Help! Baby 4 month sleep regression...

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Just really looking for some structured advice of anyone that has been through this before. I have a 16 week old little girl who up to a week or two ago, could self soothe pretty well I could put her down awake and she had really decent naps. She went down at 7/7.30 wakes up to feed at 3/4 and then wakes up around 7.30. Since the regression... she naps for 30 minutes at a time (goes down well and awake but cannot get past 30 mins) is grumbly because she is tired. At night she sleeps from
7/7.30 until 10/11, remains asleep for the dream feed and has another feed at 3/4 BUT also now wakes at 5 and 6am. I would really appreciate advice as I’m finding it really hard at the moment. Everything I’ve read says she needs to be able to put herself to sleep, which doesn’t help as she can put herself off to sleep... she cannot stay asleep! After 3/4am feed wakes every few hours crying...

It's really hard. Both mine turned into terrible sleepers from the four month regression. They'd wake up every 40 minutes and need feeding back to sleep, it was torture.
DC1 got a bit better on their own about 23 weeks. With DC2 we had to sleep train at 7 months because nobody was getting more than an hours sleep in one go and we were all exhausted.

We also had the issue of them being able to self settle to sleep but not resettle. It's a nightmare.

Is her room completely dark? Do you have white noise on? Do you have a routine before bed/naps with wind down time- feed, story, song, and a phrase you always repeat eg "it's sleepytime now, sleep tight, it's sleepytime now"?
Is she definitely warm enough in the early hours of the morning?
Just trying to think if there's anything else easy to change that may help.

Thank you. Yes room is dark, we use white noise and also change nappy, put her in the sleep sack and have a very calm little talk to her, she often goes down very happy initially. It’s the resettling that’s the problem, it’s perfectly pinpoint 30 minutes. She needs to be picked up and then she is impossible to put down again to continue napping. I feel like the odd day she has good naps she sleeps better at night but she’s just not able to get back to sleep!!

Have you tried shush pat (I’m back) or just ignoring her?

Yes tried butt taps, putting my hand on her chest too. I’ve tried leaving her when she’s winging a little but I just can’t when she’s full blown crying. It just feels a bit hopeless!

This is completely normal and it will pass. Mine had a horrific 4 month sleep regression and literally did not sleep, we had had to just work in shifts through the night. But he did get better and slept well.

At 4 months they’re still tiny babies and shouldn’t need to worry about self soothing, they need their parents. It sounds like you’re doing everything right, I found it much less stressful when I stopped trying to ‘fix’ things and just accepted it.