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Original poster

Immature 6 year old - how can I help?

26 replies

ShoppingBasketOfCars · 28/02/2020 17:10

My 6yo DS seems very immature for his age. Academically he's above average but his behaviour is basically just very annoying.

Mucks about all the time. Uses silly voices. Easily distracted. It is driving us all crazy and particularly affecting his relationship with DH, who doesn't have the patience for the constant mucking about.

Does anyone have any tips for improving concentration? I am wondering if I need to ditch our TV - he doesn't watch loads but maybe 30-60 mins after school. I'm wondering if he needs to spend that time learning something instead - to pay attention. But I'm lost really!

OP posts:
Cuddling57 · 28/02/2020 17:16

I'm not sure you can use the word immature and six year old in the same sentence!
Is he being naughty or just being himself?
I wouldn't subject a child that young to extra learning and no tv after school.
Maybe you need to lower your expectations and just go with the flow. They all go through different phases and they are constantly changing.

TeenPlusTwenties · 28/02/2020 17:18

What kind of mucking about?

I'd maybe try to make sure you really praise when he is acting sensibly or concentrates. The rewarding desired behaviour thing.

Also, being clear on expectations. e.g. DS we are about to sit down for our meal. I'd like you to a) stay sat for the whole meal, b) use your cutlery c) chat nicely. If you do that then after tea we can do .

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 28/02/2020 17:19

Hahaha Grin Want to swap him for my 8yo? You'll regret it....

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6 year olds Behaviour & development Families
Nonnymum · 28/02/2020 17:24

He sounds like a typical 6 year old to me! 6 is very young. Mnay six year olds (probably all) use silly voices, mess about and are easily distracted. They are under a lot of pressure at school, even in year 1 and I think most will want to relax. And be a bit silly at home

Original poster
ShoppingBasketOfCars · 28/02/2020 17:24

What kind of mucking about?

He's just so disruptive. Silly noises, running around, hitting his bottom (?!), constant fidgeting....

He went to two after school clubs (karate, gym) but we had to withdraw him as he just didn't pay attention or listen. And yet he enjoyed them. He wants to start Beavers but I fear the same and he doesn't seem to recognise the issue.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShoppingBasketOfCars · 28/02/2020 17:25

To be clear, if it was just at home, we'd cope but this is constant. And his peers aren't the same at all. They tell him to stop it!

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Peaswithit · 28/02/2020 17:30

Sounds like he’s maturing emotionally at a different rate to some of his friends. Could it be that he’s struggling to articulate strong emotions? Perhaps you could talk to him about emotions and feelings by looking at some books wit characters that are happy/ sad/ silly etc (eg Winnie the Pooh). Definitely don’t give him more discipline!

PanicAndRun · 28/02/2020 17:30

He is a normal 6 yo. There is nothing immature about that, would be different if he was 10. What do his teachers say? Do they have any concerns? How is his behaviour at school? How is he doing socially? Does he have friends,interact appropriately with his peers etc?

DD is 8 and still does some of those things, because she finds them funny and they make her happy.

5zeds · 28/02/2020 17:33

I think he is who he is. If he isn’t good at sitting and listening take him cycling or to a park/beach after school? Why does he have to be trained to be more “mature” it sounds like a recipe for MH problems.

ErrrNo · 28/02/2020 17:34

He sounds similar to my youngest son who is on the spectrum. Do you think that's a possibility at all?

ErrrNo · 28/02/2020 17:38

However I do agree with 5zeds. He is who he is and could quite easily be maturing at a differing rate. You and your dh need to accommodate that . Does he do much physical exercise?

redferrari · 28/02/2020 17:42

Isn't that totally normal for his age. That amount if tv is pretty normal and I don't think it's should affect him. Is he getting enough sleep? Tiredness can affect moods. My 7 year old can be off when his sleep isn't enough (if he has woken up for wee or drink and struggled to fall asleep). Have the school said anything?

managedmis · 28/02/2020 17:46

Sounds like my 6 year old

Says 'poo' and finds it hilarious constantly playing up, daft as a bat etc

What do you expect, Stephen Fry?

PanicAndRun · 28/02/2020 17:55

Cross posted. If the teachers also have concerns have a meeting with them and see what they suggest, what will be put in place to support him, what works what doesn't.
If you are worried about SEN ask about an assessment.

Let him be at home unless he is actually naughty ,destructive or violent. Play simple board games, practice taking turns, playing with play doh/lego and just have fun with him. He's six and wants to be silly,have fun and mess around , home is where it should be safe to do so. Find your inner child and join in with the silly voices and crazy moves. Have designated short quiet times like homework or reading where you are comfortable but sit still and calm and focus on the task at hand. Expose him to various environments where different behaviours are expected.

Bogoffrain · 28/02/2020 17:58

My DS was exactly the same at six, seemed way behind his peers and very immature. He grew up between 7-8 and is now a very mature sensible 9 year old.

GeorgeTheFirst · 28/02/2020 17:59

It sounds as though his behaviour could be better. It's all about positive reinforcement, catching him being good, quietly correcting the silliness. IME.

GreenTulips · 28/02/2020 18:02

He needs something coming rather than high energy

Have a look for yoga or similar

Kids who can’t sit still need to learn how to.

tashakg89 · 28/02/2020 18:08

My six soon to be seven year old is the same. I also have a four nearly five year old and I'd say his immaturity is on par with his younger brother. I worry about it also as his peers seems a lot more mature, he's a very sociable child but doesn't seem to have a l out of friends and I worry this is why. he is also one of the youngest in his year.

SunshineAvenue · 28/02/2020 18:11

what do you expect, Stephen Fry? 😂

RedElephants · 28/02/2020 19:13

I work in RY, Y1 & Y2 sounds about normal to me Wink

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 28/02/2020 19:41

According to his autobiography, Stephen Fry was similar at that age. Very high maintenance, attention seeking and a right little sod rebel.

Original poster
ShoppingBasketOfCars · 28/02/2020 19:49

He's in Y2 and it just seems to me that his friends are ditch more sensible. He has friends but they do get fed up of him. He's quite content on his own though when they leave him so not much incentive to change.

We play board games and he gets distracted so easily - constantly asking questions, not going with the run of play.

I hear why you say about just letting him be. And school aren't concerned as he doesn't disrupt the lesson part (and the school is very play focussed). And I don't really see any SEN.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShoppingBasketOfCars · 28/02/2020 19:50

@JesusInTheCabbageVan 😆 Daren't tell DH that - he can't stand Stephen Fry!

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Onceuponatimethen · 28/02/2020 20:06

Could be very mild adhd or could just be needing time to grow up.

I think what might help us talking about what you expect in terms of good behaviour eg

We don’t do x at the table

And then just reinforcing it

PanicAndRun · 28/02/2020 20:35

Does he have siblings?

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