Found out I'm pregnant and not sure what to do.

[Mary0606]

Hello, getting in touch as would be really grateful for any friendly advice/discussion.

Thing is, I'm 8wks pregnant and am absolutely terrified - not happy at all and completely overwhelmed.

I've been with my boyfriend who's 38 (I'm 31) for just over a year. We moved in together only last November '19 which for me was also a big step as I had a v long term partner before current bf which lasted almost 10yrs and whom heartbrakingly didn't want to commit.

Fast forward a new home and then in Jan work put me on a PIP. I had a bully boss who was absolutely awful and decided to get a lawyer involved and then chose to resign. Whilst I was so grateful for their support - being out of a job is nerve wracking. A couple of weeks later (feb) I then find out I'm pregnant.

I think the sad thing is, I've always wanted to be a mum. My previous bf forced me to have an abortion which left me devastated, yet here I am with someone who wants the child, wants to support me - and yet I'm still freaking out, still not happy?! I worry that I'll never get back into work and worry that we are rushing things. I know bf would be devastated if I didn't go ahead.

I would be so grateful if anyone has any thoughts, advice for me. Thank you.

Be kind to yourself. It is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and to be scared. A baby is a huge change! Talk to your partner about how you're feeling. Give yourself time to really get your head around the pregnancy and make the best decision you can for you 💕

Not only is this perfectly normal, youre history with someone not wanting children ia probably also having a mental effect on you.

Dont forget your body will already be up to all sorts with hormones!

Congratulations!

Thank you for your messages. I'm going to give myself some time and hopefully things will settle. I just feel I'm on a rollercoaster atm which won't stop!

A bit of a freak out is normal, even in planned, longed for pregnancies. Give yourself some time to get used to the idea.

I had a freak out after 6 years of fertility treatments. I have always wanted a baby and well, did a lot of stuff to get pregnant. When I finally was I had a freak out too. It's just because it's life changing and you don't know what you're in for. The feeling passed really quickly for me, but I was surprised that it happened at all given my history!

That's good to hear it passed, I'm hoping it will for me too. Fingers crossed

I guess we can't always perfectly plan these things - and maybe it is meant to be.

It's completely normal to freak out I think. With my first my OH and I had been trying to conceive for a year and it wasn't happening and I was deeply sad about it - so sad that I had started planning for a whole other life with OH including career, travel, lots of stuff the freedom granted.
when i found out i was expecting i freaked out
give yourself time to adjust. your life has obviously changed a lot in the last 2 years and will continue to do so.
good luck! x

Pretty much same thing happened to me. Moved in together in November after nine months together. Found out I was 🤰 in Jan. We bought a house together, had baby and got married. It was an awful shock at first, so I know how you feel, but you'll be fine. Also don't beat yourself up if part of you always has mixed feelings about not being able to plan your pregnancy, it's narural. It will work out.

I spent years trying to get pregnant.

Still freaked out in the earliest weeks of finding out I was pregnant.

Good luck.