How do you stay positive during a run of bad luck

[Tentativesteps133]

2020 has been an annus horribilis for us so far. 3 grandparents critically ill in hospital/with advanced care needs, 1 with suspected cancer, other family issues involving social services, I'm currently 6 months pregnant and have had problems during the pregnancy, we were supposed to be moving house then I got made redundant so we can't get the mortgage, buyer pulled out of the purchase of our house. I could go on. We've tried to be pragmatic about everything as it occurs but I'm really finding it difficult now and every little thing just seems to be another thing to add to the list and it's starting to get me down. For example - I applied for a job when I got made redundant and found out today that I've only made the reserve list for interviews. Normally this wouldn't affect me as realistically it was unlikely I'd be able to do the job anyway with the new baby but I can't shake the funk this evening. I'm starting to catastrophise about things going forward too.

So - how do I get out of a negative mindset? I try to count my blessings and remind myself it could be worse but it doesn't seem to be working tonight.

I don't think you do always need to be positive. Sometimes things are really shit and piling more expectations on yourself to not be wounded by it can be unrealistic and unhelpful.

Sometimes things are shit and that makes you feel shit and that's normal. It won't always be like this. You can endure this. Time will pass and things will change. Things will get better.

For now, things are quite shit. So be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for being unhappy. Have a bar of chocolate.

I think sometimes you just need to let yourself feel angry and disappointed and frustrated and whatever else you might be feeling rather than trying to push those feelings away by attempting to put a positive spin on it.

It's been a really shitty time with multiple losses to grieve. It's natural to feel a bit down at least, but it's part of processing what you've been through. You might find if you stop fighting the feelings, validate them as understandable and be kind to yourself while you go through them you'll start to be able to feel other more positive things.

Things can always be worse but that doesn't mean they're ok or that you're not allowed to feel crap. Otherwise only one person in the world would be allowed to feel down at a time...

Maybe this evening instead of beating yourself up for not feeling positive, you scream into a pillow about the crappy hand you've been dealt and then do something kind for yourself like watching a favourite film.

Thanks user & hokolo - you both definitely put a different spin on it and are probably right, I should allow myself time to be upset and annoyed about things.

I'd love to drown myself in chocolate but have unfortunately given it up for Lent! Glutton for punishment or what ..

I've found channel 4 reports from Syria very sobering.

The first is I swear a lot at inanimate objects around the house. The hoover breaks or I stub my toe on a chair and all the fucks come flowing out thick and fast. Or I hang up the phone after a bad phone call and want it. "I fucking hate you stop fucking ringing just fucking break so that I don't have to listen to anymore bad fucking news your not even worthy of recycling you fucking piece of landfill fodder". Of course it's not the hoovers fault or the chairs or the phones. But it helps for some reason.

The second is I let myself ugly cry sometimes. Sometimes I even get a teddy and blanket to cuddle first. Like a toddler. It helps for some reason.

I try to find things to be grateful for. Sometimes these can be funny things like when I was like "at least I have a roof over my head I'll put that on there" just before my roof started leaking.

Which brings me nicely onto "try to find some humour in the situation" I have developed the ability to find it actually quite amusing when something else goes wrong. If all you have is a wry smile at the never ending Sod's law then you still are finding some humour. I like laughing at how little money I have and how crap professionals are and how many people cancel on me in a week. It breaks up the frustrated teeth gritting and fucking sweary rants at whoever has my on hold (I make sure to put the mute on too)

I'm just coming out of a tough few years, which peaked over the last few months. During which I was simply glad to get through each day.

There weren't many positive thoughts. I basically held on in the knowledge that it won't always be like that and I have to sit it out.

Slowly recovering now and tbh I'm struggling to find joy, to rediscover stuff I actually like doing for myself. I have forgotten it! Still got hang in for my mojo to come back. One thing is for sure. Things always change, and it can't all be bad!

Life can be like that. I'm not a cry into my teddy, or a super sweary person. I can find these maintain a vicious cycle of feeling crap. I find talking to friends helpful, and going to bed early. Plus exercise, but when it's bad I'm often too busy.

Hope things get better soon.