Please help me be the bigger person (difficult neighbour)

[Ohdeeeeer]

NC as don't want this linked to my other posts. Deliberately not going to recount the whole tale because I figure the likes of the Daily Mail will find it much less interesting then.

Our neighbour is a CF and a PITA. Think of the kind of person who waits til you are out and then does something that impacts on your property, when any reasonable adult would just have a chat about it in the first instance.

Neighbour has mental health problems and their behaviour can be erratic. They have recently taken umbrage to something we discussed with them, and that they agreed to last year. They are now passively aggressively doing various things to try and provoke us eg. Fixing gates to our property and then claiming our property is their property meaning the police won't get involved.

Last night we caught them rifling through our bins at 11.30pm, taking some stuff out and then pushing them over onto our flowerbeds in our garden.

It is soooooooooo hard trying not to react. How do I be the bigger person and try to get over this? I don't want to get stressed by it, but am finding it so hard. My sympathy for their health issues is waning rapidly, and they clearly have no regard for us whatsoever. We have no plans to move by the way, so that's not a goer!

Please MN, help

Could you go to the CAB office and ask them for help? This sounds mighty difficult to live with

Oh dear. There's not a lot you can do that doesn't involve spending £000s on lawyers, surveillance cams etc. But I would start with cameras. Get them trespassing and causing damage, and then you might have a chance at a harassment injunction. I'd get a copy of your deeds and theirs from the Land Registry to make sure of the boundaries, £3 each IIRC.

I would get some CCTV installed. Then you will have some concrete evidence to show the police.

I was just going to say about installing CCTV. Have you kept a diary of everything, dates times etc? Sounds awful.

Sympathies OP, we have a neighbour who has elements of that sort of behaviour, but yours sounds awful and deliberate. Our neighbour is just a bit stupid and a CF.

Agree with the previous suggestions of CCTV. You can build up evidence of harassment which the police could be interested in. I would suggest keeping the CCTV pointing nowhere near their property, it could provoke them.

The way we have dealt with ours is to politely but firmly challenge any behaviour of we witness it taking place. Though I appreciate that might not work in your case. We have also taken steps to further define the boundaries of our property, e.g. potted plants and trellis along the front garden boundary to stop their stuff gradually encroaching onto our property.

Can you keep the bins behind a gate or in the back garden? Just to keep them out of reach until bin day.

I would go around under the pretence you are worried about them and ask if they have lost anything as you note they are going through your bins.

The council have a vulnerable adult dept. Ring with your concerns..

You can get a bin lock, but it sounds like sorting this issue will just cause another to spring up. I agree with CAB, sorry theres not an easy fix