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A woman's role

9 replies

onlinedatingbatshits · 11/03/2020 03:38

Started speaking to a guy on an online dating app.

Male says he's been single for 3 years.
I asked why.
Male says because his type is "xyz but includes 'a woman who knows her role as a woman/ wife'
I queried this
His response:
'Its 2020 n modern society, and roles have reversed n equal rights n all that however as a woman/wife cook clean etc, add to ya mans well being. He meant to leave di crib feeling empowered n ready to take on the world not angry and depleted'

My question is, why are people still opposed to equal rights?

And why do men still feel less empowered if they do household chores?

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 11/03/2020 03:47

My question is, how quickly did you block him?

onlinedatingbatshits · 11/03/2020 03:53

I have a bad habit of challenging debating but my response was

'
All I've got to say is that if you are threatened by equal rights and feel less empowered by sharing household chores then you aren't a real man.'

OP posts:
crankysaurus · 11/03/2020 03:53

And did he realise that'll leave him single for at least another three years?

onlinedatingbatshits · 11/03/2020 04:07

Exactly my thoughts. The gap in dating makes sense @crankysaurus

OP posts:
PondLover · 11/03/2020 06:06

He’s probably married to someone who doesn’t think that having testicles physically prevents you from being able to operate the washing machine.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 11/03/2020 06:24

'Di crib'? I'd have blocked him for that.

RuffleCrow · 11/03/2020 06:26

Old is full of these cave men. Block him and let natural selection do the rest Grin

Tableclothing · 11/03/2020 07:10

When it's men, they're opposed to equal rights because equal rights means diminishing the rights they currently have. Actor Emma Watson has said that women's rights don't take anything away from men, but that isn't true. For example, in 1991 British women gained the legal right not to be raped by their husbands - and British men lost the legal right to rape their wives. (All we need now is a justice system capable of enforcing this)

Household chores are not empowering*. They use time and energy that pretty much everyone would rather use to do something else. Life options in terms of cleaning are:

  1. don't bother, live in a pig sty
  2. manipulate/coerce someone else* into doing it for you
  3. pay someone else to do it for you
  4. do it yourself

From the stereotypical, unreconstructed, unquestioning-of-traditional-gender-roles bloke viewpoint, men go outside the home, women stay inside it. It is a woman's job to support the man in his role as head of the family, main breadwinner, etc.
Cleaning the home is therefore a female job and a man who does it becomes less manly by doing so. That's why really sexist pigs don't even clean up after themselves when they're single - they think it it's manly of them to be bad at cleaning (same way some women think it is ladylike to be bad at throwing, or car maintenance, or maths).

Option 2 is the most popular among sexist men and you see it described on here all. The. Fucking. Time. "Dh doesn't see dirt" "dh does such a bad job that I have to redo it after" "Dh put a red shirt in with the whites again" "dh put my new wool jumper on a boil wash" "dh says he doesn't enjoy cleaning as much as I do" (!) "Dh says that as I'm sahm I should do all the cleaning and he needs to relax when he gets in from work (with 3 under 3...)"

Option 3 - not financially possible for everyone, and I think that a lot of sexist bastards resent paying (almost certainly) a woman to do something they think that she really ought to be doing for free. (That's why they resent the prostitutes they visit) They tend to prefer option 1 when single and option 2 when coupled up. For a sexist bastard, paying for a cleaner when you already have a wife/girlfriend is a sign that your missus isn't in enough awe of you to clean up, so it makes then uneasy/angry.

Option 4. To the sexist bastard, cleaning is woman's work. To clean up after themselves would fundamentally destabilise their identity as A Man. Because men don't clean. So if they clean, what does that make them? A sissy? (Being polite ish) No. Intolerable. They will be sticking with options 1 and 2, like a Real Man. Thus, being a Real Man is a mental prison which limits a man's choices and causes him little but distress (and to be single for three years). Pity him, after blocking him.

*unless you're a professional cleaner getting paid for your time and effort.

PurpleDaisies · 11/03/2020 07:16

He’s a pig. At least you’ve found out now.

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