Things you do for your kids you’d never do otherwise

[SinkGirl]

I’m about to drop my DTs at nursery and then go to a three hour long training session, part 2 of 6, to learn how to play with them.

(I’m not daft - they have disabilities and don’t want to play).

Normally I would rather remove my own eyes with a spoon than spend my precious child-free time anywhere other than lying flat in a dark room, but they are worth it. I wouldn’t be doing it for anyone else!

This week I also need to:

• collect DT2’s pee in cotton wool and then squeeze it into a collection pot (bleugh)
• stay awake as much of the weekend as necessary to get a decent sleep study for DT1 after he managed to sneakily remove the sensor last time
• face my nemesis (filling in forms) to take our LA to tribunal over their education - my worst nightmare (not good at confrontation)

I realised how much of my life I spend doing things I literally wouldn’t ever bother doing for anyone else, even DH and I quite like him.

And that’s even before getting on to cleaning up poo and puke and radioactive nose goo

What less-than-fun things are you doing this week just for your kids?

Last weekend I spent 18 hours sat in uncomfortable plastic chairs whilst my Dd competed in a 2 day swimming gala, with the exception of the warm ups she was actually swimming for a total of 15 mins of that 18 hours.

Oof. You deserve a medal for that yourself. Fortunately for my mum I was never sporty but she did have to sit through some very questionable musical performances 😂

Sat with dd while she was sick numerous times on Friday night and cleaned it out of her brand new carpet

Play minecraft voluntarily so that ds2(7) has someone to play with at home. I'm quite good at it now! (not as good as him, obviously)

Tomorrow, I'm taking 8 teenagers on a trip (30 minutes away), waiting 2 hours, then bringing them home again.
I was "volunteered" as otherwise they cant go - no public transport, only one of the other parents drives, and, seeing as I can fit them all in my minibus, seems pointless 2 of us going!
To be fair, I'm quite looking forward to the 2 hour wait. All by myself and theres a Costa round the corner. Hot coffee, maybe a cake or 3 and 2 hours of peace.

@LoisLittsLover

Same here. My LO threw up gallons!! It was good and all sorts. Took me hours to clean out of my beige carpet.....

Parent helping at Beavers. Dear god, it’s purgatory.

Sick is weird - I can’t even stand to be near sick, even my own, but I can clean up my twins’ sick without even batting an eyelid.

My DD (aged about 5 at the time) got out of the swimming pool mid lesson, walked over to where I was sitting, said 'Can you hold this?' and handed me an enormous bogey. I'd have pushed anyone else into the pool and driven home by myself. But I said 'OK', took it, put it in a tissue and hid it in my bag.

I recently sat through 42 children doing exactly the same ballet routine (not even a dance, set exercises) twice each, in groups of 8. It took all afternoon. I don’t understand dance technique so I couldn’t even make a guess at who was going to win the competition, nor could I look at my phone (dark auditorium, would have disturbed others) nor could I stick my fingers in my ears as the same sodding tune rang out again.

I wouldn’t do that for anyone except dd. I’ll probably have to do it again next year. Oh, the joy.

Three times I have had to blow in DS’s mouth to get something out of his nose. THREE BLOODY TIMES. I do get some mileage out of grossing out other mum friends with these stories but I’m not sure it’s worth it.
(Anyone who hasn’t heard of this and thinks I’m insane, please google Mother’s Kiss)

Stand in a park in the rain every weekend.

Pretend to be a wide variety of Thomas the tank engine trains to get him to conoperate (victor says you should come to the high chair streamworks now, come and get into your cosy engine shed and have a nap with Percy)

Soft play

And beavers! Sleepover too. Awful awful.

Also making small talk with other mums at playgroups. Hate hate hate it.

Take my DS1 to irish dancing feises that last hours and hours and hours
Clean puke from the recesses between the hardwood floors on numerous occasions now
Do homework with teenager because it genuinly stresses him- Mother of divinf, geography is boring!

Another dance mum here - the endless competitions, shows, costumes, doing the bloody hair! Whyyyyyyyyyyy!

God too much to remember! Some that spring to mind:

Attending Rugby and gymnastic competitions/festivals that take up your whole weekend (Rugby often in freezing cold) oh, and then scraping mud off boots/washing them afterwards knowing they will end up in the same state the week after.
Filing down ds’s verruca every night and applying cream
The usual cleaning of sick/pooh
Re-stuffing and sewing a favourite flattened teddy
Driving a long way back to a place we’d visited to pick up a holey & tattered favourite blanket that had been left behind (life would not be worth living otherwise) that honestly just belongs in the bin
Sitting through awful animated films at the cinema and paying £££ for the privilege
Swinging through the trees on ropes/zip wires scared shitless in order to join in and be a “fun mum”!
De-nitting
Checking bums for worms!

I’m sure I’ll think of more...

Sucking bogeys out of a congested baby’s nose

Oh and smelling baby’s bums to check whether they’ve done a poo and need changing. I use to do this and think anything of it now I watch others do it and my stomach turns

Weekly classes an hour's drive away in DH's native language (that I don't speak), because they only run on a Thursday morning on the bloody other side of London.

For two months we watched, again and again and again each day, the same video of her friend's uncle standing in an attic somewhere pointing at things and explaining something obscure about botany. I've no idea how it started but for a while it was the only thing that calmed her down.

She's two. I presumably have more to come .

Sitting through awful animated films at the cinema and paying £££ for the privilege

We went to an autism friendly screening of the Addams family film recently. It wasn’t parent friendly however since it cost £32 sodding quid and the twins couldn’t care less. Still, was nice to relax for a couple of hours without any stares.

(I also may be the only person who finds snot suckering quite satisfying when it’s my kids - would vomit if it were anyone else!)

I sit in the car for hours at the side of airport runways talking to a pair of disembodied feet dangling down from the car roof. For variety, I sometimes stand in fields at the ends of airport runways trying not to run away screaming as planes come in to land inches over my head. I pretend I can see the differences between the 900 identical photos of said planes. Then we go home and watch Sully. I have seen Sully so many times that I could probably write the script out freehand.

Peel bananas < not envy (thankfully they have been able to peel their own bananas for many years now. Although I peel them for my nieces and nephews instead)

Talk about/watch them play Minecraft /lego star wars/whatever shit they are currently into