Should I have bought her a card?

[HeyHeyWhatever]

I have a friend - we will call her Jane. Jane and I used to work together, but now stay close by attending a hobby together. I would consider her to be a good friend.

Very happily, Jane's first grandchild arrived a couple of weeks ago - healthy baby boy. I know her son quite well, and bought him and his wife a Congratulations card. I gave it to Jane to pass on last week.

We attended our hobby last night, and several mutual friends gave Jane "congratulations on the birth of your grandchild" cards. Is this a thing?? Will Jane be offended that I bought her son and DiL a card, and no card for her?!

Of course she doent need a card

I suppose it depends what sort of person Jane is as to whether she’ll be offended, and you know her best. I wouldn’t say it’s particularly common to send new grandparents a card. Is Jane generally quite precious about cards and gifts?

People buy cards to congratulate a grandparent?
Well, that's a clever bit of marketing to sell more unnecessary, environmently unfriendly crap.

If she is offended you didn't get her a card, you should probably rethink the friendship in my view.

@ComtesseDeSpair I wouldn't say she was precious - but I think it's the fact that she's had several congratulatory cards given directly to her, I wouldn't want her to feel hurt that I haven't got her one - if you see what I mean.

@BaronessBomburst This is it! I didn't know congratulations grandparents cards were a thing!

My DM got loads of cards when DD1 was born over 16 years ago. Her work also got her a lovely huge bouquet/basket display of flowers.

I don't think it's too unusual but I don't think it's always expected either, especially if you've passed on a gift for the baby.

@AlphaIndigo I have no reason to think she is offended, but she is a good friend and has been very excited about the arrival of her grandson, I'm just mindful as to how she might be feeling given that she's received these cards from other friends and not me.

I didn’t know they existed until I became a granny. So don’t worry, or just say you didn’t know about them until you saw hers.

I would think that the fact you’ve given a card to her son will mean as much to her as had you given one to her. It’s not as if you’ve ignored it - her family are clearly in your thoughts and she’ll appreciate that.