Homesickness- 20 years on. Ridiculous?

[DorsetCamping]

I met DH at university and at the time we decided it was best in terms of career if I moved to be near him.

We have since married, had children and my DM even moved to be closer to us. BUT As ridiculous as it sounds I am so homesick. I miss everything about my hometown, the people, the
Place, probably Because it is 100% different to where I live now. I have friends here but it's not the same and even though I visit as regularly as I can, I miss it and people with all my heart.

There is no chance of moving back mainly because DH runs his own business, not to mention how DC would feel, but it just makes me so sad

I feel homesick every time I go home and I've lived away for 30 years now.

I don’t get homesick much but a few years ago I sat in the field when I used to play as a child and cried because I missed it so much.
It’s not the same place now.m, I couldn’t move back. I think I missed the past more than the place.

So, when I was a child I moved abroad with my parents to a country in Asia for my dad's work. I came back to the UK for university and have never lived there again. My dad no longer lives there. I couldn't get a visa to work there most likely and I am still in touch with maybe three or four school friends there.

I miss it hugely almost every day. I can't even talk much about it as I always think people might find it weird - a white British girl yearning for this foreign country but it was home for 15 years and in some ways still is. Some things I've never felt right with since I left. Very strange, I guess. But it's how I feel.

@FlamingoAndJohn I completely and utterly relayed to your post with my whole heart

@FlamingoAndJohn related. Damnit.

I moved countries 14 years ago and still miss the UK sometimes. I love where I live now and objectively, it is much nicer than my hometown but sometimes I just want to go to the Asda and get UK food and then go home and watch Corrie or Eastenders or something!

Like a pp I think a lot of it is missing a different time as much as the place, and you can never get that back of course.

I can’t move back to the UK due to exh, and that upset me for a while but I’ve accepted it now because sometimes that’s all you can do. So no answers here OP, just wanted to say that I totally get how it feels to be homesick even after a long time.

Yes maybe it is more the memories now than the reality. Actually to an outsider (including DH) it might even come across as a bit of a shithole, but it was/is my home. Every time I visit or think about it, I am overcome with nostalgia

I couldn't wait to leave home and as soon as I was at college I did everything possible to avoid going back there.

2 weeks ago I flew back to visit my parents for the weekend, from the US, because I miss it so much! It's definitely a lot to do with wishing I could turn back time.

The thing is, if you did manage to move back now it would probably not be like you remember it any more....as a pp said it's more the past that you miss than the place. But I understand that yearning feeling so well. You need to accept it and mourn for it when it crops up.

I moved away from the place I lived and loved twenty years ago. I still miss it everyday. We moved there when we returned to this country after living abroad for a number of years, I was 16ish. I would love to move back but my children have made their lives where we moved to. I would be moving away from them and my grandson and that doesn't seem right.

I just wish I'd put foot down at the time and stayed put. With hindsight my career prospects would've been more promising in that region and I'd have stayed with close support network.

Apologies for the self-indulgent wallowing

Maybe it would help if you had a plan about how you want your life to be, and how you could make changes if there’s anything you’re unhappy about? If moving home isn’t feasible it might be best to learn to live with that, but there might be other things that you could change and that would make life better in your current area. Easier said than done and I hope that doesn’t come across as patronising.

45 yrs since I left my home city at age 19. Lived in London for 20yrs and my current city for 25yrs.

Home city still feels like home.

I get it. I get homesick for somewhere I left 37 years ago and I've never been back.