How can I stop caring what others think?

[CuntyBumpkin]

I care too much about what people think in so many scenarios. It impacts a lot doing things like public speaking.

Does anyone have any tips on how to not care about what people think about you?

I always think about that scene in Friends where Monica shrieks at Joey 'How can you not care?' He just shrugs, pulls a face and says 'Like this?'

We should be like Joey

Wait until you hit the menopause. You won't give a damn what anyone thinks of you. It's wonderfully liberating.

If you only realised how little people actually give a shit about anything you do, you would never be burdened with this insecurity again. Honestly, nobody cares. People are far too engrossed with their own issues to spend more than a millisecond thinking about what you're up to.

Meh..Caring about what other people think of you is useless. Most people don’t even know what they think of themselves

This is the thing isn't it? It's not logical to feel this way but so many of us do? Fears are by their nature illogical though.

The best thing for any anxiety is to exercise, get those endorphins going and tell those thoughts to fuck off! Also ensure you're getting enough B12 and vitamin D for mental health.

It's actually easy once you realise that what other people think of you is none of your business. What they say about you says something about them, not necessarily about you.

Keep in mind that you judge yourself probably 100 times harder then anyone else does and as @Aquamarine1029 says, people are far too occupied with their own business to really notice yours.

I really don't care what others think of me anymore and haven't for years. Apart from my family, others only know me by what I choose to tell them and that's not a lot.

I won't do things just to please people. Work colleagues know nothing of my life apart from what I do at work. They could well think and probably do think I'm odd or secretive, that's fine with me.

I'll never be nasty to anyone and will always treat people with respect, but I don't care about others opinion of me.

No matter how ridiculously chatty and oversharing I am, I will always know all the worst things about myself where as most other people don't know me half as well as I assume.

I've had a lot of the wrong people in my life from birth, I grew up round people who were constantly chastising me for things which they said would bother other people or which bothered them.

So I'm an adult who finds it almost impossible not to go about my every day life apologising to people for things they aren't even noticing, or being called self absorbed to think anything I say or do is actually that important to others.

It's something I've never been able to break. Round certain people I'm more relaxed but I'm a few months into a new job which involves me needing my best social skills and I actually have shit social skills, I'm not NT anyway but I think even if I was, I'd still have this social anxiety regarding the things I've had instilled in me.

CBT or DBT therapies can help. The main thing which helped me has been accepting myself as I am and learning to recognise my strengths whilst not denying the weaknesses. And, having the right people around me.

@Aquamarine1029 said it best. People aren’t thinking about you. Nobody cares, they’re too busy worrying about their own stuff to worry about you.

My late mum's reminder that everyone has to go to the loo, even the Queen, has helped me a bit. That and faking it.

Hi OP, I struggle with this a lot as well. Here is Russell Brand talking about this - and I find this helpful.

Thank you everyone, I am so glad I'm not alone in this.

It's completley right that people don't care. They have their own lives. I just wish that in those moments where I'm preoccupied with worrying about their opinions I could think that logically.

I did some public speaking this week and spent the time after panicking about what they thought of it. Why do I care? I was myself and don't intend to change that.

My mother (always an anxious/nervous type) once told me that if you find a particular person intimidating, shift your gaze just to the top of their head. It makes them wonder if there’s a bit of fluff or whatever there that shouldn’t be, makes them uncomfortable and distracts them from what they might be thinking about you.
If you can manage it, a very slightly, quietly amused little smile at the same time is a plus.

I can’t say I tried it very often but it does work.

And yes, imagining them on the loo, preferably with constipation, is a good one!

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER or if it's in a work environment, they could be thinking "this person is crap at eye contact"