in my bush ( or something like that)

This one was fantastic and had us all hanging on tenter hooks .
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3288349-people-keep-having-sex-in-my-hedge?msgid=79093087

Ah here it is , not floof on fire , Spicy floof
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3844201-Spicy-foof

The current lost bracelet at nursery is going down a storm.

OP is winning most 'ground swallow me up' day

The woman who thought it was ok to let her child use a potty on the shop floor of House of Fraser. She complained to them via twitter or facebook and within 5 minutes of creating her post other posters were breating her because they'd found her complaint on the shop's SM page and through that found her facebook profile which had no privacy settings so everyone could see her name, address, details of her kids, everything. She really didn't get the response she expected.

The one that made me laugh the most was the Christians against Dinosaurs one that morphed into Dinosaurs against Christians against Dinosaurs .

gaah, berating, not breating.

What make you think there aren’t loads of child free posters here?

A few really old, old ones; Sharon/wine/wasp/wall
T-rexing in ASDA

Then there was the sex hedge one and screaming in the Costume chapel. Oh, and Balonz.

^Bloody autocorrect. CISTINE chapel.

The Supersoaker one was the most ridiculous. I’m trying to find it but can only find threads about spraying cars with them 😂.

"Your minge!!!" still makes me snigger like a muppet, but I don't think it's there any more.

EKL
Mexican house thief
Sharon/red wine & wasps
T-Rexing and Mole
Facebook tat posts - I do love those!

As well as all the funny stuff I have learned loads about mental health issues, feminism issues, red flags etc, and autism awareness.

I don't even have kids, have been here years and love it!!

Follow the @mumsnet_madness on twitter. That should give them a good overview of mumsnet's finest.

Thank you so much for all of these. I'm seeing them again tomorrow so we will have a read up of all these!!!

P.S never said there weren't any CF posters on here, they are just oblivious to mumsnet. I've love it but only discovered it after a mum shared it with me once I had DC.

The spray painted pigeon
"Paul is that you?"

Balonz is merely riding on the coattails of the baby name thread that ended with Slithery...

The one where the a mum and toddler were in the GP surgery and she tried to say “come here you whiny tinker” but what came out was “come here you tiny wanker.”

I’m laughing as I type.

Mexican house thief?? What did I miss!

Someone share the lost bracelet thread you speak of... it sounds like a corker!

Anal sex at centreparcs

Snapped and farted

The Christmas one where the older baby wasn't allowed to sit at the table at Christmas dinner because the 8 week old relative would feel left out.

Softzilla