Nc for this, apologies in advance if it’s long.
Bit of a dilemma (although minor compared to a lot of things going on in the world right now, I understand that)
We currently live in a housing association house. We’ve been here for approx 7 years and had to move from the area my husband grew up in and where we lived together for 10 years and had our children.
It was quite a difficult time when we moved to this area, especially with our oldest who had to move schools. She has now recently moved back to the old area after renting a flat there, but the other dc 11 & 13 are quite settled here.
We have been offered a swap back to our old area. Where all of our friends and family are, to a smaller house but one which would be more manageable for me (disabled).
Problem being, our dc really don’t want to move! 11yo is autistic amongst other issues, and any change would be hard for her, but it’s my 13yo who seems so much more troubled by the idea of moving. She has a good group of friends here and goes out with them often.
We’ve said they can stay at their current schools, as dh will be able to run them in the mornings, and can take them to their friends houses or bring their friends here whenever (it really is only 15 mins in the car, not the other side of the country!)
I just have this horrible gut feeling that if we move I’ll make the dc so sad and they’ll end up resenting us. 13yo is going through a tough time with school as it is and I’m worried this will make things worse.
Ultimately this feels like a selfish decision for me and dh as we don’t have to move. Dh would honestly move tomorrow if he could he’s so excited. He has always hated here and we really don’t have many happy memories in this house. Even though it’s not so far from our old area, even just a couple of beers with friends would result in an extortionate taxi home or staying overnight there.
The house itself is smaller, and needs a lot more work done, but is in perfect position (literally a street over from where we first lived). There is only one toilet though (11yo has toilet issues with stoma bag)
Current house is a very large new build (when we moved in) but ultimately has never felt homely, and in all honestly I’m kind of trapped to just a few rooms due to my disability (2 flights of stairs).
Any ideas from the Mumsnet masses? Stay for the kids, or move for us?
Thanks in advance!