Help me with sulking 4 year old, please!

[Readysetcake]

My 4 yo DD has always been highly strung and had tantrums a lot. Now she has started to go into massive strops and sulks at the drop of hat. She is currently in a major one because I wouldn’t put her socks on for her after she had to change them.

Should I be putting her socks on for her? Am I being a rubbish parent because I’m making her do some things by herself? (she’s capable by the way). She’s making me feel like a rubbish parent.

I don’t want her to sulk and be in a bad mood for ages. But I also don’t want to be her maid and do everything she says to keep her from flying into a strop.

Any tips please? This is really getting me down and I feel I’m not dealing with it very well.

it might be worth trying to give her options. so, do you want to put on red or blue socks? cornflakes or cheerios? sometimes letting them feel in control can help stop tantrums. I do sympathise though, my youngest two (twins) are 4 and the tantrums are starting to become more freuquent!

Thanks for the reply. I always try to offer options. But quite often she just wants me to do things for her and gets so grumpy when I don’t. I feel like my whole day is spent fighting fires over some offence I’ve caused!

I think what you need to say here is "you can put the socks on yourself or go without, up to you" and then just ignore any sulking..

You're not being a rubbish parent by getting her to do stuff for herself, I'm assuming she will be at school after the summer, and the teacher will not have time to pander to this nonsense. Maybe try a star reward chart, if she manages to go a day without throwing a strop over something silly she gets a star and a small reward for a week's worth of stars?

You're not being rubbish. My DS is 4 and can't (won't?) put socks on himself, but he can dress himself with other items of clothing, and although I'll always help if he asks for it eg if something is inside out or tighter, I wouldn't do it for him!

The book how to talk so little kids will listen has honestly opened my eyes to better parenting though, I'd recommend it for anyone with a young child.

Pick your battles OP.