Can I report this to social care?

[Toddlerteaplease]

An elderly friend is completely self neglecting
He's very slow and unsteady on his feet. He's family live miles away and I've expressed my concerns to them. But he tells them everything is fine. It really isn't. He's got full capacity and refusing to do anything to help himself. Can I refer him anyway. He won't go to the GP.

Yes you can and I think you should.

You can, although if he has capacity he can refuse any help/assessment.

Thanks I'll do it now.

Well done Toddler.

They won't accept the refferal without his consent. I'll try and persuade him.

You can put in a safeguarding alert without consent. You'll end up in the same place as he has capacity so can refuse input, but it will at least put a note on the system.

It's great that you're going to speak with him to gently persuade him to seek help though.

I've Been trying for years to get him to help himself but he's so stubborn he won't. He's pushed everyone away and the only place he goes to now (cafe Nero) are very close to banning him as he absolutely stinks. (I would fully support them if they do this) apparently self neglect is a form of abuse so could do it that way. But I'm really not convinced they'll accept it. He had a minor stroke several years ago and a refferal by the hospital was rejected as he had me to help. Sounds awful but he's not really my responsibility and I've had enough of his refusal to help
Himself.

You can raise a safeguarding without his consent. Self neglect is a category under safeguarding in the Care Act - state this in your communication with Adult Services and they cannot refuse to accept the information.

Yes. That's what I'll do if he won't consent.

Can his next of kin refer without consent?

Can his next of kin refer without consent? Not unless they have power of attorney and he has lost capacity.

Though to be honest I think your ASC team are a bit OTT- it's certainly best practice to inform someone that you are referring and preferably get their consent but it shouldn't be mandatory. It's mandatory for the assessing officer to gain consent (or use best interest in the case of lack of capacity) before assessing, but not before receiving information from a referral.

I agree. As soon as they asked if he knew about it. That was it. I didn't get a chance to discuss my concerns. I am aware self neglect is classed as abuse. But I'm not sure how it does.

It's not abuse, but safeguarding and abuse are subtly different. Self neglect is now a safeguarding category as pp said. They cannot refuse to accept a a safeguarding referral because "safeguarding is everyone's responsibility"...

My local council do class it as did my safeguarding training at work. Though that is mainly child centred so I'm a bit rusty with adult safeguarding.

He is classed as a vulnarable adult if he is unable take care of himself and so council have a responsability to look after him. However, If he has mental ability then they can be limited in what they can do. But sounds like they should be doing something.

I now can't get hold of him. I've not heard from him since Sunday. Which is unheard of. Phone is going straight to answer phone. I know he was in town on Wednesday. As people saw him. Apparently he had a fall. I really don't want to go round in person as I'm
I'm
Tempted to ask the police to do a safe and well check. As that might give him a wake up call.

I think that would be a good idea OP, apart from anything else it might trigger some sort of safeguarding referral from the police if it's clear he's not looking after himself. Hope he's ok.

Sounds sensible Toddler a safe and well check could generate other referrals to add weight to your reports.
Good luck.

Yes ask for a police safety check.

I'll try and contact him again in the morning and call the police if i can't.. I really don't want to go round my self tbh as I'm scared of what I might find. And to be honest I've reached the end of my rope with him. I do care about him. But I've had enough. And at the end of the day, he is not my responsibility. He's not my parent.

Her the police to do a welfare check. A referral from them might hold more weight as well....

You can refer all you like, but unless he’s been officially deemed to lack capacity, nobody can force him to accept help, or even let anyone through the door.

Sorry to say it, but sometimes it will take a crisis of some sort before anything happens. Some old people are extremely reluctant to accept what they see as interference/strangers nosing into their affairs. Sometimes they are worried that they’ll be forcibly ‘put away’ in a home, though this is more likely in the older cohort nowadays. If you think this is a possibility it’d be worth pointing out that social services are typically far too cash-strapped to resort to 24/7 care unless they absolutely have no choice.

They may also be ashamed of the state of the house, and for that reason not want anyone to come in (and judge them.).

Please think about the implications of a "safe and well" check though. A friend of mine was recently subjected to one. A friend who has HFA and who had left hospital because they could not provide an autism-friendly space. Friend had a head injury and was "at risk". The outcome was that my friend was woken by 7 uniformed persons smashing their front door down, which caused a full blown panic attack and a meltdown.

I do fully understand your concern about your friend though, OP, and if you are unable to do anything further, then you don't have any alternatives.

Police Welfare check but also call the local hospitals as he may be in one after having the fall.

I have a very similar situation with my grandmother. She lives alone since my grandad died and has very bad vision. She completely neglects herself and refuses any kind of help, to the point where she will cut you out of her life if you push too hard, she has already done this to my uncle, her son. We don't know what to do. We have called adult social services, her gp, the council, everyone we can think of. She won't allow us to go and clean the house and help her, she won't allow anyone. What do you do? She's fully with it and is a grown adult at the end of the day. We can't force her but it kills us to see the state she's letting herself get in. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated xx