Marriage problems

[Englandpakistan12345]

Hello everyone I have been married to my husband for 8 years now and I don’t know what to do I love my husband but there is no respect between us what so ever and he is a very difficult person to talk to seriously you can’t say anything to him without him arguing with you saying you are wrong I just feel like he doesn’t listen to me or thinks I’m dumb child and I get frustrated.Even when my father passed away he was fighting with me saying why can’t you do this propally fighting with me about everything.

Now coming towards me by all means I’m not perfect person of course I must annoy him as well and I tend to swear a lot when I’m angry and swear at him as well which I admit to him that do have a fowl mouth and he has said to me that sometimes that I torture him with the stuff I say when I’m angry but what frustrates me even more is that ok if I’m angry at something or having a bad day why does he think he has the right to hit me push me onto the sofa grabs my face puts his fist upto me I have never hit him in the 8 years and I have recently had to resort in hitting him back becuase I am not going to tolerate him touching me like that.

On top of that when I talk to him that why he hits me he lies and says oh I was just defending myself becuase you might me hit me or he just says learn to respect me or I will hit you so I’m just thinking of course I must not be a good wife if he is hitting me or I just plain deserve it so I’m just thinking now so every time we have a fight or I swear or raise my voice little bit he’ll hit me and he says it’s not being abusive.

Like I have mentioned yes I am disrespectful but only when my limit has been reached I can’t take the stress don’t I have a right to get angry without him getting close to me. Today I sat down with him to discuss problems and he doesn’t listen to anything I have to say or my feeling just said to me you are the biggest problem it’s all u but he never admits what he does to me and then when I told him he got up and put his fist on my face and kept squeezing my face on both sides so I got up and slapped him. 😔

And just now he messaged me saying we both need to respect each other I said yes that’s fine but I am not going to tolerate you laying your hands on my and I am not happy and I will discuss this with my family and he said go ahead embarrass yourself I don’t touch you it’s all in your head you like to exaggerate things.

Have you got family nearby? You need to leave he’s violent and he may kill you one day

Also contact Women’s aid for help and advice, when he hits you again call 999

Overall he’s a good husband though great with kids supports me gives me money but it’s only when he hits me I think it’s just me becuase I am also disrespectful. I wouldn’t say I’m scared of him but this is not unusual in Asian culture and he only does this when we have fight but the fact that he hits me then I resolve to hitting him back is not normal and why does he keep on blaming me and saying it’s all your fault.

The fact that you think that being hit is normal is beyond me. He’s not a good husband or a good father if he’s abusing their mother . Google freedom programme. That’s not normal

Its completely unacceptable for him to hit you
Can you call the police next time it happens?

“Overall he’s a good husband though great with kids supports me gives me money“

Where are the children when his hitting you? I highly doubt he loves you, love means respect you can’t love someone without respecting them.

Start a plan, save some money and don’t look back. It takes time however hitting him back will only lead to things escalating more than it already has.

Please look up what gaslighting is, him saying he hits you to defend himself is very much what a perpetrator would say.

Oh goodness this is terrible. None of this is normal and his behaviour will be having an impact one way or another on your children. Often people are quick to say leave, but in this case I honestly think you should.

It does long term damage for child to live in a house with domestic violence.

Get yourself and your kids out of there.