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Reaching out to stay at home mums about socialising

12 replies

Cookiecrumble887 · 28/02/2020 09:50

Good morning. with my first child we went to a few baby groups and play groups, because my best friend also had a child the same age. there was a downside to 1 of the play groups, my child to seemed to get a stomach bug from there every couple of months so I packed up going to that one because it just looked a bit run down. I carried on taking her to the sure start centre until she started nursery before school.

my little boy is 2 and his first couple of years have been a completely different experience. There are two classes at the sure start centre but neither of them would work around the school runs for us. I'm ok with that because really I'm not sure that I do want to go to them on my own anyway. I found everyone had their groups already.

we've not been able to do a lot this winter because I can't drive but we go out for 2-hours everyday to do school runs. we walk through a grassy park with a river everyday so there is opportunity for him to run around and feed the ducks and play on the swings etc. as spring kicks in there's plenty more park areas around,so he will be able to go out and about a bit more when the weather allows it.I kind of plan to sort some sort of childcare out for him when he gets funded in January.I haven't quite worked out whether to send him to a nursery or childminder or a preschool because I have to really consider the distance between school and the nursery.it's a little bit tricky but in 2.5 years time they will both be at school together and it'll be a lot easier.

I made a passing comment this morning on the school run that because of all the rain and stuff we've been in the house a little bit more than I'd like recently. We like being outdoors so we're definitely looking forward to Spring. My friend said that he could do with doing the things that we did with our little ones. She said it will help him prepare for school and do him the world of good. she asked me if I knew anybody else with a child his age and I actually don't particularly know anybody with a child his age.I am getting to know a mum from school who has a little boy the same age actually but he goes to nursery 5 mornings a week.it's a shame otherwise I could ask this mum if she would like to go to the park and stuff with us. I know deep down he will be fine and he's got a big sister to play with and we'll get out and about a lot more in the better weather. He will also do a year and a half roughly of childcare before starting school. I'm just feeling a little bit guilty that he hasn't really had as much chance to socialize as my daughter did. I just wondered what people do who don't particularly use baby groups and things. I know it's a positive thing to use these groups but you don't have to and for different reasons people choose not to use them.he has just turned two you so it's ok isn't it for him to be with me most of the time at the moment?

Also my friend who said this has a car so she nips to town easily and to to grab this and go there. My son gets fed up so we limit time in town at the moment. I won't be able to afford driving lessons for the time being but it's on the list for the next few years. Being without a car is definitely making life limited but it is what it is for now.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 28/02/2020 10:12

Doesn't your local library have toddler sessions? They're enough. Both of mine didn't do anything other than one playgroup session a week...and we didn't know a soul there...nobody was friendly...so we only stayed for half an hour! That and library rhyme time sessions once a week.

They started preschool at 3 and were/are fine!

DownWhichOfLate · 28/02/2020 10:57

That’s the life of the second child! I’m sure they’ll be fine. It is a shame that there aren’t really many children around to play with as most are at nursery / childcare. But your child won’t suffer because of this. As you say, summer coming up and trips to the park is perfectly fine!

HoffiCoffi13 · 28/02/2020 11:02

I think at 2 it is nice for them to have time to play/socialise with other children, whether at baby group of elsewhere.
I have two at school and a 1 year old, I also find groups hard to fit in around school runs and nap times but we try to go to 1 a week, and I am lucky to have friends with similar aged children.
However I would also go insane if I was stuck in with him all day so maybe I do it for my benefit rather than his!
I put mine into nursery for 2 mornings a week at 2, even though I was at home. My first 2 were close in age so when DD1 went it gave me chance to spend 1:1 time with DD2, then when DD2 went it gave me 6 free hours a week!

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Cookiecrumble887 · 28/02/2020 11:22

thanks everybody. The library here doesn't do the toddler classes. At one point there was a tumble tots class at the church on my street. they stop doing it so obviously we can't do that either but it's such a shame because that is something I'd like to do with him.

it probably is just a second child thing fullstop life different now I've got one at school and we have to do different things now. When my daughter was a baby we only had her to worry about and we didn't have to be anywhere so we were able to do more things. .
I think it was just because my friend suggested he needed to socialize a bit. I know what she means and I don't disagree but I just feel like there isn't really many options as well as at the moment. also as circumstances are a bit different. She has one child who is now the school and a car. When she's done the school run she often goes and pick the car up and takes herself to the gym or she'll go into town and do bits and pieces. The weather doesn't affect her plans because she doesn't have to consider walking 45 minutes in the rain to get somewhere. I know her suggestions were completely nicely though and I don't disagree with what she said. It's just hard to explain to somebody who's only got one that the multitasking side of it is very different.

I feel a bit better from these replies that he's going to be absolutely fine. Hopefully once we can get out and about a bit more I can relax. Even the weekends will be better soon because will be able to go to beaches and woods and stuff again.I think it's just the long slog of winter is finally got to me I'm questioning the last time we actually were able to do anything much will stop there's only so many times you can put them in a puddle suit and go and find somebody else to jump in isn't there. Thanks for the replies guys. X

OP posts:
Cookiecrumble887 · 28/02/2020 11:23

Sorry for the typos x

OP posts:
DownWhichOfLate · 28/02/2020 11:25

Pros and cons to everything. As long as you are actively joining in play etc he will benefit hugely from having the 1-1 time with you! And then gets to play with his sister. Best of both worlds Grin

LER83 · 28/02/2020 11:50

Personally I think it's a bit of a new thing being constantly told our babies/toddlers
need to be doing things/socialising! Back in the 80's when I was young you went to a playgroup twice a week for 2 hours from about age 3/4 and that was it! I wouldn't worry too much. Just go to anything that you would like to. Maybe see if there are any forest school type things in the summer as sounds like you might both enjoy that type of thing.

Cookiecrumble887 · 28/02/2020 12:21

Absolutely agree @LER83

That was my upbringing too. I think because there's such a variety in how kids are starting out now it has become a pressure on parents abit. My daughter did a small amount of nursery. She's quite shy. The ones that did full time nursery are the ones always at the front performing on tapestry and they are so full of confidence. It makes me think am I ruining my kids chances of being like that by not doing enough.

I remember the health visitor telling me to take mine to the baby classes and thinking why though. They sleep most the day and don't sit up. I think it's to give mums a chance to socialise and be less alone. The thing is the ones who need to socialise are probably the ones too nervous to go alone etc. Also the classes don't always fit around life so people get stuck.

Definitely feeling guilty today. Can't wait for the school run later the winds blasting rain on the window lol

OP posts:
Cookiecrumble887 · 28/02/2020 12:22

@DownWhichOfLate thank you. Good points. Grin he gets to see a child everyday in that respect with his sister.

OP posts:
Nowayorhighway · 28/02/2020 12:24

I use an app called Hoop to find local groups, I absolutely love it and couldn’t live without it now. We go to a rhyme time session at the local library which is free, baby swimming once a week which is cheap and another one at a local softplay centre which is free with entry to the softplay (which is only 99p). I live in a small town so not a big thriving city by any means but we always manage to get to groups. I also have school children so manage the groups around the school run with ease. Try the app, it’s really useful.

Nowayorhighway · 28/02/2020 12:25

They don’t need to go to groups when they’re small babies but it’s beneficial for toddlers to imo, it’s also good for you as a Mother to get out of the house.

Thisisgreen · 28/02/2020 14:33

Have you considered swimming together, whether in lessons or on your own? Music classes like Monkey Music, Hartbeeps etc; soft play, local church groups often have toddler play sessions, leisure centres sometimes run various activities for children of all ages.

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