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My explosive child

12 replies

Heygirlheyboy · 11/03/2020 20:06

Currently reading the book, just starting but would really appreciate other people's what works for their similar DC. I have one extremely cooperative easy DC so it's not a general parenting thing tho I do wonder if there's an element of learned behaviour in it as destructive, behaviour often gets a reaction. He has been given a lot of empathy and understanding as well as tougher love. Consequences and punishment mean absolutely nothing in terms of changing or improving the behaviour and simply breed more resentment in the short term in an already difficult situation. In school he is overall very very well behaved but the teacher can see the restrainrr steam coming out of his ears at times over perceived slights ie he can't stand being corrected and seems unable to see his own role ie his behaviour led to it. I am drained tonight after a partiiclarly horribel episode out of nowhere that blew up in seconds. For.now I have decided to attempt to remove the oxygen by not discussing afterwards and just gave a curt good night..He is 7 gets a lot of one on one with.both parents and I would say I have a incredibly close relautonship with him but I am fed up at what seems like incredibly disrespectful behaviour. Anyone with similar I would love your dos and donts for what works and doesnt.

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Heygirlheyboy · 11/03/2020 20:13

Despite what I've said above there's a part of me that feels like removing any little extras eg biscuit for supper, time playing together etc but I am.sure that's probably the wrong route to tske. He is physical when aggressive, throws things etc. If I did go the punishment route it will just have short term effect until next time ie the next day.

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Heygirlheyboy · 11/03/2020 20:51

Anyone?

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Howmanysleepsnow · 11/03/2020 22:54

Not heard of the book, but I have the child! (Minus the aggression)
Also 7. It seemed to start when a few children in his class were picking on him. He didn’t tell us at first, but did after a few months. That has been slowly sorted out now, but the outbursts and lack of responsibility seem to have stayed. It’s getting better, but slowly.

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springydaff · 11/03/2020 22:59

Sorry this is tough for you op. Sounds very challenging.

I have no advice, I'm sorry. I hope someone comes along soon with some good advice and support 🌺💐

Heygirlheyboy · 12/03/2020 08:25

Thank you both. I moved it to aibu for traffic!

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GloGirl · 12/03/2020 08:38

My son sounds similar and we've seen an educational psychologist for him.

At home what I decided was some things will happen in spite of behaviour - eg a snack and TV after school. This stops me getting too wound up after very stressful school picks ups and gives him chance to wind down. Other things like time on his tablet are dependant on behaviour.

DICarter1 · 12/03/2020 08:39

As the parent of an angry child though she has autism (plus a husband who is fiery). I’d say don’t meet fire with fire. Judge each situation, obviously you can’t leave him attacking a sibling or throwing things. But I’d wait until he calms down and talk to him about the problem. Sounds like he has issues self regulating. Any other issues aside from anger?

Heygirlheyboy · 12/03/2020 09:03

Yes husband fiery here too moreso in past... other issues? No but this feels big!

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Heygirlheyboy · 12/03/2020 09:05

Yes to self regulating being the problem but despite my reassurance and help doesn't make an effort here, gets a release from the anger it seems. Would you be so kind as to post on aibu thread and I will get this deleted?

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springydaff · 12/03/2020 15:12

Can you link your AIBU thread op?

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springydaff · 12/03/2020 20:24

Thanks xx

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