Hi all,
I’m horrible at listening. I interrupt. I distract.
I’m not that horrible with certain people and naturally have empathy with friends and so on, but there are some conversations I find difficult to listen to and can manage the conversions in a way that kills off the connection- without realising consciously.
I look back at conversations and I want to bury my head in shame. I come across as interrupting , conversation hog, or self absorbed and attention seeking. But deep down I care so much it’s just that I don’t have it ingrained in me that talking helps anyone.
But the truth is, I struggle to manage sensitive feelings and emotions and so I deal with them in a weird way. It’s almost instinctive and I kick myself afterwards.
I believe it has alienated some friends and relatives. This wasn’t always the case but am currently feeling overwhelmed and I somehow feel like the person sharing their feelings with me are putting themselves out in the open, it almost feels like I’m looking at them naked and need to escape that feeling by interrupting them and minimising how they interpret things so they don’t delve deeper.
I prefer to provide a solution ASAP and not hear them all out.
Logically I know this is a wrong approach. I come across as arrogant. But truth is.. I just struggle to hear it.
Especially when the issue is someone expressing anger towards someone else I care about. Or if they expect my support on something that I disapprove of. I just don’t handle conflicting emotions very well and dislike being a mediator or in the middle. But I’m having to.
Do you have any advice ??