Paroxetine (or other antidepressants) and alcohol intake...particularly an massive increase in it.

[JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam]

So I’ve been battling with DH’s steep increase in alcohol intake in the last 6 months and last night made the connection that he started paroxetine for the first time at about the same time.

For background DH has an addictive personality and has so far battled an unhealthy relationship with alcohol in his teens, a severe drug addiction and most recently had weight loss surgery to help with a food addiction. I realise that the chances of him latching on to something new is high but wondered if anyone else had seen an link between a specific AD and alcohol intake?

Oh god, it's a minefield.

How much is he actually drinking?

You could ask in MH about people's experiences, obviously there's a close link between mental health issues and drug/alcohol intake.

If anyone has gone through that I'm sure they'd be happy to discuss. I think this is too much for you to handle on your own, keep a diary of it all for any future medical involvement

Frownette - a fair bit, he can sink around 2-3 bottles of gin a week. From someone who wouldn’t touch a drop of alcohol from one mo th to the next it’s quite a steep change.

There's no such thing as an addictive personality. And referring to such is unhelpful.
It defers from the real underlying issue of whatever it is that causes that person to binge on whatever it is that isn't good for them.

It's not a personality flaw. There's a reason which needs to be addressed.

Well thank for the helpful post picking that apart there. Whatever you want to call it some people have an inclination towards addictions more than other in society-this much is obvious!

And as for the reason-my DH cannot see any reason, he grew up in a normal household and has suffered no trauma. There is a possibility he’s on the autistic spectrum but that’s it.

Whatever you want to call it does not detract from the fact that my husband and others seem to fall into addictions easier than other people do

There’s a huge link between autism and alcoholism.

Is it possible that he’s trying to ‘self medicate’ using alcohol, drugs , food?
Has he ever had any sort of therapy or just been prescribed medication?

I don’t think @DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou meant to offend you.

Are you getting any support for you?

Mumsnet is my only support. I don’t know where to access it or how.

Just medication-never therapy but I don’t think he’d take to therapy anyway-he’s of the opinion he has nothing to talk to a therapist about. On paper other than the addictions he’s had a fairly straightforward life.

I think both of you could benefit from speaking to someone in real life.
Go to your Gp as a starting point and ask for help for yourself. Explain the situation. You don’t have to cope with this alone.

Him not having any to speak about and having a ‘normal’ upbringing is probably even more reason to get help, sadly no one can make him.

You can’t continue to support him if you aren’t being supported yourself.

Definitely gp. Al-anon might run groups in your area so you can talk to people in similar situations.

Have you got a friend/family that you'd feel comfortable talking to? You'll wear yourself out trying to 'solve' this by yourself.

Keep telling him he's drinking too much. There's another thread in chat where OP's husband seems to have got out of hospital fine for now, others shared some stories about harrowing deaths from drink. You don't want to find him having a seizure.

Mixing ADs and alcohol is a very bad idea as it will place a massive load on your liver and kidneys to metabolise both. If moderation is difficult then abstaining from alcohol completely is a good idea. I was told about 2 units of alcohol a week was about as much as I should have if on ADs.

I didn't mean to offend in the slightest.

I just meant that sometimes (or always) it's better to find out why someone isn't able to handle the real world without an aid.

And it's only then that the fixing can start.

Saying it's a addictive personality infers that it's down to a fixed part of the person no matter what they do. But that's not the case at all, because there's no such thing.

Anyway, it must be really tough, I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you all. So best of luck with the future.

Also it doesn't have to be because of trauma, a bad upbringing or anything like that.

It could be as simple as someone not feeling equipped to deal with certain things, or feeling inferior when they try or anything like that.
Normal stuff that might give anyone else anxiety.

Once it's learned that alcohol or drugs help, it's very difficult to undo that learned behaviour and it's very quickly forgotten why they started in the first place. Because it's all a blur. Which is the whole point. To blur it.

The problem with ADs without therapy eg CBT is that you're not really developing the alternative coping strategies that will allow you to come off the ADs in due course.
The intro to the Feeling Good handbook talks about this.

What counselling did he receive before the weight loss surgery?

It sounds like some sort of compulsive behaviour.

Unless or until he confronts what causes it, he's set to keep going.

@Gingernaut none-it was done privately.

I’m beginning to realise that there seems to be a path of destructive behaviour going on. The hardest thing is-hes not an arsehole drunk-in fact he’s reasonably pleasant (he used to be a bit of a tit on beer but he doesn’t drink that now) so where do I set my limits? At what point do I say enough is enough? I’m confused.

He needs psychotherapy.

You also need support.

This self destruction will take you with him, if you don't set up clear boundaries.

You've done a lot for him already - have you contacted al-anon in your area to see if there are any groups? It might really help to speak to people IRL

Frownette-not yet, but I have made an appointment with my gp. I’ll look at al-anon whilst at work tomorrow.

Gingernaut-at this moment in time I am not able to get him to engage with it-unfortunately I can’t force him.

Hence me trying to work out where my boundaries are-whilst I can’t force him I guess at some point I have to say enough is enough .

It's a huge problem he doesn't think there is a problem.

Anyway good luck with GP and try to relax the rest of the evening and not think about him

UPDATE

He’s stopped taking them-not advisable by the way you are supposed to taper down but he’s willing to take the side effects- and already the cravings seem to have reduced. I’m not counting my chickens yet though.

I wondered how you were getting on - best of luck with the withdrawal phase

Thank you Frownette, we know what we are in for, in his 5 years on ADs he’s tried to stop a few times for a few months at a time.
I have done ALOT of reading about withdrawal, what to expect etc and with his previous stopping I think I’ve got a handle on it-I know it’s not going to be straightforward. I’ve done a lot of learning about SSRIs and I have come to the conclusion they aren’t always the medical miracle we are led to believe. No one has ever told us that there is a dip a few months after stopping-so we’d always assume that the depression was back-we’ve discussed this and we are going to try and work through this dip and see how he fares.

One thing we have done is reopened lines of communication-which has been a real positive.

I wanted to update you guys, you were all a lifeline 2 months ago-gave me somewhere to dump.

Well drinking has now reduced to almost recommended levels. There’s still more than there used to be...but we’ve gone from drinking every day to now having a small amount of alcohol 1/2 times a week. At one point he couldn’t get through the evening without several drinks. He’s rediscovered his love for tea and coffee again. .

Life isn’t perfect and we are having to manage the current dip in mood-but we are talking lots and I feel a cloud has lifted.