Depressed alone no where to turn Fibromyalgia

[Kmx123]

I just made this as i dont know where to turn and need to vent
I left a toxic domestic relationship in December after having enough of trying to cover the bruises and abuse and having my 3 children witness it i am living in a hostel in one room the 4 of us sharing the facilities with others
I feel so alone and my 8year old son is lashing out he needs his own space he has just started a new school and struggling my other son has development delay and is getting sent for a autism assessment
Im in pain with my fibromyalgia and sciatica and just feel really unsupported i had to be moved far away and have no friends or family to turn to no one in the hostel speaks english my ex partner left me in a lot of debt and had control over the finances so i dont have much money
Im trying to start a new life but i feel so depressed short tempered down im constantly crying im lonely dont get me wrong im happy to be away from it but its been about 2 weeks since i even spoke to another adult

So sorry you're feeling so low. The best thing you did was leave so you're actually stronger than you think.

You're bound to feel low after going through all that.

Can you speak to your GP about support for your mental health and citizens advice
for all the other things like benefits you're entitled to, housing and debt management etc

Chin up

Are you in the UK OP?
Will you be housed in the area you’re in now?
Well done for getting away from a violent bully btw

Can you ask your Friends and family to meet up for a coffee and a chat?
Obviously this isn't going to solve your problems, but it might help you feel not so alone?
Well done for getting away, this is the lowest point, things will be better again.

You poor thing

Sounds such a massive amount of stressors to be up against, whilst battling 2 really painful and debilitating physical conditions as well.

(You won't believe it whilst everything must feel so bleak, but, truly, you deserve so much admiration and respect for just functioning day-to-day.

To have also had the courage to leave a hellish relationship, and be coping with the fallout from changed circumstances, probably makes you question whether it's all worth it?

YES IT IS.

You have done a wonderful thing.
For yourself, and for your kids).

FamilyLine may be a great source of support/advice:

www.family-action.org.uk/what-we-do/children-families/familyline/

• Telephone: 0808 802 6666
• Text message: 07537 404 282
• Live web chat

"We are here to provide a listening ear, answer particular parenting questions or help with guidance around more complex family issues. We can also provide longer-term support through regular sessions with our Befrienders and Counsellors. All support takes place via telephone, text message, web chat or email and is FREE."

Worth a try?
Good luck: keep us posted.

BTW, they operate Monday to Friday, 9am - 3pm & 6pm - 9pm

Did your DC move schools? Any mum's you can get to know there?
It will get better. Keep trusting in that.

Mums not mum's. Autocorrect

I think you have done a wonderful thing to get away from the abuse, for you and your children. It may not seem so at the moment but already you are on the road to something better. I know how awful fibromyalgia can be. It sometimes flares up in times of stress and you have certainly been through plenty of that. Can you call the Samaritans to speak to a sympathetic human? You can call them as often as you like.

This is rock bottom OP

You have done the right thing for yourself and your children.

Have you spoken to your children's school(s)? They can help your children settle and offer support if they know the situation.

Have you applied for housing?

And why not have a good cry occasionally? You have a hell of a lot on your plate.

Go talk to your GP, you might need to alter meds temporarily and you might benefit from antidepressants short term you will certainly benefit from talking to another human being. Ask what services they have, mine has a psychologist one day a week and also a patient panel.

I know it's difficult to get out with a painful condition but do try.

Also there is always someone on here to talk to.

I'm quite often awake in the early hours so I come on here and make virtual coffee and toast. and people say why they are awake.

Have a virtual hug and a slice of toast.

This will pass and it will get better.

Are the kids in school? Do you have support from domestic violence services?

I would recommend doing the freedom programme just as a place to speak to other people who have been through similar things. Even just as a change of scenery and a hot cup of tea. They usually have crèche facilities.

If 8 year old is at school (or whichever children are) I'd recommend a meeting with the school to see what help they can offer.

It may not be fibromyalgia or it may not just be fibromyalgia, trauma can have a lasting effect on mind and body. December is not long ago. You will still be in shock, survival mode and flight or fight.

It's horrible they can do this to us (and our children) and then the system is shit afterwards too. You don't get a big warm cuddle from society and a council house handed to you, you get shitty housing and no support. But it does get better eventually. Day by day things begin to improve. I promise. I have been where you are

thanks for the replies everyone
I am just trying to take everyday as it comes
I left with the clothes on our backs and a bag each and a few toys for the kids i dont have no immediate family and my only friend i had we no longer speak due to my ex partner he smashed all of her windows and car trying to find out where we was as i tried to leave before he has been arrested done prison time he would wait outside the schools even though there is court orders non molestation orders ect
My older 2 are in school full day and my youngest does half day nursery in a new area my daughter has adjusted well but the boys are finding it harder i did have support from domestic services they have not been so helpfull recently i have applied for benefits ect but still waiting i left my job when we moved i have nothing i had to open a new bank account and everything
I have never been housed by the council as we was renting but the place was in his name i believe i am on a waiting list hoping to be housed close and dont want to change the schools again
Im trying to keep most of it to myself because it makes me seem like a bad mum and i feel all the other mums that are happily married ect will just look down on me
I got the kids some cheap uniforms they are still in there 1 pair of clothes out of school i just got joggers from primark my daughters birthday is in 2 weeks really hoping the money situation gets sorted out
And i think it is fibromyalgia thats what ive been told but i am ana
Positive i believe as my mother had lupus but i dont have enough criteria to diagnose
Just trying to stay positive and hope for better days

You need to register with the local GP asap. You need a formal diagnosis.

Is your support worker helpful? Do you have ID and paperwork on you'?

Try CAB for help with debt.

Things will get better, slowly, but they will

I am diagnosed with ana positive fibromyalgia
I am not really getting much assistance from anyone i have been in contact but they are not very helpfull
I only have my driving licence
I sold my car when i moved as i didnt want him to find us thats the only money ive been living off

Oh you're not registered for benefits? Do that ASAP, this afternoon.

Driving licence is good, photo ID.

This all sounds awful no wonder you are depressed. I agree you need to get registered for benefits though and make sure you are on the housing list. Also talk to dc school again they can offer support with behaviour and may be able to donate some uniform as well as dc may be entitled to some things like free clubs and free school meals if you aren't getting that already. Also do see the CAB for financial advice and help with benefits and debt management. I know it's a lot to do but these things can take ages so you need to get signed up right away.

Hi yes i have applied i am waiting for first payment to come through although there are people suppose to be supporting they havent really helped i was suppose to be in a safe house for domestics however where i am staying is not its a shared house although i do have talk with them and social services have phoned twice thats all really but that was only to do with a assault

Ok that's good benefits are in hand.

Can they transfer you to safe house? I think you need to keep nagging them every day

I have been but its hard to get a place when you have 3 kids on tow as many of the rooms are only for 1 adult and 1 or 2 kids there are some with more but its the availability and as there in school now it would have to be close When i left in December they told me i could come to this place or manchester

It's tough for you at the moment. Don't lose hope

There's always someone around on here if you just want a chat

You are doing really well OP. You got out and you'll be on an upward path as soon as the money starts arriving regularly and you get a home. My fingers are crossed that you'll have that within a couple of weeks. What is the council waiting list like where you are? I hear some authorities are better than others. I couldn't understand from your post if you have actually been to the council's housing office? What did they say? I would go every couple of days if I were you.

I keep reading things about Fasting to help. I know not eating sounds like the last bit of misery to add to a tough life but might be worth a shot.

Just wondering how you're getting on, OP?

Hope this week's been easier so far.