Secondary school parents

[sparkypigeon]

I've been thinking about my hours at work as a few days a week I finish work after 5.

Currently DS is Y4 and attends after school club. When he starts secondary school in year 6, would you say the average year 6 would be able to cope with walking home from school and being home alone until around 5:45pm?

How old is a Y6?

Secondary is normally y7 aged 11/12. Lots of y6s will walk home form primary.

So long as they’re not scared of being home alone, I wouldn’t see it as an issue at that age. My DD is hopefully be going to do that herself at that age too!

Sorry I meant year 7 Would you say he would be fine staying at home for 2.5 hours until I got home?

Sorry I meant year 7 Would you say he would be fine staying at home after school for 2.5 hours until I got home?

It obviously depends on the individual child, but I think for your average 12 year old this would be fine. It’s what a lot of year 7s do.

My DD is 11 and in year 7. She gets the bus to school as it is too far to walk. She gets off a few minutes walk from the house and lets herself in at about 4. I then get home between 5.45 and 6.15 depending on where I pick her younger sister up from.

She manages without any problems and is quite happy to do it. They change quite a lot between year 4 and year 7 so it is probably quite difficult at the moment to imagine how he will be.

My daughter is yr 7 and an August born (actually youngest in the school). She walks to and from the bus stop alone (goes to school about 30 mins from home), she gets home to the bus stop about 4.30 and two night is then home alone until 5.30/45. She will make her own dinner as she has activities to get ready for and manages just fine. She always keeps in touch via mobile to let us know she is home etc. We found that the difference between finishing yr 6 and starting yr 7 really made a difference to her maturity. For full disclosure we live in a village although a pretty large one!

Probably, depends a bit on the kid. Some like it, others not so much (lonely, bored etc)- most will be fine. There is also a big difference between twice a week and every day.
Don't forget if you encourage afterschool activities (sports, art club etc) they can stay on site for an hour or so after school. Which helps.

Thanks for all of the replies, it's making me feel a bit better. I'm having to consider a change of hours but ideally wanted to keep to the longer days 2 - 3 times a week, so it's a big relief to think that this may just work.

Is Y7 around the age that children are OK being left at home during the school holidays, rather than going to a holiday club?

You can tell I have no idea about children growing up

13yr old (year 8) DS still goes to a sporty holiday club. He'd just sit in front of a a screen all day otherwise. However I work part time so the most he has to do it is three days a week.

Mine did starting Y7 but I get home after an hour at most but every day. I work term time though. Now Y8.

My DS has 20 mins alone in the morning as well and locks up before walking to school. He's Y5.

They love being alone - screen time !

Would probably not leave my Y7 alone all day more than I had to tbh. It's a long day from 8-6. I tend to take time off, work from home (I know not an option for all), organise for her to go round a friends, activity of some kind etc.

We don't leave our yr 7 alone all day - he is a young one though with birthday end July. There are various after-school clubs until about 4.15 and a homework one which is supervised and runs until 5 - he gets homework out of the way which is a win win for everyone.

I wouldn't leave them at home all day in the holidays, they'll be bored/spend all day on screens and might decide to go and cook something.

My ds is in year 7...he doesn't do this as I'm a sahm but lots of his friends do. I think it's generally fine.

I wouldn’t leave DD all day in the holidays, I have started taking half day’s using my holiday entitlement so she’s on her own until 12, by the time she’s got up, had breakfast, bit of screen time, she gets ready for us to do something when I get back. On the occasion I haven’t got back until 2pm she’s been quite pleased to see me so I don't think she’d like me gone all day. She has started to let herself in after school and okay doing this as DS, DH arrive home within an hour and I’m not far behind.

I didn't leave mine in holidays all day till year 8 but ds walked home from school and spent a couple of hours alone till I got home in y7. I started building things up slowly so I'd let him walk to school alone or send him to the local shop or I'd pop out and leave him at home and build the length of time (from year 6). I'm currently doing this with Dt who are in y6. Both ds's seem/ed comfortable with being left home alone /walking to school alone however dd is having to take it more slowly (just different personalities).

My DD walked 30 minutes home from school in y7. Shed also have been more than happy on her own until 6. In reality she tended to do an after school activity and get home at 5.15, or go to the shops/ park/ McDonald’s/ cafe/ a friend’s house and get in at 6-6.30.

She would be fine home alone in holidays too (haven’t had to do this much though, mostly because she split the holidays between me and XH, and I use my leave in the time she’s here if possible). She’d sleep until 10, make breakfast about 11-12, FaceTime friends endlessly or go out for 4-6 hours to their house/ shops. She probably wouldn’t bother with lunch but would help herself to snacks.
There isn’t really any holiday provision for secondary age, so I assume plenty are home alone.

We did short days in the school holidays in years 7 and 8, so half days of leave, a bit of working from home, going in early / leaving early. Plus a few local sport camps (DCs could get there and back by themselves). Grandparents came over for the occasional day too.

We started leaving DD alone after school the odd day at the end ofY6 to see how it works. She took to it like a duck to water but we already tested a lot by leaving her on a weekend for an hour or so.

While secondary school do often have things going on afterwards there is not a guarantee that is really going each week and we found that the two hours DD is home between coming home herself and me arriving is not a lot.

She eats, changes, does homework and then may watch TV or similar.

We have no holiday club for older children so by default she is a lot on her own. I found that they need time to decompress so she uses these days to do not a lot and on others when DH and I am off we do an activity.

There is a huge jump in development when they are 10-11 and I found DD craves the independence and not wanting mummy around all the time.

I work in the office twice a week and my Y7 DD comes home from school and alone for a couple of hours. She starred doing it towards the end of Y6. She really enjoys eating biscuits and watching TV without me in her ear about homework and crumbs.

If she forgot her key or something spoked her, we do have friends and neighbours that she knows she can go to.

I asked her if she felt ok with being left alone all day if I went to to and she said no, she wasnt ready yet.

Mine have taken to being left alone like ducks to water (started gradually from about age 9 by popping out for ten mins or so here and there. But full 8-6 days can be a bit long in a small town like ours, there are very few places to go and hang out with friends, my DCs friends by and large don't live in town (secondary schools serve wide rural catchments) so the half day thing worked well, they could be at home / pop to town etc in the morning and one of us could take them places in the afternoon.

Thanks for this thread. I've been worried about my PFB who is in Y5 and wondering how we'll cope when he goes to secondary.

This thread has reassured me he'll be ok til I get home at 5!