I’ve a lot of experience of alcoholism as a relative to many.
That’s a lot of alcohol you’ve been drinking, your describing it as “only one or 2” is you minimising because clearly you’re making each drink pretty strong!
Like those “jokey” memes on fb where someone is “only having one” but in a glass big enough to hold a full bottle of wine!
What strikes me too is that nobody as yet (unless I somehow missed) has considered/asked you if post natal mental health issues may be a possibility.
Alcohol and other substance dependencies are often a form of self medication, albeit often subconsciously.
It’s certainly worth a trip to gp/nurse/chat with midwife for a discussion.
Those asking how you’d feel if you were told you COULDN’T have a drink are rightly trying to get you to honestly assess whether it’s a want or a need, but then really you want to head off any issues BEFORE it becomes a need.
“But for most of us we run ourselves ragged all day and then self medicate in the evenings” err nope! Not normal at all and not a remotely normal attitude or level of regular consumption. I wouldn’t heed this posters advice at all.
“so I’m wondering if I’m subconsciously substituting the urge to smoke with drinking.” Cross addiction a possibility.
“I’m not actually sure what a single measure is, I just pour until it looks like enough” a common issue with drinking at home. Also perceptions based on WHAT you drink.
My dads an alcoholic and he often quotes a celebrity he much admired who was also an alcoholic who said in their autobiography that their denial was tied up in the fact they were drinking very expensive whisky and champagne and weren’t down and out drinking meths from a paper bag. They used that to deny (in their own mind) that they were alcoholic.
A single measure in a pub is 25ml - that’s a surprisingly TINY amount when you measure it out, a double is 50ml.
What’s the abv of your preferred brand? How many mls is a full bottle? That info will help us and you work out how many units you’re drinking.
With a 37.5% abv that’s just short of 1 unit per 25ml. The current guidelines are 14 units per week so that’s a MAX of 14 singles per week plus the guidance is to have at least one alcohol free day a week.
Sounds like at a conservative guess you’re having between 14-20 doubles a week which is excessive for health.
You might find it enlightening (and hopefully shocking) to pour a drink as you normally would and then measure it in a jug to see how much you’ve really been having.
Incredibly common to make very strong drinks at home. Getting a jigger or even using measuring spoons can mitigate this.
One friend of mine I suggested the aforementioned experiment to was shocked to find she was regularly pouring herself 150mls of vodka into her “one or 2” vodkas and cokes she was having of an evening. It creeps up on you - the same happens with food.
I am no saint but I’m kinda “lucky” in that my things are salty snacks and sugar which are also unhealthy but not to the same degree as alcohol or indeed other substances. But I’ve certainly learned in trying to lose weight about portion creep and how bad we are at assessing “by sight” how much of a thing we’re making ourselves.
Also alcoholics very rarely get drunk because the body fairly quickly builds a tolerance. I’ve not seen my father drunk since I was in infant school WELL before the alcoholism took hold, I’ve had discussions with friends and family about his appearance at certain events they would have sworn he was stone cold sober, he was speaking perfectly coherently, could walk and even dance fine, give pre-prepared speeches and even conduct ceremonies - all on at least one full bottle of whisky (that I knew about. Very likely a few beers and several vodkas too)
You really do want for your and your families sake to get a grip on alcohol before it gets a grip on you. It’s an insidious, evil, family wrecker of an addiction and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy ever.
Written before below update:
Ok so done with water not gin(ha ha) I’m pouring roughly 70ml a glass. So 140ml an evening
Whoa! That must be a shock op. That’s 5-6 units a night!
“Are you using those big G&T goblet glasses? I'm sure the reason we all drink so much now is that glasses are huge. Have you seen the glasses they used to use in the 60s? Teeeeeny little things.”
Totally agree! And they take up so much bloody space in cupboards too!
I’ve had similar problems because plates are so huge now too! Said this too many times on here - My mums 70’s dinner service her dinner plates are a TINY bit bigger than my side plates, my dinner plates look like bloody serving platters in comparison to her dinner plates, I can’t even close the sodding cupboards properly!
She also has all her 70’s glassware still, the right glasses for the right drinks even though neither she nor my dad drink now, they are tiny! You would definitely not accidentally serve yourself a quintuple shot in one! Certainly not if you needed to add tonic too.
From a quick google they were still goblet style then (I’ve no idea what drinks are meant to be served how any more as it’s too long since I worked a bar!) but MUCH smaller. The ones now are massive!
“maybe one day they’ll sell all spirits with three pourer things that only release a measure” you mean an optic? You can buy them yourself easy to put on bottle. Good idea to do that actually as then each time you tip the bottle you know you’re getting one measure.
@aWeaponCalledTheWord totally agree with your post. It’s so available, so normalised and so insidious.
With my background I’m hyper conscious of being prone to addiction (family stuffed full, not just substances but gambling, exercise all sorts - you can become addicted to pretty much anything!) and as I also have ocd - which the experts believe is linked too - I’m VERY cautious around drinking habits. But I’m perfectly used to being around others who drink regularly but healthily and normally too so it doesn’t bother me from that aspect but I do notice if it’s starting to take a hold.
Good on you op for recognising a potential issue and hopefully now addressing it. Good luck to you.