Does anyone use an app to spy on their DC's social media?

[ScottyDottyDooDah]

My 11 year old DD has TikTok, which I've locked down as much as I can with my limited technological knowledge. Hopefully, strangers can't view her vids, and she's protected to an extent, against seeing explicit content, although I know it's not foolproof :-(

She has TikTok, and indeed her phone, on the proviso that I have all of her passwords and I can see her phone whenever I like, although I'm placing trust in her to let me know if anything seems amiss. I don't go through anything on a regular basis, although I do have my own TikTom account in order to see what she's putting out into the world! (Mainly crap dancing to awful music! )

She's now asking for Snapchat. I've read that there are apps that allow me to see all of her activity on social media - is this a modus operandi I should be employing at the moment?

I'm not keen on her having it, but a number of her friends do (I have verified this!) and I don't want her to miss out. It's just such a scary world!

What do you do with your DC and your sosh meeds policies?

Oldest DC is 10yo and not allowed TikTok so that particular app is not an issue for us. He tries telling us that "everyone" has it but I remind him that I'm not everyone's mother, I'm his mother, and I say no. He knows that we'll consider it when he is older, same for FB, Instagram, etc.

His phone is set up so that every time an app is downloaded, the password is required. He doesn't know this password so has to bring the phone to me or DH to enter it before downloading anything. Our agreement is that we have access to everything on his phone and can check it at any time and that he comes straight to us if he is unsure about anything.

Yes, the proviso should be if you want a phone, I have access to all your social media accounts.

My children are now grown, but I had access to their social media. I didn't really need it, but it was a comfort to know that I could ensure there wasn't contact with adults.

Hi op, my dd is the same age and my approach is pretty much the same as yours. She had TikTok and I keep a close eye on who she allows to watch her incredibly cringy videos. All close friends plus overseas grandparents.

Snapchat I'm not so sure. I'm a bit concerned about the possibility of bullying (due to the disappearing nature of correspondence) Also I've downloaded it but can't quite get my head around it so not prepared to risk her outsmarting me!

Just really wanted to say you're normal, and your approach probably as vigilant as it can be. As parents we take our own approach, and there is no "right" way but I personally feel my dd at 11 would be isolated socially with no social media so we're doing it one step at a time

What are the names of these apps? (A friend asks)

I use Google Family Link so I can essentially control DS's phone. He needs approval for apps. He has instagram for SM but I won't allow any others, and I know his phone pin so can check when I need to. I won't allow Snapchat due to the fact stuff can disappear and I'd be none the wiser. I've blocked that and Facebook from his phone.